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AIBU?

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AIBU to ask you for the funniest reasons you've lost interest in someone?

459 replies

BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust · 24/10/2026 14:49

I did one of these threads under a different username a couple of years ago with hundreds and hundreds of replies and it genuinely brought me to tears. I can't find it to read back on.

I'm recovering from surgery and laying horizontal and was hoping some of you could revive your funny / cringy experiences to brighten my day.

After a long marriage, I have spent the last 3 years being superbly single and here are some that I have been through, which immediately gave me the 'ick.'

• I was taken on a lovely date in London. Really hit it off well. He drove me home (rooky error) and proceeded to indicate around every bend and curve in the road. I got home, thanked him for his time and blocked him.

• next one was a guy I was seeing for a few months. He told me 6 days in 'I generally really love you.' And would type Mabye instead of maybe. I just couldn't get over it.

• getting jiggy with someone. I proceeded to use my hand to help me along. After the deed was done and I (finally) got there, he proceeded to well up with actual tears and told me I shouldn't need to do that, and to give him constructive feedback on his performance so I wouldn't need to do that in future. I didn't sleep with him again.

• Those fucking ridiculous ballerina socks men wear. This might be trivial but I just wait for any bloke wearing them to burst into a full pirouette. This was also the same guy as above.

• Another hinge guy would send 😂 after every message. What are you up to today? 😂
I'm just getting home from work 😂

I have so many more. Many many more. Please tell me your experiences to remind me why I need to stay single!

OP posts:
TheThirteenthFairy · 26/10/2026 10:29

Pudmyboy · 26/10/2026 10:23

I thought it referred to 'el bow' as in, 'given the elbow' but dividing the word makes it sound Spanish?

It would be unusual to use something so esoteric in a casual communication, though.

BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust · 26/10/2026 10:30

LuciferOverLancashire · 26/10/2026 09:44

i thought it is maybe cockney rhyming slang but Spanish means Bunion (Spanish Onion) so id like to know too

@TheThirteenthFairy

given the Spanish elbow! (Poorly attempted slang haha)

OP posts:
Gabbycat245 · 26/10/2026 10:30

This thread is gold 🤣

BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust · 26/10/2026 10:31

TheThirteenthFairy · 26/10/2026 10:29

It would be unusual to use something so esoteric in a casual communication, though.

Oh! It's been used in my family for a long long time by multiple generations. (SE and east London)

OP posts:
LuciferOverLancashire · 26/10/2026 10:33

@Gabbycat245 22ct and I am learning so much

Gabbycat245 · 26/10/2026 10:38

LuciferOverLancashire · 26/10/2026 10:33

@Gabbycat245 22ct and I am learning so much

I've always said that should I ever find myself single again, I will never live with another man again. Now it looks like I won't even be dating any 🤢

Ladygodalmighty · 26/10/2026 10:39

BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust · 26/10/2026 10:31

Oh! It's been used in my family for a long long time by multiple generations. (SE and east London)

It's new to me but I'm going to start using it. Brilliant 👏

HappiestSleeping · 26/10/2026 10:40

BakedInAButteryFlakyCrust · 26/10/2026 10:30

@TheThirteenthFairy

given the Spanish elbow! (Poorly attempted slang haha)

I think it is the Spanish Archer. El Bow.

InterestedDad37 · 26/10/2026 10:44

Ladygodalmighty · 26/10/2026 09:53

People don't get Botox in their lips!!

Foreheads then. I don't want expressionless feet 🤔 🦶

Deboragh · 26/10/2026 11:16

ItalianChips · 24/10/2026 15:28

Just realized I do this every time with ham, always have done and no idea why.

Me too. You can get more ham on the plate, that's why.

MyTeaParty · 26/10/2026 11:16

😂😂😂😂

JoWawa · 26/10/2026 11:20

WoesFromAuntFlo · 24/10/2026 15:07

Had been seeing a guy maybe a week, we went out for drinks on Christmas Eve and he told me he couldn’t wait to introduce me to his mum the next day - we had never spoken about spending Christmas at his house, he banged on way too much about how much his mum would love me, and it was all a bit Norman Bates for me.

Another guy on a blind date (set up by friends at work) gave me his home phone number and said he didn’t believe in mobiles?! This was 2012 and I didn’t realise people even used landlines still

Oh and one guy who tried to have full blown conversations with me whilst doing the deed. I finally lost it when he spent a whole sex session talking about his upcoming ski holiday, including what he was planning to have for dinner every night he was there. Boak

We still have and use a land line.

