AIBU to ask you for the funniest reasons you've lost interest in someone?

[BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust]

I did one of these threads under a different username a couple of years ago with hundreds and hundreds of replies and it genuinely brought me to tears. I can't find it to read back on.

I'm recovering from surgery and laying horizontal and was hoping some of you could revive your funny / cringy experiences to brighten my day.

After a long marriage, I have spent the last 3 years being superbly single and here are some that I have been through, which immediately gave me the 'ick.'

• I was taken on a lovely date in London. Really hit it off well. He drove me home (rooky error) and proceeded to indicate around every bend and curve in the road. I got home, thanked him for his time and blocked him.

• next one was a guy I was seeing for a few months. He told me 6 days in 'I generally really love you.' And would type Mabye instead of maybe. I just couldn't get over it.

• getting jiggy with someone. I proceeded to use my hand to help me along. After the deed was done and I (finally) got there, he proceeded to well up with actual tears and told me I shouldn't need to do that, and to give him constructive feedback on his performance so I wouldn't need to do that in future. I didn't sleep with him again.

• Those fucking ridiculous ballerina socks men wear. This might be trivial but I just wait for any bloke wearing them to burst into a full pirouette. This was also the same guy as above.

• Another hinge guy would send 😂 after every message. What are you up to today? 😂
I'm just getting home from work 😂

I have so many more. Many many more. Please tell me your experiences to remind me why I need to stay single!

I went on a date with someone who only ate peas and carrots for vegetables.

It was like eating with a toddler.

@BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust
What are men's ballerina socks? 🤔

My most recent ditch was a distinct lack of cleanliness, 'down there' 🤢
Then there was 'dog walk date woman' - I don't mind a dog walk, but not 6 in a row, without any inclination to go on an actual proper date.

I went on a date with a guy and within 10 mins of meeting he told me he liked to dress up as a panda and also had all sorts of other costumes that he’d wear to work and he showed me all the pictures (he worked in IT, not any kind of children’s entertainment 😭) - I wanted to leave but he’d already booked us cinema tickets so spent ages with him and it just got weirder and weirder. Never saw him again.

I didn’t like the way he said ‘toilet’

Too many to mention but the best ones (all different men)

'Met' online and arranged a date
All good until he opened his mouth and spoke-he sounded just like donald duck

Another date-had been on a few dates and where getting down to it
He took off his (white) pants and they where persil white-they almost glowed in the dark

The one who took me to Scarborough (a few dates in)
There is (or used to be) a burger van on the seafront
He ordered himself a massive burger,sat and scoffed it (with grease and ketchup running down his chin) while looking me in the eye and saying 'nomnomnom'
Didn't even ask if I wanted a chip

My ex-i was madly in love with this arsehole and had gone to see him
He must had stepped out of his jeans/pants in his bedroom and left them there
They where soaked in dried shit-it had dripped through to his jeans
Ive never felt love dry up so fast

Had all his teddy bears lined up on top of his wardrobe

Had a dried bogey on his nostril

When he spoke he had white stringy saliva in his mouth

Didn't own a toothbrush (or any teeth)

Had the same name as my brother

Went on a date,went really well and he ghosted me
Popped back up a few months later and tried to act like it hadn't happened
He must have met someone else,that ended and he tried to come back to me for a shag

Had a really long foreskin-it sort of dangled over the end of his willy

I guess I get the ick really easily

Way way back in my teenage years.... seeing a guy but it was long distance. We arranged a date. He kept scratching his armpits.... turned out he had a fungal infection. And he wanted to hold hands....🤢🤢🤢🤢🤣🤣🤣 Nope 🤣🤣

Perhaps she confused the dating site with WalkMyDoggo.com.

My ex didn't have an arse

His legs just sort of joined his back with no arse in-between

He was a weird combination of skinny and soft at the same time

Very off putting

His pencil dick didn't help matters

Last date I had the bloke really struggled to speak English. Had to use Google translate most of the conversation (cup of tea).
He didn't even bother getting a parking space, kept looking at his watch. When I asked why he said he was parked on double yellow lines and was worried about getting a ticket.
As soon as we had finished our cuppa he wanted to walk me to the bus stop and see me home....I declined 🤣🤣

My worst was a man who ate like a mechanical digger. The food would arrive and he would fall on it like a dog. His food was all gone before I'd lifted a fork.

Otherwise he was lovely so I tried again. On the second date the food was scalding hot. It didn't slow him down a bit. He still shoveled it in but between scoops would make a medium sized O with his mouth and puff out steam like a dragon. I don't think he even knew he was doing it.

