To consider moving to private school because my 6 year old is doing ‘okay’?

[naturalstressor]

‘OK’ sort of sums it up. He’s ’in the middle, but towards the lower end of it.’ He’s getting a bit of extra support with phonics, maths is ‘OK’ and behaviour is good.

I do feel like he’s slumping behind a bit and keen to support him but I really am doing everything I can at home.

I am considering whether to move him to private school. It would be a huge financial burden but I really want to help him. I feel like he is underachieving but isn’t weak enough to warrant a lot of extra input.

@Raindropskeepfallingon look, I think this will probably be my last post here because I am finding the insinuations that it’s me with the problem, I’m upset / angry / disappointed with him, he’s doing fine and is only underachieving in the sense that he isn’t doing as well as I’d like him to a bit upsetting and as such not helpful.

From my point of view, I go to a parents evening, I’ve read with him every day, both him reading to me and me reading to him, I’ve helped him with maths and done the little homework set with him. And I’m told he is ‘quite behind where we’d like him to be’ he is ‘not on track to pass the phonics screening at the moment’ and he is in intervention groups. Maths is ‘OK, but still needing a lot of extra support.’

This isn’t the first parents evening I’ve had with this sort of message and it does worry me. It isn’t that I don’t think he’s great. It’s that I DO think he’s great.

If, as you say, you are doing everything you can, and he has an intervention happening at school, I doubt there is anything magical that a private school can achieve for a child of this age.
I'd just keep going with fun activities/learning opportunities and confidence boosting.
Have you looked at BBC Bitesize?

Six is very young. In my long teaching career I"ve seen children who struggled at 6 flying high by 10. It just takes them longer to get going( especially boys!). Read with him , do 5 minutes phonics a day. Practice his maths around the house by sending him for 4 plates and 2 cups and the wondering how many things you have altogether etc.
Do not get him a tutor .
I cant see any advantage to a private school. Some parents at these are fiercely competitive. You dont want to get involved in that.
And try not to worry. Honestly most children with supportive parents like you find their way.

Get a tutor if you are that concerned. The tutor will also be able to tell you if he’s struggling or doing ok because of his natural ability or the teaching. And whichever one it is they can give extra help to suit him. I wouldn’t do private if you will find it a struggle. You have to think of the long term affect on your family, and if one of you had to give up work, needed to take time off or lost your job. And what you would go without, like family holidays and things.

Thanks for that very kind message @Pingsung . I just want to do everything I can to support him!

Hes 6 , why do people keep suggesting a tutor. Poor child.

I understand your worries, in primary school my daughter was at the lower end of attainment. She was one of a small group of children who had one to one lessons in the classroom. I continued to praise every achievement, big or small to build her confidence. Another important factor was reading with her and encouraging her to love reading. In year eight of high school my daughter moved up to set 2. She is in year 9 now and is in set 1. To say I’m proud of her is an understatement. Give your son time, encouragement and lots of praise, he may surprise you

Is he bright enough to do well at private school?

Er you don’t have to be bright to go to all
private schools…

@naturalstressorI would look at a tutor next year if he won’t do any extra work with you.

Okay is perfectly fine. 🤷🏻‍♀️ At 6, I was okay as well. Not particularly bright or talented in any way. I only really started to shine the latter half of secondary school. Finished top of my year and I now have a PhD and a successful 20 year career behind me in academia. I wasn’t great at 6 though. Private school does not necessarily have the same standards or oversight as state school. I’d carry on as you are. Maybe his thing is cricket or building stuff or cooking or mountain biking. It may not be academics. It’s fine to be just okay in school.

You can’t buy brains. If you think he needs extra support get him a tutor.

Depends how much you can afford. I wouldn’t bother for primary. Focus on KS4, then KS3, then KS5, then primary.

Go and buy a book called ‘ Toe by toe’ . Do it religiously with him 5 afternoons a week.

On the one hand, he's 6. On the other hand, you're right if he gets behind now, it's harder to catch up.