Deboragh · 26/10/2026 11:30

Thewonderfuldollypartonsbra · 24/10/2026 15:56

My ex didn't have an arse

His legs just sort of joined his back with no arse in-between

He was a weird combination of skinny and soft at the same time

Very off putting

His pencil dick didn't help matters

I think I married your ex !

LapisBlue · 26/10/2026 11:30

OrneryWorld · 26/10/2026 08:20

Thewonderfuldollypartonsbra · 24/10/2026 15:56

My ex didn't have an arse
His legs just sort of joined his back with no arse in-between

I had one of these. Totally flat from the side view. Never seen anything like it. He was the Pez dispenser bloke.

I had one of these, too. It was like being in bed with a bicycle.

Deboragh · 26/10/2026 11:55

Artisticscience · 24/10/2026 17:10

I briefly dated a guy years ago, we had ordered a Chinese takeaway. I had chosen a dish plus rice and he ordered a couple of dishes as well. When it arrived he proceeded to empty up half of every dish onto two plate and mix them all up together! I didn't want the dishes he had chosen...I just wanted my chosen food and I certainly didn't want them in a mixed up mess on my plate.

Did he work in a kennels..

Deboragh · 26/10/2026 11:59

NinaGeiger · 24/10/2026 17:15

Bit harsh given Avicii killed himself

Err , srd you supposed to force yourself to like someone just because they did something insanely selfish.

WitcheryDivine · 26/10/2026 12:04

NescafeAndIce · 26/10/2026 10:29

Orrr doorrr, ud uz ruuurduuurr good

This set me off 😂

Melonmango70 · 26/10/2026 12:37

Redragtoabull · 25/10/2026 17:53

I told an ex that I found a trimmed man's bush attractive. He decided to give himself a barbering, took it too far so he had no hair at all and his dick looked like Gonzo. I couldn't get the image out of my head, him standing there bald as the day he was born with the Gonzo snoz jutting out. Huge ick and relationship done

Gonzo!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

omghereistrouble · 26/10/2026 12:44

met guy did not even say hello. spent a whole hour just staring at me never said a word not even when i got up and left. i know he said he was shy but really!

dtd and when he got up he had left skids all over my duvet cover and sheet

RedxRobin · 26/10/2026 13:28

Many moons ago at Uni I had recently got out of a horrible relationship & my flatmates persuaded me to go on a date with a friend of theirs who seemed very sweet but totally not my type. As I wasn't sure if my type was a particularly good one (after two horrible ex's in a row I was questioning my judgement) I agreed.

On the date we had zero chemistry and then he told me that he was a virgin. He then proceeded to say that he knew I wouldn't go out with him again because he was a virgin so I ended up going out with him for a couple of weeks because I felt bad and didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Problem was he gave me massive ick. He was sweet but we had zero chemistry. He had what he termed 'viking nipples' (less attractive than it sounds) and the clincher came when he declared he loved the smell of his own sweat.

I ended up giving him the it's not you it's me chat & blamed it on having just come out of a relationship & needed some time on my own. He turned up at my doorstep 2 weeks later to ask if I'd had enough time on my own yet & was I ready to go out with him again 😬

Idontjetwashthefucker · 26/10/2026 13:30

Deboragh · 26/10/2026 11:59

Err , srd you supposed to force yourself to like someone just because they did something insanely selfish.

Fuck off with your comment about killing yourself being selfish, bang out of order

WitcheryDivine · 26/10/2026 13:32

I’ve probably said this before on here but after a few dates we had sex - IMMEDIATELY afterwards I realised he looked like a young David Cameron.

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 26/10/2026 13:33

My DB was totally icked out during a date with someone he was getting on really well
with.. until she got up and walked to the bathroom. Huge ‘cankles ’ and stumpy sausage toes spilling out of sandalls and with little toe touching the floor. He was gutted but just couldn’t get past it !

randomchap · 26/10/2026 13:47

At the pub she kicked off her shoes and kind of curled up on the sofa. Kept rubbing her bare feet, then ate crisps with her cheesy feet hands.

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 26/10/2026 14:01

randomchap · 26/10/2026 13:47

At the pub she kicked off her shoes and kind of curled up on the sofa. Kept rubbing her bare feet, then ate crisps with her cheesy feet hands.

My Dsd does this constantly touching her feet then face then eating with hands
revolting lol although I swear she thinks it’s Carrie Bradshaw cute lol