To think Meghan Markle isn’t the problem, it’s Harry?

[WryJadeWren]

I don’t understand why Meghan is so often treated as the driving force behind everything people dislike about them, while Harry is portrayed as some helpless man who’s been led astray.

He’s a grown man with his own opinions and the ability to make his own decisions. It’s his family and presumably he has far more history with them than she does. Why is the assumption that she’s manipulated him, rather than that he has his own grievances and is doing what he wants?

You don’t have to like Meghan to recognise that Harry is responsible for his own behaviour. I actually find him more irritating, particularly the impression he gives that everyone else is responsible for his unhappiness.

AIBU to think she gets a disproportionate amount of the blame, while he gets far too much benefit of the doubt?

Why would either of them be a problem? They are just people going about their lives like everyone else. I think people who get fixated on what they are doing or not doing probably live lonely boring lives so they enjoy the gossip about people they don't know.

I think he meant her dad shared the private letter with the press but he wouldn’t have been in a position to extract money from this had she not married someone so high profile ergo, it’s “his” fault.

Nope. After 14 pages I still have absolutely no idea what it is that Meghan has actually, objectively, been proven to have done that is so heinous to have warranted the amount of vitriol she receives.

I couldn't care less about their public spat with the royals. All families have skeletons in the closet - the RF probably more than most, since well before the Princes were murdered in the Tower by Richard III.

Raising children in a toxic environment leads to toxic relationships. I have no particular animosity towards any of them - all accidents of birth. But the British obsession with them is utterly exhausting.

And it's only a matter of time before Prince Louis receives the same treatment as Harry imo. He's already being labelled as the naughty/ weird misfit.

I think a large part of the obsession with the kids not being real is the hope that they will divorce and Harry can come back to his ' real' Family. The problem is he has children, so if the kids arent'real' he can ditch them too.

By letter I mean the letter about TM to Met police not the letter from M to TM.
My point being - M cut off her Dad at the time of her wedding and the letter to the Met police came weeks or months later.
So she didn’t cut her Dad out of her life because of the police letter as she did that before the letter to police was sent.

Because he was selling stories about her to the press. He's been going to Thailand since she was a child. Maybe he had suspicions or there were rumours but no ' proof' but something unsavoury. The whole family are dodgy and toxic with so many children removed from them and so many estrangements there must have been something very unsavoury going on with them.

Blimey! People need better hobbies!

Now there's that same phrase exactly about Prince Louis again! How strange 🧐

Yes I agree - it's crazy that this is done behind closed doors but it's bound up with hundreds of years of tradition. That said, you don't go on global TV to take the piss out of the very establishment that gave you so much money and fame unless you don't mind being called a traitor. Why on earth are they trying to get back in to the fold if they hate it so much??? Oh wait, is it because they are running out of money as all their US projects have failed? How disgusting. How lacking in integrity! They made their bed and now they have to lie in it.

No that's not the case at all. I can't be bothered with gossip per se as I have an extremely busy life but anyone who's been in a coercively controlled relationship recognises the multiple red flags surrounding Meghan's behaviour and gets triggered sufficiently to speak out. I don't much follow what they are doing these days as don't have time but enjoy reading the various threads on MN and feel moved to respond to people who just don't understand why people (rightly) speak out against her. She is toxic.

I agree to a degree but think it’s wise to wait until more information/evidence comes to light - I’m not depending on The Sun or M for the facts - trial and jury of her father.
I do believe the timeline of these events will come back to bite her though regardless of the outcome of the investigations - let’s not forget up to meeting H (and in fact up to the wedding) he was her adored Daddy.
In my opinion he didn’t fit her new narrative once engaged and I believe if she’d really wanted him at her wedding he would have been there - M is very determined.
Remember the incriminating letter to the Met police arrived weeks or months after the wedding (she’d cut him out of her life at the time of her wedding) there are other comments by HaM after the police letter date which do not fit either.
The timeline of these events is a real problem for M.

I always think people forget that 35 years ago the public hated Diana as much as they hate Megan now. Much of the narrative directed at Megan was directed at Diana. It’s copy and paste.
Then she died and everyone pretended they had always loved and idolised her.
The peasants rewriting history to make themselves feel better for being bullies fuelled by the manipulating media machine.

As much as there is a problem, it is baldy Bill and the rest of the royal family.

