AIBU to ask you for the funniest reasons you've lost interest in someone?

[BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust]

I did one of these threads under a different username a couple of years ago with hundreds and hundreds of replies and it genuinely brought me to tears. I can't find it to read back on.

I'm recovering from surgery and laying horizontal and was hoping some of you could revive your funny / cringy experiences to brighten my day.

After a long marriage, I have spent the last 3 years being superbly single and here are some that I have been through, which immediately gave me the 'ick.'

• I was taken on a lovely date in London. Really hit it off well. He drove me home (rooky error) and proceeded to indicate around every bend and curve in the road. I got home, thanked him for his time and blocked him.

• next one was a guy I was seeing for a few months. He told me 6 days in 'I generally really love you.' And would type Mabye instead of maybe. I just couldn't get over it.

• getting jiggy with someone. I proceeded to use my hand to help me along. After the deed was done and I (finally) got there, he proceeded to well up with actual tears and told me I shouldn't need to do that, and to give him constructive feedback on his performance so I wouldn't need to do that in future. I didn't sleep with him again.

• Those fucking ridiculous ballerina socks men wear. This might be trivial but I just wait for any bloke wearing them to burst into a full pirouette. This was also the same guy as above.

• Another hinge guy would send 😂 after every message. What are you up to today? 😂
I'm just getting home from work 😂

I have so many more. Many many more. Please tell me your experiences to remind me why I need to stay single!

Because they put raw mushrooms in a salad.

I was young!

And also they listened to Avichi (or however you spell it: awful music).

Bathed in aftershave, was like some sort of sensory torture, almost eye watering

I briefly dated a guy years ago, we had ordered a Chinese takeaway. I had chosen a dish plus rice and he ordered a couple of dishes as well. When it arrived he proceeded to empty up half of every dish onto two plate and mix them all up together! I didn't want the dishes he had chosen...I just wanted my chosen food and I certainly didn't want them in a mixed up mess on my plate.

Bought me flowers.

Hear me out. I was in my 20s. He brought flowers to my workplace. We'd only been on about three dates. It was just too much. I had an inkling he was going to do something like that from his text messages. I told me boss who let me go early. When he found I wasn't at work he came round to my flat. I didn't answer. He buzzed my neighbours. I couldn't breathe.

He then sent me a text saying he'd introduced himself to my landlady and he'd left a little something in the hall for me "but one is missing, because I had to give it to a beautiful little Asian child in the takeaway who was admiring them." I got even more annoyed with it all. I felt like he was trying to manipulate me. I told him we had different ideas about stuff, that he was overwhelming me and that I didn't like conducting my private life in public. I felt a bit invaded.

When I told my friends they all called me a fool and said "So you dumped him for buying you flowers?!"

But I know I was right. It was red flaggy to me, before I knew what that was.

Bit harsh given Avicii killed himself

He said he never pooed and anyone who did was disgusting

Oh I found it hilarious at the time. I guess as he turned out to be a massive cheat, everything about him is just yuck to me now.

Once dumped someone because of poor table manners. Got on great but being incapable of chewing with your mouth closed is a massive turnoff.

Not really.

We all have different tastes I suppose 🤷
I have both types of shoes, but not currently the socks. And anyway, I'd never prance around in just the socks - I agree that (shoeless) they look a bit rubbish.

Mmmm.....I wish. These were in his Reg Grundies. He was 32 but it was as if he hadn't wiped his arse since he was 4.

I checked my texts and there was a 'family emergency'. : ) : )

I once made a joke and my date laughed and snorted a huge snot bubble out of his nose, pointed at it and said “ooooh look, the nimble advert”………IYNYN 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I didn’t see him again 🤮

One guy I met online didn't even get beyond the texting stage before I'd had enough - he wanted our first date to be at my granny's funeral. How romantic.

(She was already dead, it's not like he was planning to off her just so we could then go to her funeral. That would probably have put me off even more.)

This is ridiculous but I wasn’t seeing him, I just liked him a bit, and there was a smell around the building we were in and he said they needed to get a ‘smellometer’ which is actually funny written down but just the way he said it, made me go ‘Ugh’ I think it was the smell that put me off. My mouth made that shape for disgust and I couldn’t undo it.

Interest was lost in one word. It’s astounding isn’t it.

I can totally remember ' baked in a buttery flaky crust' It will be alright on the night!! thanks for the memory @BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust

My first boyfriend said "Urghh that's revolting" when I first farted in front of him (by accident I might add, I don't even do it on purpose now and I've been with my partner 9 years - just how I was brought up).

To be clear, it didn't smell, it wasn't particularly big or loud, it was just a little trump sound, and that's what he objected to.

The fact I farted was "revolting".

Such an extreme word.

That gave me the ick, and was definitely the beginning of the end.

Just cos he killed himself, doesn't make his music any better.

Can we see your dating profile??? Alll these dates, bloody hell you must have a great profile!

This is so funny, thanks OP. Only on page 2, but wanted to add one of my ick experiences was with clagnuts 🤮. Uh oh, flashback!

Two separate men
one who played golf
another who used the word muff to describe a womens private parts

Wait what are men’s ballerina socks?!!

sounds like trainer socks

Have you seen the out takes for the ad!?

https://youtube.com/shorts/AoMxjyr8X4c?is=81pC7Ebp7Qw9w63w

here if anyone wants a laugh haha

Guy I was sort of seeing said epitome like epi toe m and refused to accept that it wasnt said like that.

Didnt see him again.

I don't think it's particularly funny but he was only interesting in bed. Otherwise he just droned on and on about drivel. After the third date I was going to call a halt but he told me he was moving away to the other end of the country next month so I decided just to let it come to a natural end. Until the fourth date when he said he was probably not going to move away now he'd met me and I was forced to dump him post haste. And he insisted on my explaining exactly why it wasn't working and why he should move until in the end I simply had to tell him he was boring as fuck. Poor sod.