Does anyone else dislike splitting the bill?

[Savedbythebell36]

Unless you've had something very similar and the price difference is pennies.
I went out with a group of friends the other week, I don't drink alcohol and most of them do. I had a starter as a main course, and two diet cokes.
It came to £33 each when splitting, even though my starter was i think £8.99 and two cokes around £8 in total.

That included a tip, but that would've meant me leaving a £16 tip which sounds extreme. I wish I'd spoken up really, next time I will but you're labelled as 'tight' if you do that. I asked them to confirm again, and nobody said 'you've only had a starter/soft drinks whereas we had more.'

It does put me off going sometimes but I suppose if your friends call you tight/cheapskate then they aren't real friends? I'm on more of a budget too.

You're probably right but it was a chorus from everyone else so l wasn't upset enough to break the mood. I made my choices based on gluten not money but if l was under pressure money wise l would have had to speak up.

Nope, I wrote exactly the opposite of that.

DH and I ordered the vegetarian meal, which was £X pp. The meat eaters' and non-drinkers meals were £X+20pp, plus they ordered starters which my husband and I didn't/couldn't eat. We split the bill for the food as per usual and then were asked for an additional contribution for our drinks on top. Given the vast differential in the cost of our meals, I had not been expecting to have to provide this subsidy. The extra we had paid in food more than covered it. But as I said, because the reason is a religious one, we didn't say anything.

I am never the person who eats less, but I'm always the person who says splitting isn't fair. It's much easier to say it from that position. You only split equally if there is a negligible difference.

@BerryTwister usually, the difference in price is not this extreme. But this restaurant was really expensive, and with the starters they had which were finished by the time we arrived, I thought it was cheeky.

I prefer to pay for myself because I never feel free to order a really expensive meal. I'm mindful that others are all paying.

I am comfortable to pay for everyone, as a treat due to a special celebration etc..

If splitting is agreed then I never mind paying more than the value of my own meal. It's not worth being the odd one out.

Friends should be happy with everything being fair. I’d never split a bill with someone who hadn’t had drinks etc, when the rest of the table had.

If anyone calls you a cheapskate, you can say “am I? Or are you a freeloader? I don’t want to pay £33 for a £16 bill, but you’re happy to pay £33 for a £50 bill? Make that make sense please?”

They're calling you tight so you'll pay towards their share.I can't stand these type of greedy people.

And what did you say to that?

I'd say something like, "No, you're the one who's tight for wanting me to subsidise your food. You need to pay your way"

Me and my friends always ask each other what we'd like to do but I would normally point out if one of us hadn't drank any alcohol as I personally don't think it's fair for someone else to pay for my wine however I never have dessert so sometimes it works out roughly even, I think it should just be common courtesy to ask how everyone wants to manage the bill at the end.

Re think your choice of friends. Being thrifty is not tight it’s just watching your money. In this financial climate that’s just sensible x

Yes, it was glorious with the guy who'd ordered 3 courses with lobster, sides, loads of alcohol etc. then making this enormous fuss and saying 'if I'd known we had to pay for our own, I wouldn't have ordered so much'!

Then I would be reviewing my friendships, these are hurtful, unjustified comments, geared up to ensure you continue to subsidise their meals. You deserve better. I wouldn't give them the time of day!

You tell the restaurant how many people are in the group and they seat you accordingly. It’s rare in a restaurant where you get seated for 4 people to be given a table for 7 unless not busy.

i agree that if a restaurant where the expectation is that everyone eats you need to be willing to pay for a main course and not just a starter.

My favourite bit was when he said he wasn't going to take it any further 😂

YANBU. I remember years ago, me and STBXH went out with my friend, her husband and his family. We went to an expensive restaurant and I chose one of the cheapest meals on the menu. The rest chose more expensive stuff off the menu, so you can imagine how pissed both of us were when they split the bill “equally”. We all had to cough up £40 each (£80 in total off me
and my ex). There was no way we’d eaten that much off the menu. It pissed us off for ages after. So in those circumstances no, I don’t think it’s fair. Especially if you’re only drinking a soft drink and everyone else is drinking alcohol.

The only time I do anything like this, we each pay for our own food. We generally hand cash to one person and they pay with their card.

Anyone who accuses their so-called friends of being tight isn't worth associating with. I'd honestly rather have no friends than spend time with people who'd take advantage of me and insult me if I complained or tried to pay only for my own share of the bill.

I hear you. I’m vegetarian and went with a new group of temporary work colleagues… only knew them for several weeks. They chose an Argentine Steak House (did have veggie option). Me and one other ordered veggie option, the others about 8, ordered meat platters and extra side orders, red wines and white wine virtual a bottle each. The bill was split equally and I paid £48… my meal was less than £15! Now I make an excuse and don’t go… I’ve noticed that the other person who had the same meal as me doesn’t go either. Very difficult as we don’t know each other well and only meet up for work in the summer and winter. I felt a bit used tbh. I’d like to go out as they are a nice group, but don’t want to be subsidising them.

I agree with you.... Ive been stung too many times as Im always the driver, so dont drink, and its always the drinker adding a bottle of wine, just one cocktail, extra side dishes etc that asks to split the bill.
I refuse now. And stand my ground. Usually get thanked by others afterwards who also feel its unfair but not brave enough to speak up.

Hi op I hate this you need to say upfront I will pay for my own with me not drinking alcohol and if they make a comment about being tight just say I don’t see why I should pay twice as much for something I’m not having. I’m not asking you to pay for mine so I shouldn’t have to pay towards everyone else’s. Your not being tight your trying not to be mugged off. People who do this usually have more food and drink than the others so you could also say there the ones being tight as they don’t want to pay the right amount.

I don’t drink alcohol and I for want to pay for anyone else’s … 🤷🏼‍♀️ I always speak up at the time of ordering and say - I’m not drinking so I’m just going to pay for what I have on a separate bill. It’s hard for anyone to argue with that!

Did your voice boxes get removed along with the money?

absolutely bizarre to not speak up, and THEN be seething for ages after

FFS! Yes I did have a moan to my friend about it but she just laughed it off. I knew from then on I wouldn’t let that happen again. I bet you’ve lost the use of your voice box in the past then moaned about it afterwards!

And like Savedbythebell says, you get labelled as a cheapskate and tight.

This is where the problem lies with all this - the caring what selfish fuckwits people think of you.
Even though I'm still a bit of a people pleaser in my mind 50's 🫣 I draw the line when it comes to cash - I won't let CF shame me out of my money.