To think Meghan Markle isn’t the problem, it’s Harry?

[WryJadeWren]

I don’t understand why Meghan is so often treated as the driving force behind everything people dislike about them, while Harry is portrayed as some helpless man who’s been led astray.

He’s a grown man with his own opinions and the ability to make his own decisions. It’s his family and presumably he has far more history with them than she does. Why is the assumption that she’s manipulated him, rather than that he has his own grievances and is doing what he wants?

You don’t have to like Meghan to recognise that Harry is responsible for his own behaviour. I actually find him more irritating, particularly the impression he gives that everyone else is responsible for his unhappiness.

AIBU to think she gets a disproportionate amount of the blame, while he gets far too much benefit of the doubt?

The royal aides do a good job of sanitising the image of any royal. Charles wasn't always this cuddly but regal granddad we see now, he was moody, jealous and petty but he was rehabilitated in the press. They did the same with Harry, and once he was responsible for his own image, it became a lot clearer who he actually is.

That said she comes across as having an awful lot of delusional self-belief in her own talent and value, so the two of them trigger each other into a sort of escalating but grabby unpleasantness.

So did Diana and her siblings though. It’s well known that Diana would stop talking to people for long periods of time so I don’t think she can be blamed for that.

I do think it’s unfair to blame her though. He isn’t very bright but he’s an adult who has made shitty decisions. Then ironically he goes on film to moan about how his family don’t speak to him - largely because he keeps giving interviews and writing books about them.

He thought he could make it as a celeb but outside of the royal revelations, there is nothing.

You opened your DH’s eyes about how awful is family is, when he was perfectly happy with them before? Well, I bet his family just LOVES you!

I've disliked Harry for ages - ever since the nazi uniform incident, and my opinion of him as a person got gradually worse with every new incident after that. I have no beef with Megan at all. I do think she is utterly fake, but so are William and Kate.

Crikey. Where have you been for the last few years?!

Meghan's general attitude should be mocked, that's for sure! Who slags off their partners family publicly? And why on earth does she want to rejoin the Royal family if they're so bad? She's an absolute hypocrite!

I don't care where they live as private citizens but they want to be faux royals. I don't agree tax payers money should be spent on them in any way including having to have additional police because they announce to press where they will be and additional police have to attend in case of any trouble.

Im really really over this whole "she had a voice" tripe she was a tv actress she wasnt an ambassador a public speaker a political firebrand she worked on a popular tv show that a lot of us had never seen 🙄

Harry has let Meghan think that his family really were concerned about the skin colour of their children. Whilst I’m sure they did comment, as relatives of mixed children do, I just do not believe they are so grossly racist as to be bothered. Harry reported the comments to Meghan and either encouraged or allowed her to think his family were genuinely concerned. I this she had real anguish about this - it comes across in the Oprah interview. No wonder she feels rejected, believing that something so integral to her - her black heritage - was unwanted and denigrated. I wonder if Harry has used his own learning and personal development about unconscious racism to misinterpret their comments
I completely believe this is what happened. Everything Meghan said about the racism, titles etc has come via Harry, and he has allowed her to take the flak. I believe he let her believe it because she them fed his pity party about him being second best and his kids not getting what Williams kids get. I think it's more likely that he has told her about the titles and the racist comments in order to garner sympathy from her about how mean his family are, not realising that it was such a big deal, then once it's all blown up, tried to backtrack with the ' unconscious bias thing. I have mixed race kids. If people have conversations with me in the room and participating that's different from conversations behind my back.

Absolutely, if they don't want to be mocked then they should stop acting so ridiculous. Of course ranking family members in order of importance and then insisting they you curtsey to the more important people is going to cause massive psychological issues. Harry and Meghan are the only evidence that anyone in the Royal Family is capable of any kind of love. Kate and William have all the warmth of an AI bot romance novel.

She embellished and changed the timeline to scaffold her claims around racism and the kids being denied titles.

Harry contradicted her in the very same Oprah interview and said the ‘comment’ was made in the early days of their relationship, which totally undermined her claims it was to do with titles and possible skin colour of the child she was carrying.

She does that kind of thing a lot.

Poisonous??

Don't try and eat her then!

It bothers me that taxpayers are paying for any of the royal family.
Noone can afford to subsidise them even if they wanted to in this economy.
They should all be ashamed of themselves. The parasites

I do agree that she lacks emotional intelligence

You're so delusional 🙄

If you think it's normal or sane for family members to be curtseying to each other then your reality is so far off base that I don't think delusional goes far enough.

He doesn't need security, he's not a senior royal is he? I thought he wanted to live an ordinary life, ordinary people don't demand security and if he wants it, let him pay for it.
Harry is to blame for not preparing Megan for royal life. I know they were older when they met but isn't that why William and Catherine dated for so long? So she could see what Royal life was like and how it worked.
Having said that until he married Megan Harry never aired any grievances with his family. Whatever he might have felt he didn't share. I think she is to blame for that She couldn't get her own way so encouraged Harry to turn on his family. I think she is a narcissist tbh. He's messed up though. Even if he does divorce her William won't accept him back in the family.

You think he doesn't need security? Despite the fact there's currently a Mumsnet thread tearing him and his wife apart? He's not ordinary. Kate is also not ordinary because very few women would accept devoting themselves entire to being a completely blank slate with no ambitions beyond fitting into a pre-defined mould that went out of date in about 1830.

He doesn’t want an ordinary life, he’s a prince! I think buying that enormous house showed he wanted anything but ordinary.
If they had wanted to step back for a few years, live on royal property, live quietly with some security. I don’t think anyone would have minded.
He wants a very very public life with lots and lots of security on tap.

“by the way she is biracial and not black” – what? Biracial Americans with one black parent are pretty universally considered both biracial and black.

When your mother was the focus for international press pursuit, stories true and false and you know other close family members have experienced similar, it's not unreasonable to think your spouse or prospective spouse will get the same attention.

When you meet someone who is likely to become a spouse or partner then you tell them about your family members - the good and bad. Yes it's your opinion but it gives them and idea.

When you have a family with traditions whether it's "we always go to a caravan in Cleethorpes for summer " or "we always go to Balmoral for Christmas" then it's only right to discuss that with a prospective spouse.

That’s another thing – he’s got no sense of what “inequalities” between siblings are just normal. Probably millions of younger siblings will tell you that their older sibling had the bigger bedroom, but Harry sees it as some kind of special insult because he’s “the spare.”

She does not identify as black, no matter what Americans decide about the racist ‘one drop’ rule, she has clearly stated she is biracial. She famously told the story of leaving a document blank when it asked for ethnicity because it only gave black, white, Hispanic, Asian. She describes herself as biracial in multiple interviews prior to meeting Harry.

That’s her perogative, she obviously did not concur with the ‘one drop’ principle and rightly so, it was a racist legal and social principle which was deemed unconstitutional in the ‘60’s.

Why be so unpleasant?

Not your family not your "rules" we have a shoes off in the house rule my friend has shoes/socks/slippers on in the house rule we are equally horrified by each other's rules but we abide by them in each other's house