Friend left before paying her round.

[Sophiehoney]

Hi everyone,
I need a sanity check on a situation from my local tonight, as DH and I are completely disagreeing on this.
We were out at the pub with a large group of 9 people. We were drinking in rounds. 7 people had bought a round, and it was down to either this one woman, let's call her Sarah, or one other person next.
Suddenly, Sarah announced she had to leave immediately because her babysitter had an issue and needed to go. She said a quick goodbye to everyone and dashed out. However, she didn’t mention the rounds at all, didn't offer to leave any cash, and didn't mention sending a bank transfer to cover her share. She had consumed several free drinks at this point.
After she left, the rest of the group talked about it and everyone agreed it was incredibly rude to "ghost" the round like that, especially when she’d benefited from 7 other people paying.
When DH and I got home, he said the group was being far too harsh on her because it was a childcare emergency and her mind was probably all over the place. I disagree, I think even in a rush, you could text the group chat from the taxi to offer to send money or even just acknowledge it in some way before you leave by saying you will sort it next time. Leaving the remaining people to cover the deficit feels out of order.
So, AIBU? Was she a CF, or should she get a free pass because of the babysitter emergency?

do you all drink at the same speed - 9 rounds taking turns sounds painful - relax the approach

When I'm out with a crowd I buy my own drink.

ExDH and I had a friend who would always conveniently manage to miss his round, so in the end we would leave him out altogether or insist that he get the first round in.

If she regularly does this, I can why you're annoyed. If it's the first time, you're being very petty, and I'd be thinking you actually don't like her much for other reasons.

Do you and your DH buy separate rounds?

How did she rush off home?
Tell us she wasn't driving?

If it's a twice weekly thing, can't she just make it up next time? I don't understand why you're so wound up about one round of drinks with someone you apparently drink with regularly.

I’d not be sending a message asking for a fiver I’d say - sorry you had to leave x picked up your round and you owe them £xx on the group chat
people like this taking the piss really annoy me!

Nine drinks has been a real distraction in this thread. I like a few drinks but I'd be reeling after seven. maybe she went outside to throw up

But back to the principle which is the point of the thread. No people should not accept drinks from multiple rounds if they know they aren't going to partake in the round-buying. Buying a later round is generally a cheaper deal anyway as some will say no, or just a water this time etc. There are some exceptions so at our work drinks there's a hierarchy where the most senior person buys the first couple of rounds. But friends out together it should be equal.

If I'm not staying long I'll choose to opt out of the round and buy my own, unless someone insists they want to get me one, knowing I won't be around to buy one back.

If she did get caught out with childcare and had to rush off think that's ok as long as she doesn't do this "rushing off" habitually. Hopefully she'll do the decent thing and buy the first round next quiz.

So does she have form for this?

Would you really say that?

Yes if they dodged a round of drinks at £50 or so I absolutely would

I know that, but 9 adults who want to drink that in the pub mid-week is probably not so common. I nearly said on a school night!
When I say adults i obviously mean beyond student years, as I know Wednesday is a big drinking night at universities - though also not so much buying rounds in the pub.

Why wouldn't my friend and her kids be OK? Her babysitter had to leave early, that's all. Did you read the OP?

You said “the babysitter had an issue” and she had to leave. I would check in with her today to see if she’s ok. And I wouldn’t be bashing her in her absence as soon as she leaves the pub. If this pub quiz is a weekly event, can she not just pick up the next round next week. It doesn’t sound like the nicest bunch of people tbh

Perhaps she panicked realising the cost of the round would be huge and she’d just looked at her bank balance.

I said:

"her babysitter had an issue and needed to go."

Her babysitter needed to leave. So friend had to go so that babysitter could leave. Friend was fine. Her kids were fine.

Don't accept drinks from others if you aren't able to return the favour.
It's perfectly fine to say "I'm only going to have one, so I'll just buy my own, but thanks"
You don't accept seven free drinks then bail because you can't afford your round.

Ok fine, you slag her off in the pub to your heart’s content then. You sound nice

Yes I agree but seven drinks may have skewed her moral compass.

Unless this was a pattern with her I couldn’t be bothered to get worked up over it.

If you're at the pub with this group twice a week I dont understand why one round is such a palaver.

Does she do this a lot? If so I could see why you might be a bit annoyed.

But otherwise surely she just gets the first round in next time?

If you're split between two quiz teams then msybe it would work better if you had 2 separate rounds going?

Weird that it didn't skew it enough to NOT have 7 drinks, it only conveniently skewed it when it was her turn to pay!

Amazing timing

Jesus this is like pulling teeth!

Does she have form for this OP?