To be a bit miffed at my friend’s idea of a ‘takeaway night’ tomorrow

[Teriyt]

My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

Im biased because I live 5 minutes drive from the famous curry mile in Manchester. We have a wonderful assortment of ethnic restaurants all of which do take out. I would be very disappointed with a supermarket banquet if I was expecting a proper take out from a proper Indian restaurant. Supermarket meals may be ok in their place and cheaper but there is no substitute for a genuine Indian meal.

Text her that you are disappointed because you planned a genuine Indian meal and you don't want to settle for supermarket food. Suggest she puts them in her freezer and that you would prefer to stick to the original plan or cancel.

Yes but hopefully not to bitch behind the back of another friend who had invited you to her home

It has already happened.

Surely the purpose is a nice evening together, and the reason takeaway was suggested was to save her cooking. Her suggestion achieves both of those things.

for Goodness sake people! You don’t cancel on seeing a friend because the food isn’t to your liking. More to life than food

@Cherrytree86 , if OP had cancelled it would have been on the grounds that her friend had decided what food her friends would pay for and eat when they had already chosen something else.

Imagine if I invited you to my place and we'd get pizzas and extras from that excellent pizza delivery you love, but I nipped to Tesco and got us basic margheritas instead and expected you to pay for yours.

Food can be part of a nice evening/meet up. The posts start on boxing day, about what people were served/or the criticisms about what they served over Christmas and posters all agree that food matters. Me and my DD get a Indian takeaway when we meet at her house, she doesn't like it two days running and my DP can't eat Indian, so the food part is something we look forward to. It's ok to be looking forward to food. That's why restaurants exsist, even though it's a family meet up. Ready meals don't compare to properly cooked food. Our local takeaways are from restaurants. Not all of us live near bad takeaways. I've found this thread strange because MN is usually so anti ready meals. Supermarkets do a complete Christmas dinner, I suppose everyone would be happy with that served to them? After all it's about seeing family and friends.

It’s so true - I commented this earlier but I very much fall in the camp of food is part of creating the atmosphere and making it a nice occasion. I will never forget the sad Christmas my brother described as his SILs.

• No special brekkie
• No crisps and nuts mid morning
• No starter
• A shop bought pudding
• No cheese and biscuits in the evening

Just a sad roast chicken for lunch made “special” by the addition of a couple of shop bought pigs in blankets. It just wasn’t Christmas and no celebratory atmosphere at all - if you offer to host, you HOST. Otherwise don’t bother and let someone who wants to make the effort do it.

@AllIwantForChrismasIsAKitchenAidStandMixer , I'm sure your brother hosts a wonderful Christmas and makes the best home-made Christmas pudding.

Yes he does actually - he makes a Christmas pudding every year and at least one other dessert and is usually in charge of the turkey as well. What’s your point exactly?

And yet you convey the Christmas your brother hosted his family as some kind of Ebeneezer Scrooge type affair. “Sad” “No celebratory atmosphere”…

No I was talking about my brother’s SIL - his wife’s sister!

He was bitching about his SIL’s Christmas that she hosted him? Nice.

No thats when he went somewhere else

But she didn’t host that’s exactly my point. She made very little effort. If you don’t want to do it then don’t bother offering it makes it miserable for everyone. The same as the friend in this story - if she didn’t want to host a take away night, don’t suggest it.

• **No special brekkie
• No crisps and nuts mid morning
• No starter
• A shop bought pudding
• No cheese and biscuits in the evening

he bitches about a shop bought pudding speaks volumes.

Of what? That he doesn’t want to eat processed crap? I don’t eat shop bought puddings either - they grim and aren’t worth the calories quite frankly

It could be finances ,it costs a lot for a takeaway these days

Nor do I ever buy them
but my god someone serve me a shop bought pudding, I’d be happy to eat it. Some amazing ones in marks and Waitrose atm!!

@AllIwantForChrismasIsAKitchenAidStandMixer

maybe your SIL has a life? And doesn’t want spend it chained to the sink in the kitchen?

starter is completely unnecessary. And homemade pudding isn’t necessarily always nicer than shop bought

Exactly
exactly

We can disagree, I don’t think spending time cooking for loved ones means you don’t have a life, quite the opposite - but it’s not hosting whichever way you slice it. Which is fine by the way but you shouldn’t offer if you can’t actually be bothered to do it properly. Just like the friend in the op.

Buying a shop bought Christmas dessert does not mean you don’t give a toss 🙄

He could host in future.

Yes, agree - I refer @Teriyt to my post above. I think OP’s friend may actually have money issues that she is reluctant to talk about.