AIBU: It’s a vegan one

[FiveMetresUp]

We have a work event scheduled for just before Christmas. All staff are invited along with their spouses and children. There will be food, Santa, games, etc. It sounds like a lot of fun. I am quite new to the company. I asked the organizer if our vegan family would be catered for and she said she “would try”. AIBU to be a little annoyed at this?

We have been vegan for a long time. I don’t talk about it unless it comes up in conversation or, as is the case here, we have been invited to an event. We are always grateful when people cater to us, but most of the time they don’t bother.

AIBU to just not go? It would be a shame because it sounds like a lot of fun, but if the organizer can’t be bothered to lay on a few bits of vegan food, then I don’t feel that my family and I are welcome.

AIBU?

She said she would try - presumably by speaking to caterers.

I can’t get worked up by this sort of thing. I’m coeliac so I’ve not eaten at events in all the years I’ve been diagnosed (and I wouldn’t eat any gf food at a buffet anyway due to cross contamination.

I’ve had jobs where I’ve worked long hours too and I’ve always manage to take something gluten free with me.

There are a lot of things in life that are not worth stressing over. This is one of them.

I would just respond that I eat meat because I like the taste.

I find it hard to to believe the new person is the only veggie/ vegan in the company? How big is the company? I also think when the organiser said she’d try, she meant she would try…

Would you ask the same question of anyone eating anything different to you?

They haven't said they can't. She's being melodramatic and difficult on purpose.

Office manager asked for dietary requirements and she didn't mention it at that point because she didn't think people view veganism as a dietary requirement (??!) and then mentioned it afterwards - presumably after OM had sorted catering. I'd be annoyed if I were in charge of the catering too, you've been asked, that was your chance to say.

I don't understand why you didn't mention it when asked for dietary requirements. I was very much on your side until I saw this- in fact I was going to suggest that this is something to raise with HR- but if you don't tell people they don't know. Not mentioning it then asking afterwards is really annoying and I imagine she said she would try because she now has to change a booking that has already been placed and for which there may be a cut off.

On the previous occasions, did you also not mention your dietary requirements?

All the debate on this thread about the rights and wrongs of veganism is a red herring. You are entitled to have this requirement, you just need to tell people about it.

I hate that restaurants now offer vegan as vegetarian. It’s so lazy! It is NOT the same thing and I don’t want to eat vegan food. Not even vegans want to eat vegan cheese.

Agree that if OP didn’t reply to the dietary requirements she can’t really complain now!!

Do you really have to eat meat at every single meal?

I changed my vote because she DID ask dietary preferences right at the start and you ignored it. You started this thread on a false premise.

You're being very unreasonable.

ETA it's the Yesterday 08:12 post if anyone wants to read back.

Oh i totally understand. I'm an avocado eater, I have them every day. Whenever I've been invited to someone's for dinner do they serve me avocado's? Do they fuck!

I assume you are referring to the question I was responding to.

No. It wouldn’t occur to me to do so.

At least, I wouldn’t ask why they were eating it. I might ask if it tasted nice in case I wanted to try some too.

The question you were responding to was a reply for "why aren't you eating meat"?

But would you ask "why aren't you eating red grapes?" when someone is only eating the green ones and you think red ones are better.

If not then it's clearly not just about liking the taste.

Gorillas are also vegetarian

I agree

Went to a work function recently, was at the back of the queue at lunch. There were sandwiches. Cheese and pickle, chicken salad, blt and vegan blt. There was nothing but vegan blt left by the time I got there but it looked so incredibly UPG I didn’t dare touch it. Neither did anyone else. Why do catering staff think ANYONE would choose to eat artificial bacon unless they were vegan? What’s wrong with humous and tomato?

That’s poor. If they haven’t ordered plenty, they should limit people to two sandwich triangles each until everyone has had a chance to get some.

Then people can go back for seconds after everyone has had a chance.

Did you see people load their plates or were they restrained!

I agree that using substitutes like vegan bacon or vegan cheese at a buffet is silly. I’m vegetarian and don’t really eat those. And there are so many sandwich options that you don’t really need them

i was at a buffet the other day and they had egg or cheese and pickle sandwiches and all the salads had tuna or chicken and the potato salad was sprinkled with bacon🤣. Luckily they also had chips.

my colleague who organised it had told them there were 2 vegetarians but if there had been a vegan (two of my colleagues were until last year) then I would hope they would have provided something else when requested

She is unreasonable. I arrange catering a few times a year for team events, both in house and external, i always do some vegan options and i also check with attendees re gluten free/dairy free etc that need to be catered for.

She did though - in the invite it said to let her know about any dietary requirements

it sounds like OP asked afterwards and she may have been irritated because she had already arranged the catering by that point

OP’s posts don’t suggest she delayed responding.

The meeting invite asked for dietary requirements, OP stated hers and the colleague said ‘I will try’.

Maybe OP could clarify but I would hope by now she’s confirmed with the organiser either way anyway

It's mean spirited not to cater for you, particularly now that veganism is more mainstream. I'm already planning for some vegan relative visiting. M & S do some loevely vineleaves and nibbly bits if she can't throw together some simple dishes. Their free from range has some vegan options too, there really isn't an excuse.

OP says "She did ask about dietary requirements in the meeting invitation but I find people don’t really view being vegan as a dietary requirement."

I read that as saying that, because (in OP's view) people don't see being vegan as a dietary requirement, she did not mention it in response to the meeting invitation, but then asked later whether she would be catered for.

Would be good if OP could clarify.

That’s how I read it

far better to have responded by email so there’s a written trail. Also, the organiser will have just collated the answers - I can’t imagine she would have chosen to knock some off because she doesn’t agree with it

in writing it also means Op can mention to her boss if the request was ignored