To consider moving to private school because my 6 year old is doing ‘okay’?

[naturalstressor]

‘OK’ sort of sums it up. He’s ’in the middle, but towards the lower end of it.’ He’s getting a bit of extra support with phonics, maths is ‘OK’ and behaviour is good.

I do feel like he’s slumping behind a bit and keen to support him but I really am doing everything I can at home.

I am considering whether to move him to private school. It would be a huge financial burden but I really want to help him. I feel like he is underachieving but isn’t weak enough to warrant a lot of extra input.

If it would be a huge financial burden then no. It only gets more expensive as they get older. 6 is very young to be worrying about his academic achievements. If you’re really concerned you could hire a tutor as he gets older, but for now just focus on making learning fun. Do as much reading and everyday maths stuff with him as you can.

He's 6, give him a chance FGS.

He’s 6!! Let him be more than his school report

So in your experience of struggling six year olds do they suddenly stop struggling when they are say ten? I am genuinely asking that question, I don’t know as my worry is he’ll fall a little behind every year until we get to a point where it’s kind of hard to catch up.

Another 'He's 6' here!

Is he bright enough to do well at private school? It may not be the school that’s the problem. He could just be taking longer to pick things up. Is academic achievement important to you? Is he happy, does he have friends? Does he enjoy other things?
Given that he’s 6 I think it’s too soon to tell how well he will do at school. You’ll need to factor in around 10% fee increase each year for private school, can you afford this?

I mean if you want to and you can afford it, why not I suppose. But for a 6 year old I'd be happy as long as he's happy in school, making progress and enjoying learning.

Why would you consider a private school over get a tutor first? Or helping him yourself? He's 6...

He’s only six, you’re doing everything you can at home, school is offering him extra support, his behaviour is good and he’s doing ok. Have you considered he might just be achieving what he’s capable of at the moment and that’s ok?

I’d be more worried about is he happy and does he have friends? There’s nothing magic private school is going to do with phonics and reading that you can’t replicate at home.

I would never put a child in private school at early primary stage if it’s already a financial stretch - it’s a long haul.

@REDB99 he seems happy enough, but I do think some achievement is necessary for future happiness. It’s all very well people shouting that he’s six, but if he isn’t getting the basics in reading and maths that’s just storing problems for the future. If his reading is difficult age six I don’t magically see it improving age twelve but like I say maybe I’m wrong.

I would consider a tutor but it seems overkill for this age. I’m more wondering if he just needs a smaller class size and more individual attention. I was planning on sending him private at eleven anyway.

It doesn't necessarily work like that at all. Some children just need to mature, give things a chance to click. Progress isn't going to be completely linear and steady throughout his school career.

My son struggled a bit in infants, was so busy trying to navigate the complexity of school, friendships, teachers etc. he so wanted to do well and tried so hard. He was middling to lower.
juniors. Whole different ball game, absolutely flew, top sets. Special classes with extension work. Consistently working above expectations.

don’t jump yet. Enrich his life by spending that money on extra stuff, beavers, travel to look at the stuff he’s doing at school. Museums do loads of extra holiday stuff. Get him out finding his thing and his subjects.

I think boys can struggle a little bit more, I’m sure I remember some of the Nordic countries have studies on it - other countries only just have them starting school at 6.

That’s what I mean, it was a genuine question. It may be it all falls into place but it also may not. I just really want to help him and every parents evening have I feel very underwhelmed and as if he’s just sort of scraping by, is the impression I have.

Yep, they can and do catch up. They can indeed go from behind and struggling to greater deorh and thriving . HTH

He is 6. He will be fine.

I hate to break it to people, but not every kid will be in the top 10%. Mathematically this is just not possible.

Doing ok - is just fine! Give him a chance and don't pile pressure on the young man to be something he may not be.

Foster a love of learning (much more useful in life) and enjoy your child without comparing him to everyone around him. Ensure he's happy, nurture him, have fun with him, enjoy his company! Don't judge him as failing just because he is not in the top 10%.

Well, it doesn’t really, and I don’t think it was attempting to.

I am a bit lost as to why this question has provoked such angry responses. Maybe I should just shrug and say I don’t give a shit because he’s only six? Would that go down better?

One of the things that concerns me is I literally can’t do much more in terms of enrichment and helping him myself, so if I’m / we’re doing all that and he’s still underachieving it is a bit troubling.

In many countries he wouldn’t be in school yet and those nations seem to do just fine.

Some kids need a bit longer to mature, some it takes a while for concepts to be solid, others will do “ok” because that’s their level of capability. The more fun, play based learning you can do with him the better.

I don't see how a private school is going to make a big difference. Maybe the class sizes are smaller and behaviour is better which would help a bit. I have a 10 year old who is doing great at school. It came easy to her from a young age and she has a thirst for learning. My 6 year old boy is struggling with poor attention span, literacy difficulties and has problems with his working memory. I am a primary school teacher myself and I try to work with him in the evenings but he finds it very difficult to focus and retain information. A different school is not going to change his ability. I agree with other posters that a tutor where he can get one to one support tailored to his areas of difficulties would be much more beneficial however at 6 it isn't really necessary especially if you are working with him at home.

At 6, my August born boy was in year 2 and still struggling to blend words to read them. I was getting quite worried. We have just today got his gcse predicted grades for next year and he’s predicted As in English. How they are doing at 6 is definitely not always an indicator for how they will be doing in 4 or 8 years time

I would absolutely give him time and not move schools yet. 6 is very young.

My daughter was “emerging” in Reception (August birthday.) In year 6 she got almost top marks in 2 of her SATs, and above average banding in the third.

He’s really young and he’s doing OK. I wouldn’t put yourself under financial stress. Save and do it for secondary or “A” levels, when it matters more how he does.

Maybe take the pressure of him, and you. Of course support him and engage him in learning but describing a 6 year old as underachieving feels quite harsh when he’s learning at his own pace. It’s not a reflection on you or your parenting that he needs time.

@EatMoreChocolate44 it may not. I don’t know. But I do know it would be a smaller class size, there probably wouldn’t be as many distractions, there would be more individual input to help him catch up.

Maybe that wouldn’t help, I don’t know, but have to admit I’m slightly losing faith in current school.

I’m only repeating what I’ve been told, I’m not casting any judgement on him myself. Of course I think he’s amazing

Is he a summer born? Can you work with your child at home? It makes a massive difference, and you can control how fun you want to make it for him.
In my experience going private in early years really gave my child a good stepping stone and confidence, but if you're dedicated you can achieve a lot of it at home as well. You just need to do it consistently and keep your patience, make it a short routine each day.

Unless he was truly bright and was going to catch up later at some point anyways, starting now will give him lots of confidence and help him keep up or ahead. It builds up to years later. This was the case for my child who goes to a very academic school now. I wouldn't rely solely on the school, state or private.

But you did ask? And people have given you their opinions which are mostly no, for various reasons.

But if what you want is the blessing of a bunch of strangers on the internet to put your kid in private school, I’ll give it to you. You have my blessing.

On a serious note - if you can afford it there are many good things about private school. Statistically the single biggest thing you can do to improve your childs chances academically is a smaller class size. So whilst he’s not guaranteed better grades, private won’t hurt. Also if you want to go private from 11, most privates are academically selective at 11+. So if he’s middling by state school standards (and many privates are educating academically a year ahead by 11) it’s unlikely he’d get in which could be a bigger barrier to your longterm game plan and enough of a reason alone to move him sooner.