To be a bit miffed at my friend’s idea of a ‘takeaway night’ tomorrow

[Teriyt]

My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

Or maybe bother to bring one of these desserts if he’s so horrified by shop bought

She didn’t just “suggest” ready meals though. She bought them and expected everyone else to pay for them a) without telling anyone about the new “suggestion” and b) after they’d already agreed on takeaway!

I was invited to a friend's house for a takeaway. I went hungry expecting a feast.
Got there and the friend had already eaten, and after much rummaging found a packet of nuts in the back of the cupboard. I got a few stale nuts.

In that case why did they all agree on a plan for food in the first place? If it’s so unimportant to the evening, they could just have sat with dry toast.

Are you going there to spend time with your friends or for a culinary experience (wouldn't get the latter with a high street takeaway anyway). I'd let it go as there are more important things in life

They do t have to be mutually exclusive.

A few glasses of wine and none of you will care. Next time have everyone at your house and insist on proper takeaway. For now just be relieved that someone else has the 'oh no, I'd better tidy' problem.

'The way her face rarely moves suggests she’s got plenty of disposable cash 😂(she’ll not mind me joking about that, it’s an in joke)'

Ah well as long as she won't mind you taking the piss or mocking her in the other separate chat that's fine!

I hope she never invites any of you again.

Imo it's the company not the food that counts.

It was the cumulation! A shop bought desert on its own is forgivable. But in combination with no starters, nibbles or proper Christmas dinner it comes across as miserly

I now want curry take out for tea tonight.

Well given the poster you’re quoting has shared details of how her BIL does Christmas, I would say he HAS hosted several times.

I suspect you wanted to turn this into a “typical man - bashing the woman’s hosting but has no idea how hard it is” scenario, and are now feeling a bit foolish that you can’t.

Perhaps she doesn't have the money to pay for a proper takeaway for several people upfront. Perhaps she can't even afford just her portion of a traditional takeaway?
Perhaps she was just being prepared? She was probably in the supermarket to get the booze in anyway.
It could be anything. She is hosting, so surely be grateful for that and just have a nice night in with your mates?
You could also swing by the takeaway on your way and get a few bits to add to the spread?
This scenario is pretty outing so I can only hope that the 'friend' is not on Mumsnet.

“The way her face rarely moves suggests she’s got plenty of disposable cash” … 😂😂😂😂😂brilliant. Gonna use that one

Totally agree. Bitching about her behind her back is not friendship.
she needs better friends.

Yes exactly thank you!

We don't bother with mid morning snacks or a starter either, but we go all out for the main course. Then we are too full for pudding so we have it on Boxing Day.

Cheese and biscuits in the evening is de rigueur in our house as well.

As only DH and I eat Christmas pudding I just buy a small one. To me all Christmas puddings taste pretty much the same - bought and home made, and it really isn't worth turning the kitchen into a sauna to make one small Christmas pudding.

Back to the OP - I would have been disappointed as well. I see enjoying and evening with friends and eating good food as equally enjoyable.

I would just say “oh, ok” in a really deflated voice so she knew I was disappointed and then when she said how much it was I’d say “what for that” and just pick it over and leave it so she would feel really bad for spending other people’s money on something they didn’t ask for or want.

She really shouldn’t have done that.

Or you could just decline on the basis you don’t like it and then she can keep it as she paid for it.

yeah you don’t need to have all of it but to have none at all smacks of no effort! When I say pudding I mean genetically for dessert…although there is always a home made Christmas pudding

I prefer the ready meals because they're not as spicy, but in your case I would just bring my own takeaway anyway and explain that's what you want and what was agreed.

"She is hosting, so surely be grateful for that and just have a nice night in with your mates?"

No, because they're all paying for their own food so they have a say in what they get. If the friend was providing it then that's different.

Yes I thought this. Of course there are restaurants serving ‘authentic’ food in the UK. After all people of South Asian descent eat out, too!

But I also agree that it’s not the point, OP was really looking forward to her takeaway, whether or not it’s classic Indian cuisine.

• "**No special brekkie
• No crisps and nuts mid morning
• No starter
• A shop bought pudding
• No cheese and biscuits in the evening

"

Are these things traditional at Christmas? None of those things, apart from the shop-bought pudding have ever been part of my Christmas.

Why didn't you order a takeaway for yourself?!

Any idea what he brought to the table?

As you can see.. you and your brother are thankfully in the minority as seeing this Christmas as “sad” “miserly” because she didn’t serve up a special brekkie and has the flagrant audacity to buy in dessert and walk past the dried nuts