AIBU to ask you for the funniest reasons you've lost interest in someone?

[BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust]

I did one of these threads under a different username a couple of years ago with hundreds and hundreds of replies and it genuinely brought me to tears. I can't find it to read back on.

I'm recovering from surgery and laying horizontal and was hoping some of you could revive your funny / cringy experiences to brighten my day.

After a long marriage, I have spent the last 3 years being superbly single and here are some that I have been through, which immediately gave me the 'ick.'

• I was taken on a lovely date in London. Really hit it off well. He drove me home (rooky error) and proceeded to indicate around every bend and curve in the road. I got home, thanked him for his time and blocked him.

• next one was a guy I was seeing for a few months. He told me 6 days in 'I generally really love you.' And would type Mabye instead of maybe. I just couldn't get over it.

• getting jiggy with someone. I proceeded to use my hand to help me along. After the deed was done and I (finally) got there, he proceeded to well up with actual tears and told me I shouldn't need to do that, and to give him constructive feedback on his performance so I wouldn't need to do that in future. I didn't sleep with him again.

• Those fucking ridiculous ballerina socks men wear. This might be trivial but I just wait for any bloke wearing them to burst into a full pirouette. This was also the same guy as above.

• Another hinge guy would send 😂 after every message. What are you up to today? 😂
I'm just getting home from work 😂

I have so many more. Many many more. Please tell me your experiences to remind me why I need to stay single!

My friend's SIL who thought she was posh did this. My friend had two jars of everything that a knife could go into, one of which would have a secret mark. That was the one for SIL.

Thewonderfuldollypartonsbra · 24/10/2026 15:56

My ex didn't have an arse
His legs just sort of joined his back with no arse in-between

I had one of these. Totally flat from the side view. Never seen anything like it. He was the Pez dispenser bloke.

Used the word peckish.
Another told me he was going to redesign the electric guitar.

I don't know why the former gave me the ick but the latter just struck me as grossly childish and juvenile.

🤣🤣🤣 I laughed so hard at this 😆😆😆

😀
it is gross and shows such lack of awareness

🤣🤣🤣 God I laughed so much at this 😆😆😆

WTF!!?? This is sacrilege!

Newly single I was thinking of maybe looking for someone in the future but after reading most of these, I've given myself a stern talking to. However for entertainment value I think I might concede and get a notebook 😀

I dated a guy who always licked my cheek, I cant stand licking or saliva and it was a major turn off, asked him politely to stop it as it made me gag and vomit. He didnt so I told him I didnt want to see him anymore.

First time shagging him, he was (I think) over eager and had to do heavy breathing exercises to avoid cumming to soon. Not sexy panting/moaning, like childbirth fast panting to stay on top of the physical sensation. Urgh.

Another one after the first shag, told me his spunk was really thick because it'd been a long time since he'd last ejaculated. Bork.

Used my loo and yes, left a skid mark. I pointed it out and he said he thought it would wash away when he flushed. But he hadn't checked. Rank. Told me that either someone else cleaned for him OR that he was a slob. Neither were attractive.

Turned up for our date wearing a MASSIVE gold chain. Think along the lines of 1990s rappers. Except he was a tubby, mid 50s English bloke. Not gross but just an unusually specific choice for a first date with a middle aged woman in a little East Anglian village.

Did you eventually meet a ringless Greek God with stinky trainers and sauce down his shirt front?

. . . given the Spanish? Is this a typo?

No it isn't 🦨👃🤢

His name was Wayne. He was good-looking, but not enough for me to disregard his name 😂

@RJMacReady last name - Kerr

Oh - so did I! And I would have walked away except that I was already in love with him when he revealed it to me. So for four and a half years I made sure we never ate meals that required an actual knife and fork (we didn't live together). It took a fair bit of planning and now I look back on it - it was a long time ago - it was my very first experience of the mental load.

i thought it is maybe cockney rhyming slang but Spanish means Bunion (Spanish Onion) so id like to know too

Was his name Pinocchio?

People don't get Botox in their lips!!

Signed off a text with 'chow for now'. I mean, even spelt correctly I would have been having doubts!

The only thing to do in that situation. I hope you have your ducks in a row? 😆

Sounds as though you were playing gooseberry 😆

@DiscoDown18 nooooooooooooooooo, a non Italian using Ciao is dreadful, id have dumped as well - perfectly understandable

I thought it referred to 'el bow' as in, 'given the elbow' but dividing the word makes it sound Spanish?

Orrr doorrr, ud uz ruuurduuurr good