AIBU: It’s a vegan one

[FiveMetresUp]

We have a work event scheduled for just before Christmas. All staff are invited along with their spouses and children. There will be food, Santa, games, etc. It sounds like a lot of fun. I am quite new to the company. I asked the organizer if our vegan family would be catered for and she said she “would try”. AIBU to be a little annoyed at this?

We have been vegan for a long time. I don’t talk about it unless it comes up in conversation or, as is the case here, we have been invited to an event. We are always grateful when people cater to us, but most of the time they don’t bother.

AIBU to just not go? It would be a shame because it sounds like a lot of fun, but if the organizer can’t be bothered to lay on a few bits of vegan food, then I don’t feel that my family and I are welcome.

AIBU?

Gosh providing vegan food isn't exactly a burden is it ? You are not asking anyone to source some exotic produce . I went to wedding for 60 people and the whole meal was vegan . And lovely.

I would if I didn’t get hospital treatment thanks. I almost did when a supposedly vegan soup at a work event contained chicken stock. Not that it should matter what anyone’s reasons are but some people are veggie/vegan for reasons other than ethics

She is the office manger and has worked at the company for 16 years. She is quite a difficult person to deal with at times.

What do you actually want to happen then? You weren't catered for and (correctly) think you should have been. But you don't want to raise it?

Your only choices are to go and not eat or don't go, in that case.

Yeah, I don’t think we’ll go. It’s not worth the possible fallout.

There is no possible fallout from you going.

For god sake give the poor cow a chance. She’s said she’ll try. Give her a week and ask her again if she’s been able to find out about the vegan options then make your decision.

I’ll try means she isn’t sure off the cuff and needs to check. Not she can’t guarantee vegan food or all the other nonsense you’ve come up with on this thread

I don't get why so many people are telling the OP to take food with her/eat beforehand/offer to help with the catering.
Vegan is hardly unusual or difficult for professional caterers to cater for these days. Saying 'I'll try' is very ungracious.

I’d take your own food

A lot of people definitely do not like vegans in my quite vast experience.

And what message does that send to my kids?

YANBU. I'm coeliac now so I would not be going if it wasn't mandatory and they couldn't be bothered to cater for me. Fyi I don't eat meat, haven't since I was a child, thinking about introducing some now. Anyway - my child and DH don't eat pork and I wouldn't be bringing them to a work event that involved a pork only barbecue.

Also venues often have rules against bringing your own food in so that's not an easy fix necessarily

Yes, that probably includes all of the people who call themselves 'mainly vegan/vegetarian' - which is daft, as unless you have a mixed grill, most meals that include meat are majority 'vegan'.

It's like saying you're 'mainly law-abiding' if you've only committed a few serious crimes!!

Unlikely for a December event without extra cost and faff with extra prep and cooking equipment/separate grill etc so there's no cross contamination etc. Its really not just a case of throwing a couple of vegan burgers on the barbecue

OP you’re being dramatic now. You’re saying your kids will miss out on the games, Santa etc, just because there won’t be food they can eat. That’s ridiculous. Why can’t they eat beforehand?

One of my son’s friends was a very picky eater, disliked all conventional party food, so his Mum would just bring the food he liked, and he’d eat with the other kids. He didn’t miss out on all the parties just because the food wasn’t right for him.

You’re flouncing. It’s not a meal out. It’s a party, and the food is just a small part of it. And for all you know, there might actually be a ton of vegan food!

That the food they have on offer isn't suitable for them and that their mum didn't want to raise it with the appropriate channels for fear of making a fuss?

Your work needs to be careful. Ethical veganism is a protected characteristic in the UK so refusing repeatedly to offer vegan food at work events could form part of a discrimination claim. The same as having Hindu or Muslim employees and repeatedly having events with no food for them.
But on the practical side, she's being deliberately obstructive if she thinks her caterer won't be well-used to being asked for vegan dishes. Crikey, a plate of hummus and pittas isn't much to ask for!

I’d ask her if she can confirm that the caterers will definitely be providing some labelled vegan food, as you don’t want to bring your children only to find there’s nothing they can eat.

If she says yes and then there isn’t any, you should definitely raise a complaint. Veganism is not unusual these days.

But when she said "I’ll try" it’s possible that she just meant she would ask the caterers if they could do that.

@FiveMetresUp it sends them the message that sometimes minority dietary requirements aren’t catered for. It’s unfortunate but it’s true. You can’t protect them from reality for ever.

You’re saying your kids will miss out on the games, Santa etc, just because there won’t be food they can eat. That’s ridiculous. Why can’t they eat beforehand?
Well, they will miss out if they don't go, and if they don't go it'll be because she knows they wouldn't be catered for.
Why on earth should people make special provision to eat beforehand just because the boss CBA letting the caterers know they'll need to include things suitable for vegans? It's not hard.

Any caterer who could not deal with good 2 month notice about dietary requirement for handful of people within set budget should really not be in business catering large events....

The boss hasn't refused though, she's said repeatedly she doesn't want to raise it with the boss for fear of being seen as a pain.

You're scared to have a quick word with your manager who you said will definitely support you?

🙄

Just a thought: will there be treats for the kids - e.g. a selection box or a bag of chocolate coins from Santa? They will almost certainly not be vegan, so that's another consideration.