AIBU to ask you for the funniest reasons you've lost interest in someone?

[BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust]

I did one of these threads under a different username a couple of years ago with hundreds and hundreds of replies and it genuinely brought me to tears. I can't find it to read back on.

I'm recovering from surgery and laying horizontal and was hoping some of you could revive your funny / cringy experiences to brighten my day.

After a long marriage, I have spent the last 3 years being superbly single and here are some that I have been through, which immediately gave me the 'ick.'

• I was taken on a lovely date in London. Really hit it off well. He drove me home (rooky error) and proceeded to indicate around every bend and curve in the road. I got home, thanked him for his time and blocked him.

• next one was a guy I was seeing for a few months. He told me 6 days in 'I generally really love you.' And would type Mabye instead of maybe. I just couldn't get over it.

• getting jiggy with someone. I proceeded to use my hand to help me along. After the deed was done and I (finally) got there, he proceeded to well up with actual tears and told me I shouldn't need to do that, and to give him constructive feedback on his performance so I wouldn't need to do that in future. I didn't sleep with him again.

• Those fucking ridiculous ballerina socks men wear. This might be trivial but I just wait for any bloke wearing them to burst into a full pirouette. This was also the same guy as above.

• Another hinge guy would send 😂 after every message. What are you up to today? 😂
I'm just getting home from work 😂

I have so many more. Many many more. Please tell me your experiences to remind me why I need to stay single!

Another guy would lick the inside of his crisp packet until there was literally nothing but spit left on it. That was nice.

@BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust my cat does this 😂

There's multiple replies on this thread of men almost infantilising their dicks
Dicky
sucky sucky
the man
little man
even more on this thread but those above come to mind

I actually find it so incredibly off putting and creepy. They act as if their dicks are their own entities and some of the names are almost child like. I mean I haven't been sexually active with a woman before but I cannot imagine a woman going 'fannywanny?' My lady? Little lady?

Absolutely gross. Anyone who does this is an absolute weirdo!

Oh holy Jesus 🤮🤮🤮

That should be illegal. One of my favourite meals of all time and he decided to make an absolute an abomination of it. Which isn't easy to do when the dish is sublime.

i would have got the ick and dumped him too. I actually think it's quite disrespectful especially as you went to China Town to get proper ingredients! Foolish behaviour.

It put me off Brummies for a long time.

I hope it was naice ham 😂

Was it Roger Rees by any chance? I also thought he was very 'pointy'.

Ah yes now I remember, you are so right!

Looks like him, yes.

Bad spelling is a good enough reason.

Licking my face. I felt sick.

Oh, I’ve discussed the infantilising / baby voice thing with a group of men and they all had at least one experience of women who either talked about genitals in the most icky and twee ways imaginable.

Also, apparently some women are really uptight about language and will only use the correct clinical terms, as if their partner was their gynaecologist. If a man did the equivalent in bed with me, I’d be leaving before it was over.

‘Or the one who had bad eczema and I woke up with his face kind of stuck to mine‘

SCREAMING! 💀

I posted earlier but thought of another really weird thing a guy did. He kept his eyes open when we were kissing. I had mine closed so I didn't know this. He blurted this out and said he did this because it stopped him from getting emotionally involved.

I was once interested in this woman who was wicked smart, gorgeous, funny, and great to be around. We made plans to go to Tokyo for 10 days. A couple of months before the trip, she asked if we could rebook the flights as her feng shui master had cautioned her against going on a trip that month. Always knew she was mildly superstitious but I assumed it was just for fun. Guess not!

I had similar. It was at the end of a party and he couldn't find his condoms so suggested we used cling film instead - the cling film that had been covering the sandwiches 6 hours earlier 😧

😂

This thread is just hilarious! Definitely brightening up a dull week - thanks.
I used to think that poor spelling was an immediate turnoff but I am now madly in love with a wonderful man who messages me to say he will ‘wonder down to your house later’ and I can’t bring myself to correct him - in fact I find it endearing😃

If you're proper into someone it's amazing how the ick disappears 😂
My DH did a "your" for "you're" when we were first together. I did relentlessly take the piss but no ick!

Apostrophes. The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit. 😂

I dated a gorgeous-looking boy in my teens, but was turned off when we met in the park, and he had a bag of pineapple chunks, and all I could taste when we kissed was the sickly, sugary residue from the pineapple chunks, so I dumped him.

Later in my 20s I dated a guy who was great company, but he was tall and well- built, while I am tiny at only 5ft and I was too scared to get intimate with him in case he crushed me, so that's another one I had to dump.

Pronounces Tanqueray gin Tan-queer-ee
Mouth tasted like baked beans
Another micro penis/saggy balls
All different men

This thread and the linked ones are so funny. But they’ve also made me wonder what if the shoe was on the other foot. I’m sure some of my past dates would probably list swerving me as a lucky escape. The time I turned up for a date bright orange having slathered on the wrong foundation in articificial light. He was v chivalrous and didn’t mention it at all. When I got home and checked my face in natural light - on my god the embarrassment, bright orange and I looked mad.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure everyone at some point has caused their own ‘ick’ moment. I know I definitely have!

Fortunately, I got the ick at him getting the ick, so it was mutual 😁

I dated a physio and he absolutely hated the way I walked - said it was terrible and I would end up with back and hip pain (he was right 😂😂)