Be brutally honest, how much are you doing over and above what's school homework?

I'd try a tutor first before paying for private.

I wish people would stop suggesting a tutor at 6 years old. Some children take a while for the key to turn and for them to take off. His mum is obviously supporting him at home and he's doing interventions at school. If you push too much at this age children can shut down completely because they cant yet access the learning. This doesnt mean they won't ever they might just take longer.
We start our formal education at a ridiculously young age and children are not one size fits all material.

That’s always what put me off tutors @Pingsung . I didn’t really know it was a thing for this age but maybe it is!

We had this with my eldest we couldn’t afford private but scraped enough together for a tutor in maths and English, it did wonders just the little extra help pushed him and by SATS he was GDS and is now in top set for everything at high school.

You would be better off getting a tutor for him. Private school isn't going to make much of a difference and it's not unusual for children to get a tutor at this age.

Im surprised at all the people suggesting it for an infant school aged child. Its not something I've come across . Most parents want their children to have time to play after school.

My daughter was put in intervention groups at year 1, people were pleasantly surprised she passed her phonics test and at year 3 got greater depth in her reading, writing and maths in her report. Not top of the class but certainly doing respectably now now. At some point in year 2 it started to click and she just grew in confidence from there.

Struggling? Or just being himself at this stage of his life?
School is giving him good input that is appropriate for him and he is happy.
It sounds like a good scenario to me.
Children develop at different rates and he needs to be himself and grow into learning in his own way.
He is happy. Believe me, having a child who is unhappy at school brings the whole family down. Be happy for him.

Education is not a race ... it is a gentle drawing out of a child's potential in a way that is responsive to who they really are and not who we might want them to be. (or what Gove decided they should be ....)

Your "enrichment" out of school should simply be fun that gives him opportunities to explore, to go down sidetracks and rabbit holes and follow what interests him.
Be very wary of your concern that academic achievement is needed to reach happiness.
Tread gently with this developing young person. The lead needs to come from him.

Christ he’s only 6. Give him a chance.

@Pingsungin my area tutoring is incredibly common

My dd struggled through primary school, diagnosed with dyslexia at 6, had specific help out of school for 2 years but still wasn’t doing well, age 13 something clicked got decent GCSE’s though not stellar, 4 a level la at a or s star, degree in a particularly difficult subject and a very complex job… at 6 I would have said she was failing, as an adult she’s definitely a winner, just bought a house with no help from me too

OP, I put my DC through private school after returning to the UK. It was a good school. However, honestly I don't think it was worth it. My DC did well, but I think that was down to DH and I, not the school. A lot of my DC's peers did not do well in their GCSE's and A'levels. A private school does not mean that your DC will do well. It is just a school with a bit of a nicer atmosphere and smaller class sizes.

My youngest didn't want to stay at their 6th form for many reasons, so he moved to our local great state school. My goodness, as soon as he did he went off like a rocket in his academics and he made lots of lovely friends. The teachers were much better. They are more professional and actually care about the kids. I can't believe the attitude of some of the teachers at our private school.

With hindsight on my side, I wish I'd sent them to the local state schools with tutoring 1-1. My DC did really well, better than their peers, but that is because I have never fully trusted a school to take responsibility for my DC, that is on me and DH. I sent my DC to Kumon (not UK) then had my DC tutored in maths in the UK from year 5 through to GCSE and A'level. Both came out with GCSE grade 9 and A'level A*. I also had my eldest have some Chemistry tutoring and both my DC had 10 weeks of language boost before GCSE. The private school couldn't actually get them to their full potential despite the £££££ it cost.

Honestly, save your money. Get them a tutor 1-1 in your house or online from a good company. It will do way more than a private school.

You will still get issues at a private school. Different ones, but still issues. I found the parents extremely snobby and entitled with people thinking they could jump sets, get on sports teams and get the best parts in plays because they were 'well to do' and you know what, the heads appeased them because they often had 3 kids and threatened to take them out.

Honestly, my kids are A* students but it was the tutoring that did it, not the private school.