AIBU to ask you for the funniest reasons you've lost interest in someone?

[BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust]

I did one of these threads under a different username a couple of years ago with hundreds and hundreds of replies and it genuinely brought me to tears. I can't find it to read back on.

I'm recovering from surgery and laying horizontal and was hoping some of you could revive your funny / cringy experiences to brighten my day.

After a long marriage, I have spent the last 3 years being superbly single and here are some that I have been through, which immediately gave me the 'ick.'

• I was taken on a lovely date in London. Really hit it off well. He drove me home (rooky error) and proceeded to indicate around every bend and curve in the road. I got home, thanked him for his time and blocked him.

• next one was a guy I was seeing for a few months. He told me 6 days in 'I generally really love you.' And would type Mabye instead of maybe. I just couldn't get over it.

• getting jiggy with someone. I proceeded to use my hand to help me along. After the deed was done and I (finally) got there, he proceeded to well up with actual tears and told me I shouldn't need to do that, and to give him constructive feedback on his performance so I wouldn't need to do that in future. I didn't sleep with him again.

• Those fucking ridiculous ballerina socks men wear. This might be trivial but I just wait for any bloke wearing them to burst into a full pirouette. This was also the same guy as above.

• Another hinge guy would send 😂 after every message. What are you up to today? 😂
I'm just getting home from work 😂

I have so many more. Many many more. Please tell me your experiences to remind me why I need to stay single!

We were in bed after a good first date about to do the deed when I noticed his ear canal was full of wax. He also had a massive bush that needed trimming, I had ignored that but the ear wax was too much. Had to tell him I had changed my mind.

Looked like his eyes were going to pop out when he orgasmed.

Someone who wouldn’t put any form of bag on the floor except at home - shopping bags, plastic bags, any form of handbag, which doesn’t sound so bad but they expected me to accede to their wishes, and it often meant considerable gymnastic contortions when paying bus fares or entrance fees, juggling numerous bags from arm to arm. Every time we went to a cafe they would demand an extra chair to park their bag on. It just became tiresome rather than eccentric at some point

😂

🤣🤣🤣

I hate people that don't get "your" and "you're" right, their so stupid....

I have tried these but they don´t stay in place, do you use superglue or something?

One time the man I was seeing said he needed to run some errands before lunch, we went into sports direct where he queued and then explained he needed to exchange some shoes as he wasn’t happy with the quality and amount of wear in the short time he’d had them. When the lady asked to see them…he took them off his feet and slid them over the counter. He stood barefoot only to be told ‘any items purchased online must be returned online’ he argued, before having to put them back on and leave.

Months into seeing a man we went out for dinner to an Italian restaurant, he had lasagne. Neither of us liked the dessert options. Agreed to go to Tesco after to get puddings to take back to his, where I was staying. Picked out our puddings and then he shamelessly leads me to the toiletries isle where he gets 3 packs of ‘flushable wipes’ and tells me ‘cheese never agrees with me’ PARDON ME

Another man, morning coffee date. Sniffling the whole time and kept moaning about his hayfever, he had larger than average nostrils and mid conversation a trail of clear snot ran from his nose to his lip and sat there unwiped for longer than I’d care for.

I have large feet, so I buy men's ones (usually sized 8–12 or something; I'm an 8, and women's ones tend to be sized 3–7). They sometimes end up bunched round my heel or toes, so they're not ideal. But sometimes I just want a no-sock look, so I put up with it.

😂😂😂😂

We need the laughing emoji. I was expecting a pile on from those who didn't get your joke about they're 😂