I like her. Nothing she's done has caused me or my family any issues. She can hardly make that family more dysfunctional or toxic, can she. She makes a refreshing change to the clothes horse Dianna or the twit Sarah or any of the others, Catherine excepted of course.
I'm sure the compensation of having a super attractive wife and living with the mother to his children and a wife who actually has opinions and a life and supports him, is enough compensation to get Harry through the day.
She's actually way out of his league, but I suppose being a Prince helps in these matters.

Indeed. I agree.

Maybe. There’s a whole media industry here in UK, based on how stupid Trump and his supporters are though. At least they can (eventually) get rid of their pompous, self righteous and despotic leaders though. We seem stuck with our unelected ones.

I suspect Harry, encouraged by Meghan thought he was something without the RF, and Meghan convinced herself and him that he was their route to fame. But Harry has found to his shock, that those people bowing and scraping to him weren't doing it because he's so amazing but because he was Royal, and Meghan has realised she married a dud. But all of the RF are that. Ordinary people given extraordinary privilege that they neither earn or deserve. Harry has found out the hard way that being a Royal is all he has going for him. I doubt they are running out of money. Don't they have 3 houses?

Anyone wonder if this was the real reason they returned to the UK?

You're not recognizing any red flags you are being fed rage bait and clickbait by media who relies on people like you to read the article or click on a video. You don't know these people in real life at all you just are being fed little clips of so-called scandalous information about them.

Nobody knows either of them and who knows what goes on behind the scenes. However, what I didn't like in that Oprah interview some years ago, was Meghan's insinuation that someone in the RF was racist regarding the potential skin colour of their children. I mean, either name and shame who it is, or say nothing. Put up or shut up basically, if you're going to make claims like that. Otherwise the whole family are implicated and it's not fair as they can't answer to the accusation. People will obviously assume it's William, but maybe it was some side - or anyone? We will never know, if indeed it happened at all. It's very calculated and insidious on the Sussex's part - also cowardly. I thought that was awful and as for Oprah feigning shock and all the "there was a conversation' - urgghhh.

I think she's a very beautiful woman and so she is well used to the Hollywood culture of sycophancy and anyone and everyone falling over themselves to pander to her. It's all very navel-gazing. But this is her normal, I suppose. It just doesn't really translate in the same way in the U.K.

I think Harry was tempted by that life for a while, but let's face it, there's probably only so many dinner parties with the Clooney's or Oprah you can go to before life might start to feel a bit vapid. He has thrown his toys out if the pram with his tell all book etc. Maybe fearing he is now being forgotten and becoming somewhat irrelevant, he is back. He may have started to feel he was denying his children their birthright, or something along those lines.

The worst thing with MM was when she stood in an orphanage on their African tour and said something like 'I am one of you,' to the girls there. I mean, just shut up Meghan. My daughters are half-Indian but 'European-passing' in looks, and the thought of them, standing on a podium in India, claiming that they understand racism in the same way as one if the girls there; or that they understand poverty like s child in an orphanage is just sickening. I mean, what planet is this woman on?

However, if her father is now turning out to be a paedophile, I feel very sorry for her in this respect and can see why she cut contact with him before the wedding. Imagine if that had got out to the press at the time.

You say nobody knows what goes on behind the scenes and then imvent an entire narrative based on nothing.

I think the problem might actually be Thomas Snr.

I think people do blame him. Most seem to think he is dumb.

I suppose people see him as having mainly got on with his family until she came along. And a lot of people tend to see such an extreme break from family as a bad thing unless their are extenuating circumstances.

Initially I thi k a good number thought there were extenuating circumstances. Now people are more likely to think she is the issue.

Any man who spends alot of time in Vietnam holidaying alone and then retires to the Philippines and is estranged from their daughter and other family would raise huge red flags in any circumstances, to me. Maybe unfair, maybe he has an interest in French colonial power in Asia and likes to visit historic sites. But probably not.
But I'm with Megan. She's a bit too American and touchy and about feelings for Britain, but she is who she is.

@Sewingbeedamned
Equally lots of men are negatively influenced by wives and mothers. I can think of one man who has never had a falling out with his father but is no contact because he still lives with his mother and she is a real piece of work who can’t get over his father leaving her. The father and son had a good relationship left when the son was an adult, paid all the bills until the house was sold and accepted an unfavourable divorce settlement to make sure the son wasn’t impacted. There is no reason for the lack of contact other than the fact that the son is terrified of upsetting his mother. Maybe he should toughen up but there are many in a similar situation who choose the easy life. A family member has recently married a wife who has caused him to distance himself from the rest of the family. She is the problem here as she has strained relationships with her own family. Some men just go along with things for an easy life.