OMG I need to see your old thread.

im dying already

Years ago, before dating apps, I was on the Friends Reunited dating site.
Met a guy on there, lots of texting for a couple of weeks and he really piqued my interest as he used proper words and not text speak (as befell most people when you had a text limit of so many characters)
His photo looked nice, he said he was just under 6ft, he looked after himself etc

We decided to meet at a Riverside pub in London.
Imagine my dismay when ‘just under 6ft’ was actually 5ft 4 and a waist so thin and waspish I fear he would snap with any physical activity. He had this enormous white watch on his super skinny wrist and I cannot explain why that gave me the ick but it did. I made excuses and left.

Another guy I met, very good looking and seemed quite normal, loudly exclaimed how he was ‘famished’ after we had enjoyed a lovely dinner date.
I asked if he was still hungry, he looked at me quizzically and said no, I told you, I’m famished!
No second date.

He took what was supposed to be a quick call when he’d just dished up dinner, but got caught on the phone. He apologised and I said, “Don’t worry; I’ll just stick it in the microwave for a minute”.

I can only describe the look he gave me as utter, utter bewilderment. He said, “Microwave?” and looked blankly, like he’d just heard the word. I said, “Yes, I’ll just heat it through”. He still had the bewildered look and said “I haven’t got a microwave”.

I just said, “Oh, okay”, thinking that was that, and realising I hadn’t seen one and had just assumed everyone had one. No harm done, right? But he kept looking at me really oddly and saying “Why would I have a microwave? What would I use it for? Why?” I said to reheat things, to cook baked beans, ready meals etc… He was generally staring in complete confusion, saying “I’d use the oven. I’d use a pan. Why would I have a microwave?!”

I was saying fine, well warm the food in the oven, it doesn’t matter… but he was still babbling “I’d just use the oven; I’d use a pan…”

Now, I had no issue with him not owning a microwave! But the way he was looking at me like I’d said “Can you fetch your unicorn?” was just bizarre. I couldn’t find him attractive after that. Every time I looked at him I could hear “Microwave?!”

He was a nice guy and keen on us pursuing things, then suddenly he pulled a face and reminded me of my ex.

When I was in my teens I went on a date with a guy who kept talking in the cinema during a film. He was the one who had suggested the cinema even though I had suggested going somewhere we could chat, he kept asking me questions to get to know me like, "So do you have any brothers or sisters?" and I would answer and then say, "but why don't we watch the film and then we can go for a drink after and chat properly then?" He would say okay but then ask another question. There was a group our age behind us getting really annoyed and and shouting at him to shhh. After a while of this I told him that if he kept talking I would move to sit somewhere else. I said it nicely but then not long after he started trying to chat again so I got up and moved a few seats away from him to watch the rest of the film. The group behind me cheered.

I've felt guilty about it for 20 years but also, it was really annoying!

Sounds like I am trying too hard as it is super similar to 'Joey doesn't share food!' but was revolted by a chap using his hands to take from my plate on a first date.Bit too intimate,non?

Another guy mad because I didn't share his interest in wicker furniture. That was bizarre AF.He worked in a garden furniture decor type shop, I was visiting to try and sell ad space (was 19). I was not successful lol but he asked me out and seemed nice enough.

2 drinks in,was offended that I led him on as he thought I would have noticed his 'passion'.

He ran with his arms straight down. Completely parallel with his thighs including hands straight to as if he was pencilling into a swimming pool.

That ended before it even started. I laughed so hard and told him to pack it in as I thought he was messing about pretending to run like an absolute buffoon, but it was his actual run.

That is absolutely hilarious 😂

He wanted to lick my armpits preferably when they were sweaty 🥵

He didn’t have pillows in his bed. He used a soft toy. 🤦‍♀️

LOLLING HAHAHHA

These absolute bad boys.

Not funny but massively irritating.

When a plate of food was put in front of him he would excitedly rub is hands together, back & forth, along with having a huge grin on his face to show his total excitement of what he was about to eat.

I put up with 12 months of this. Eventually the flaw outweighed the good.

Oh those - I don't currently have any, but I have worn them - essential for the sockless loafer or boating shoe look. Any stylish gent will know what I mean. Without them the shoes/feet very quickly become sweaty and stinky, which is unappealing.

Running like a pencil made laugh so
much.

One guy sent me a ‘sexy’ video - him dramatically revealing his willy from behind his dressing gown. The way a magician would reveal a magic trick. 😂😂

Another man - on a first date, one of the first questions he asked was “do you believe in evolution?”. I was a little gobsmacked.

The worst though was a guy who kept calling me kitten (🤮🤮) and asked me to wear a leather cat mask.