Does anyone else dislike splitting the bill?

[Savedbythebell36]

Unless you've had something very similar and the price difference is pennies.
I went out with a group of friends the other week, I don't drink alcohol and most of them do. I had a starter as a main course, and two diet cokes.
It came to £33 each when splitting, even though my starter was i think £8.99 and two cokes around £8 in total.

That included a tip, but that would've meant me leaving a £16 tip which sounds extreme. I wish I'd spoken up really, next time I will but you're labelled as 'tight' if you do that. I asked them to confirm again, and nobody said 'you've only had a starter/soft drinks whereas we had more.'

It does put me off going sometimes but I suppose if your friends call you tight/cheapskate then they aren't real friends? I'm on more of a budget too.

Be proactive. Why should you pay for them? Take cash, make a note as you're ordering how much it comes to, add 10 or 15% tip, then as soon as the bill comes, before lushy Linda gets you to pay for her wine habit, put it on the table, saying "That covers everything I've had plus a tip." Then see if they have the gall to insist you subsidise them.

The Monzo app is your friend. It splits bills and you can adjust for when a person in the party had more or less. This short video explains it.

Where are we going? Friday is good for me.

I had one more

My DH did a favour for my friend, leant her a trailer that went on the back of our car for a house clearance. They didn't have a car that could take it so he dropped it off, picked it up, took it to the tip and got it emptied for them. There were a few trips and it took big chunks out of our weekend when I was home looking after the DC on my own.

Anyways, friend then said we owe you a lunch out to say thankyou.

I thought oh how lovely.

Then friend made it very clear, not you MyPurpleHeart, your DH. We are taking him out for lunch on his own to say thankyou.

DH and this person have NO contact at all outside of me, I arranged the whole thing 😂

Reply with "You're a freeloader." or "I'm not a food bank."

YANBU. You only pay for what you have + a tip. Or ask the restaurant to bring you a bottle of wine (unopened) for you to take home...let them all chip in for that 😁😇

Depends on my friends group. Generally though, we used to take the alcohol off and everyone paid for their own there, as some people drive. Then we split the food. These days we are all old and most of us barely drink so we just split it, lol.

I don't drink and I generally don't mind splitting the bill, although it's appreciated when others note they've had 3 large glasses of wine to my single sparkling water. I did go out with a close family member once who decided they would 'treat themselves to a nice bottle of wine' at our meal for two, at a cost of nearly £60, then split the bill equally... I didn't say anything because I felt churlish but it rankled...

YANBU but you do need to speak up for yourself

Otherwise you’re just subsidising them. So they’re actually the cheapskates because they don’t want to pay their own way.

That’s so rude of them! And they’re not treating themselves in that case - they’re expecting you to treat them!

Voted YABU as you ned to speak up and not worry what other people may or may not say about it!

If anyone calls you a cheapskate in this situation, your response can be 'actually, I think you're the cheapskate who doesn't want to pay their own way - exactly why should I be subsidising your meal? What's fair about that?' and leave them to froth.

This is the problem for me.. if OP's bill was £33 and she was expected to pay £50, then people at that table are absolutely paying less then what they have even consumed.. THEY are the tight ones and I'd have no problem pointing that out to the cheeky bastards.. I'd be keeping tabs of who ordered the most expensive stuff too, "so Sheila has order £70 worth of food and drink and only wants to pay £50.. but I'm the tight one??"

When we go out we all pay for what we order and bung a bit more in, no one calls anyone tight.

The answer being "you're the cheapskate wanting me to pay for your alcohol" with a smile. I'm not sure I'd want to go out with people like that tbh, I'd always offer if I had something more expensive etc to pay more.

We don't do this amongst my friends - we each pay for what we had, and add 10% ish of our own amount to cover a tip.

If someone calls you tight, you should say they're the tight ones, not even wanting to cover their own meals in full.

I agree. Whenever I eat out with my hobby group friends we all just pay for what we have eaten. We tend to get our own drinks from the bar separately so paying for drinks isn't an issue.

If DH and I eat out with another couple we tend to split the bill as we spend pretty much the same amount on food and drink.

It honestly enrages me, and my friend is so generous and kind. The bill was actually coming to £55 a head. I said absolutely no way is she paying that for a starter and a beer and her with three kids to feed. There is one woman who honestly orders a starter when no one else wants one and the most expensive thing on the menu and then we are covering her. If you want all that, that’s fine but know what you have spent and pay for yourself.

I don't drink either, and while most people will be aware, and keep alcohol charges separate, there's often one or two who wonder what the fuss is - the fuss is not wanting to pay for a share of X bottles of wine at £15 each when all I've had is one soft drink 😀 🤷

What absolutely appalling people.

Do friends really speak to each other like this?

It's rare for me to go out in that kind of group these days, but the last time I did it we always paid for what we had. I don't really understand why people would choose to do a split. But I'm also someone who wouldn't want to raise the issue and I'd quietly pay if the bill was being split. I eat out so rarely that even if it was quite expensive it wouldn't be hard to pay for it.

I don't mind paying extra although your example is quite extreme so I think that would annoy me. I don't drink but cokes can sometimes cost the same as a glass of wine. I bet the person who split the bill would be mortified if they knew what the difference was so I definitely would have said something. I was at a meal last week and split the bill and then realised one person has only had a starter costing £6.50 and had been charged £20 and I was so embarassed but only noticed because I looked at the bill after and managed to give her back £10. I suspect no-one knew you had spent so little.

Tbh if your friends are saying this then you probably need new friends.

We usually split the food bill and then split the drinks bill between the drinkers. The cost of wine in restaurants is now exorbitant and non drinkers shouldn't be expected to subsidise drinkers. On the plus side, many restaurants will digitally work out individual bills based on what you ordered.

This is where going to gastro pub type places where you order in advance via an app provides a neat solution.

Everyones pays for their own in advance.

If they would call you a cheapskate for not wanting to subsidise their meals then they are not your friends.

I am always conscious if someone has not shared alcohol or has ordered significantly less than me or I have ordered more.

those who are not aware ….. hmm I wonder if they are really unaware?

next time someone calls you cheap say “ do you want me to subsidise you? And if not I am cheap? Are you a CF then?”

I am happy to split the bill when eating out with friends whom I trudt not to take the piss. Otherwise I tot up what I’ve spent, round it up to the nearest fiver, and pay with cash.