AIBU: It’s a vegan one

[FiveMetresUp]

We have a work event scheduled for just before Christmas. All staff are invited along with their spouses and children. There will be food, Santa, games, etc. It sounds like a lot of fun. I am quite new to the company. I asked the organizer if our vegan family would be catered for and she said she “would try”. AIBU to be a little annoyed at this?

We have been vegan for a long time. I don’t talk about it unless it comes up in conversation or, as is the case here, we have been invited to an event. We are always grateful when people cater to us, but most of the time they don’t bother.

AIBU to just not go? It would be a shame because it sounds like a lot of fun, but if the organizer can’t be bothered to lay on a few bits of vegan food, then I don’t feel that my family and I are welcome.

AIBU?

and @BeardySchnauzer

Thanks, yes I can see it’s a bit ambiguous.

That is a standard reply to a question that involves liaising with another person though.

The OP talks about people judging vegans but her attitude to this party is why some people do judge.

Sometimes you have to admit that you have plenty of options but you aren’t prepared to accept any of them. I choose not to attend most things as they can’t cater to me and I wouldn’t want to

Its not like it’s a full sit down meal which revolves around the food in any case.

No, I was responding to the question posed by Orders76.

”So do you eat meat because you've just never thought about it and it's the way you've been brought up, or is it a conscious decision and you think you're top of the food chain?”

I wouldn’t ask why someone was only eating green grapes and not red in your scenario if I knew they had an aversion to red grapes. Otherwise, I might. Particularly if I knew them well.

No and very often don't.

You must know that you're not being unreasonable. The organiser was completely in the wrong. I don't know any caterered event where people aren't asked about their dietary requirements. They have provide vegetarian, vegan, halal and kosher food for attendees who are vegetarian, vegan, Muslim or Jewish and they also have to ask about fand cater for ood intolerances.

It sounds as though you are being bullied and excluded due to your veganism. Ethical veganism is a protected characteristic under the Equality Act.

Please stand up for yourself and your family and make sure that you are all catered for.

Edited - sorry I thought you were talking about OP. Haven’t got my bloody glasses on

She didn’t even mention it when asked though at the time because of her own issues and when she did, the organiser said she would try to sort it out - if she had said definitely no problem before she had spoken to the caterers and there was an issue then OP would complain about that.

Assuming the company is paying for the party, surely you go if it suits and not if it doesn’t. You can of course make a stand about your rights but then you can’t be surprised when people roll their eyes about stereotypical vegans. People won’t remember whether or not you attend but they will remember if you make a drama out of it.

Organising these events is utter shit and OP’s complaint won’t be the only thing the organiser has to deal with.

It’s not compulsory and if you can’t go an evening without eating, just eat the things that are suitable as not everything will have meat/fish dairy.

So is being ND but try getting them to cater for that.

Which was a reply for "why aren't you eating meat?"

That seems very intense, and is not something I've ever experienced.

So how would catering for a ND person work ?
What needs to be taken into account ?
There is a very wide spectrum that I can't imagine how food would be provided that would suit all.

I was at a funeral and wake today. We didn't say anythig about dietary stuff (allergies and vegetarian) because - well- it's a wake and you can always eat before or after.

Thanks to this thread I pad attention. The non-vegan veg options were little cheese gruyeres. The vegan offerings were mushroom tartlets and croustade with red pepper hummus topped with marinated artichokes.

I doubt anyone looked at those and thought 'Dear Lord Above, weirdo vegan options!!!!'. It's just food. Great food.

(The meat and fish options were equally lovely.)

Point is it's just not that hard to provide. And it's usually delicious.

That’s exactly the issue though. As an ND person I have protections in place (more so than being vegan!) but I have to accept that I can’t eat at these events because to do so would involve having to see the full list of available food and know exactly what was in it right down to the seasoning.

This would apply even to standard things.

I understand that I can’t be catered for so I accept it and don’t make a drama about it.

I would have looked at it and wondered WTF as the idea of any kind of hummus, let alone artichokes, would have me heaving

Eh? I mean, it's limiting for their business and very unusual if they don't supply vegan food; but what is bad or wrong about them supplying vegetarian food that contains egg?

It would have been weird if they claimed to be supplying vegan meals, but then served them with egg.

But the main point is that one party is compromising with what they can manage with, but wouldn't really choose; whilst the other party gets exactly what they wanted as their first (well, only) choice.

Your example would be more like you buying your DH (if you have one) a smart men's shirt in size XL, and then him presenting you with an identical one (if you are a woman) - especially if he says that it easily fits you (i.e. it will go on your body, however baggily) and keeps you warm, so you're clearly both happy!

I dare say it was, but I was responding to the response, not the original question. That is why I quoted the response, not the original question.

OP, how did you get the idea that “most people” don’t feel that being vegan is a dietary requirement. Your lived experience seems to show clearly that many people do think vegans make their requirements clear to whoever is in charge of catering. Maybe that’s unfair, but sometimes you’ll have to choose between being “right” or eating,

I think it depends what type of catering it is. If it’s a full meal provided then yes there should be vegan food. If it’s just a few mince pies or biscuits to have alongside a cup of coffee/some squash then I don’t think it’s a big deal.

If it’s sandwiches being provided for people to just go up and get whenever then they can probably easily have vegan ones but can’t guarantee they will still be there at the point your family wants them.