Friend left before paying her round.

[Sophiehoney]

Hi everyone,
I need a sanity check on a situation from my local tonight, as DH and I are completely disagreeing on this.
We were out at the pub with a large group of 9 people. We were drinking in rounds. 7 people had bought a round, and it was down to either this one woman, let's call her Sarah, or one other person next.
Suddenly, Sarah announced she had to leave immediately because her babysitter had an issue and needed to go. She said a quick goodbye to everyone and dashed out. However, she didn’t mention the rounds at all, didn't offer to leave any cash, and didn't mention sending a bank transfer to cover her share. She had consumed several free drinks at this point.
After she left, the rest of the group talked about it and everyone agreed it was incredibly rude to "ghost" the round like that, especially when she’d benefited from 7 other people paying.
When DH and I got home, he said the group was being far too harsh on her because it was a childcare emergency and her mind was probably all over the place. I disagree, I think even in a rush, you could text the group chat from the taxi to offer to send money or even just acknowledge it in some way before you leave by saying you will sort it next time. Leaving the remaining people to cover the deficit feels out of order.
So, AIBU? Was she a CF, or should she get a free pass because of the babysitter emergency?

My cynical side just says that the later in the evening that people buy rounds - in general - there are usually fewer people wanting a drink so therefore the later round-buyers tend to get away with spending less money, and I think some people purposely hang back from buying rounds for this reason, iyswim. This may or may not be true of your friend, only you know what they are usually like in buying rounds on your night out. If she continually sits back whilst others buy rounds, on most nights out, then I’d see this as a bit of a calculated cf behaviour if this her usual pattern. If it’s not and she’s usually all in on buying rounds then I think this time probably doesn’t matter, because surely in a group that meets this regularly (weekly at least?), it all evens out in the end? Otherwise it all just sounds slightly transactional.

I find the opposite, people often start having doubles and shots etc.

Does she do this regularly? Or is it a one off ?I used to know someone who does this sort of thing regularly she will get the coffees next time can you pick a few bits up or the takeaway on your way round she will settle up later but never does. She’s trying to hide the fact she’s up to her eyes in debt and broke

Jesus Christ! I’d be pissed by number 4, and throwing up by 6 or 7. And that would be over the course of a night, not a two hour brunch. I could drink a lot in my 20s but alas, no longer! Two or three is my limit now.

Right, but I'm not talking about coffee, am I?

1)I can't believe I need to explain this but your "here" and my "here" and OP's "here" aren't all necessarily the same place, with the same costs.

2. Even in your "here" drinks don't cost the same everywhere. In my city you can get a pint in wetherspoons for £2, in the independent brewery two doors down it's about £8.

3. OP said she was drinking halves. I don't care where you live, that's not going to be more than a fiver most places.

Have you never drunk anywhere other than the one pub in your home town or something?

7 drinks in one night?
I’d have been so sick and for a week afterwards.

Doesn’t anyone have to drive the next morning?

So, this woman managed to accept 7 drinks from other people in the space of a couple of hours? Really?

Are you sure she hadn't declined in some rounds and just had say, 2 drinks?

Then you say she supposedly had to dash home to deal with children after 7 drinks? I hope she was walking!

What the hell are you all putting back at that rate - tequila shots? Surely you're not having 7 glasses of wine, or pints, or G&Ts? Twice a week you all do this? Blimey.

Anyway, this aside, if this woman did indeed let 7 people buy her a drink (!!!) and then suddenly dashed off, well yes, this is obviously the height of rudeness. Unless she's falling over herself to get everyone drinks next week, stop inviting her out. This is ridiculous.

This. If she does it regularly then you should get her to buy the first round next time.and make.it clear you know what she's up to. If it was a genuine emergency, and she's not a regular offender, then I wouldn't give it a second thought and would agree with your husband.

Split between 9 is a hard choice because who decides whos next?

I would absolutely 100000% drink 9 drinks on a night out - but really you only paid for 1 of hers and you got 7 back at least, I'm going to assume the other person paid for your next round whoever decided they would be last?

I've never been out where such a large group took it in turns after 5/6 it's whoever goes up next is fair game or by then it's normally 'I'm off to grab another anyone want?' and the other 6-7 people will still have a half of w/e to drink

Smaller group I could understand or leaving mid-meal, but in a large group eh, unless she has history I wouldn't lose my mind over buying her one drink