Son can’t afford to live at home but we have no space for him

[nomorestripes]

My son (27) moved out at 21 to live with his girlfriend and when that didn’t work out he rented a room in a shared house, he has always worked but lived hand to mouth and now he has lost his job.

He can’t afford to rent his room anymore as he is only going to get £400 a month in benefits and his housing benefit won’t cover all his £600 rent leaving a short fall of about £200, his car insurance is about £100 a month which he needs to get a job and his phone is about £50 a month which he needs to get a job and his car tax is due this month so even paying that monthly it all comes to more than he will receive.
I don’t have the means to support him as I am a full time carer for my disabled 4 year old.
My husband is not his dad and we only have a 2 bed house as our 4 year old was born after he moved out so now has his old room.
We have no space for him and I can’t expect my husband who is the only earner on a low wage to support a grown adult as well as his own wife and child.

He has mentioned that he might have to move back home but realistically we have a tiny lounge with a small corner sofa and two bedrooms so we don’t have room and if we did have our 4 year old in with us we have no idea how long that would be and he would be in no position to contribute financially and we only just scrape by as it is.
But… he’s my son and I need to help him as he is trying so hard to find a job and although this is his first month so he still has his wages left once his benefits start coming in he will not be able to afford his room.
I am so worried for him but I just don’t know how we can make it work, supporting him will be too much for my husband with no end date in sight.

Please please. Find room for your son.

His parents have separated, his dad doesn't appear to be available and his mum has a new partner and child. It isn't the same as being denied access to a family home where he grew up and both parents are still living and where he's welcome any time . Not having that safety net is hard for him, but that home no longer exists, and OP's resources are quite limited by the sound of it.

She is his half sister...step children are not related by blood

To be fair it varies he leaves at 8am and can finish any time between 5 and 7 but also works Saturday but I forgot to factor in his day off in the week so all in all his take home is about 2k but without fixed hours it varies.
I get carers and daughter gets dla.
We get a top up of UC and it’s usually a couple of hundred but my carers allowance is classed as income so deducted from the UC and housing benefit which is a housing association.
To make things worse he has been to the job centre today thinking he would get paid this month but got told he isn’t getting paid this month because his last wages from his job last month were over the cut off only for a few weeks before he was sacked and so he has already had that a month ago and now has said about 400 of his wages to last until the end of next month when he will get his first payment and his rent has to come out of that and his car tax/insurance, phone and food and toiletries.

I took him to get his hair cut and a suit but speaking to Dh he said no way can we afford to cover all that money to see him through but still unsure if he should leave his house share yet as he will be liable for the rest of the money anyway so I don’t know what he’s going to do about his expenses.
It just seems to be spiralling for him.

Half sister, then.

If he was fired is there any way he could get his job back? Is it worth asking/apologising and seeing if they’d take him back?

Has he signed up for all the temping agencies in the area?

If you want to make it work you can.

If you don't want to you can make millions of excuses to sugar coat it and justify it.

Lots of families have and are going through challenging times.

Get a fold up bed in the living room. Put some storage boxes in your room for his clothes and stuff.

You can make it work.
Don't abandon your child.

"Housing benefit will cover at least the median local cost for a single room in a shared house"

Not so, Batman

"The Local Housing Allowance is based on the 30th percentile of local rented accommodation, while the 50th percentile or median was used from the introduction of the policy until 2011 " from Wiki also points to <a class="break-all" href="https://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/ukgwa/20121003064118/www.direct.gov.uk/en/Nl1/Newsroom/DG_192415" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this

And more recently

LHA was last set at the 30th percentile of local rents in April 2024, with rates based on rents surveyed in the year to September 2023, up to national maximum amounts. A freeze since 2024 means that rates have not kept up with rising rental prices since.

This is completely ignoring the fact the guy clearly did not choose to lose his job that totes afforded him Jaguar Type 01 and caviar mud-baths

To be honest id suggest he just pays what he can afford to his landlord. Explain the situation he cant move out as he be classed as deliberately homeless. He needs to explain to his landlord smd explain to dss that he cant afford his rent. I doubt he get chesper rent and keep the car as he need to give a better chance of job. Its not really fair on landlord but such is life. If he gets kicked out the council will have a duty to house.
if he ends up on street then yes you do have to take him in but not yet. And the car he may have to sleep in.
this is such a sad story a man worked all his life. The job market flat unless in a trade. To all say where is his savings? Be realistic how much can you save when renting? Makes me so angry literally no support for people who have worked meanwhile many scamming system in benefits.
no idea what work he does but linked in seems to be how most jobs are advertised. October is when shops look for xmas staff might be ab idea for now?

He’s trying to find work. Read it

I agree it seems to be spiralling for your son but he needs to know that you and your husband do not have his back. He needs to know this now so he doesn't get his hopes up. You might need to put in writing to the council that you're unable to help him. I feel for you but I honestly feel for him a lot more.

Did your DH move in with you as you said you moved a lot before in home you have now?

Maybe you and your son can put your details into this to see if you are getting all you are entitled to Benefits Calculator - entitledto - independent | accurate | reliable

You're getting a hard time here OP. Adhd can be hard to live with. Housing costs have spiralled.

I agree with @Purpl , that he gives what he can to the landlord and tries to find more work. His phone is expensive but not sure of he can get out of contract. He needs car for work. Could he do Deliveroo type stuff or parcels?

I feel for your son.
He parents marriage broke.
He has no safety net of family home.
No security.
Very sad.
Don't let your child be homeless.

You must let him move in without question he’s your son

Whether half sister, step sister or full sibling, I would not want a severely disabled four year old daughter with complex needs having to share a small room, or bunkbeds with a 27 year old male, especially once who has been described as "messy" and "rude" and "full-on".

Okay. They’re siblings. They can still share. Or they could have the sofa, or they could buy a caravan. There is loads they could do !

none of my kids would go homeless!

Where does the OP say she was married to his dad? She was a teen when she had him so chances are she wasn’t married and she said she’s been a single mum his whole life. Yes it’s terribly sad when adults don’t come from homes where their parents are married and they have a large house where they are welcome any time. However if you look around the world, you will see that exceptionally few people have this and that’s just a fact of life I’m afraid.

OP you sound incredibly non emotional about the whole thing. He is still your son. You will need to stand together and make a plan. I would suggest looking for work and laying landlord what he can until evicted and then only moves in with you. But dont abandon him. Can you do any work any days to top up your own situation ? 2k take home for a family is extremely low and not to support your son but for your own sake if possible unless your husband loves his job coild he longer term look to increase salary

How much can one save when renting? Quite a bit in his case. His rent is only £600 with no other house bills, I assume. Even on minimum wage (assuming FT) he should be left with more than enough money to cover basics plus put some aside. We are talking circa 1800 net take home pay. £600 rent, £200 food (being generous here), £200 car, £50 mobile. You are telling me he can't save £200-300 a month as a single guy with no additional responsibilities?

Also, for balance/some peace of mind and information for yourself and your son

his landlord simply cannot evict him outright, the landlord needs to follow the new process that came in with the Renters Right Act in May -

he will not become homeless immediately, or any time this side of Christmas

If your son does not find a job/alternative accommodation in sufficient time, then since May 2026, the process has changed, in his favour, over the old Section 21

Shelter - Section 8 eviction notices

If you do not leave when the notice ends
Your landlord cannot make you leave straight away.
They can apply for a court order to evict you. There will always be a court hearing.

Official legislation Ground 8 - rent arrears

"You can use this ground to evict your tenant if they owe you at least 3 months’ rent, if they pay rent monthly or at least 13 weeks’ rent, if the rent is paid weekly or fortnightly.

Your tenant will need to owe you 3 months or 13 weeks rent on the day you give them the notice and at the date of the hearing.

Your tenant cannot be evicted under this ground if they pay off what they owe or owe less than the amounts above by the time you get to court.
If your tenant owes 3 months or 13 weeks rent because they have not received their Universal Credit, you will not be able to evict them. Benefits are not counted when a tenant owes rent.

Ground 8 notice period

You must give 4 weeks’ notice before you can apply to the court for a possession order to evict your tenant".

He really shouldnt leave his accommodation, he needs to wait for eviction

He needs to apply for anything and everything and Im afraid the car has to go, even if he only got a couple of grand for it, thats 3 months rent