AIBU: It’s a vegan one

[FiveMetresUp]

We have a work event scheduled for just before Christmas. All staff are invited along with their spouses and children. There will be food, Santa, games, etc. It sounds like a lot of fun. I am quite new to the company. I asked the organizer if our vegan family would be catered for and she said she “would try”. AIBU to be a little annoyed at this?

We have been vegan for a long time. I don’t talk about it unless it comes up in conversation or, as is the case here, we have been invited to an event. We are always grateful when people cater to us, but most of the time they don’t bother.

AIBU to just not go? It would be a shame because it sounds like a lot of fun, but if the organizer can’t be bothered to lay on a few bits of vegan food, then I don’t feel that my family and I are welcome.

AIBU?

Did you complain?

I had a bit of a moan. It never goes down well.

I was at another company a couple of years ago and we had a an overseas conference. I was very clear that both myself and my daughter (who I took with me) were vegan. There was literally NO vegan food. All the rice dishes had chicken salt. All the stir fries had fish sauce. There was no proper food at all.

I complained to the company organiser and she never spoke to me again!

My partner is vegan, at his last office bbq he got advised to bring his own veg patties, which he though was fair enough but there would be bread, salad etc provided.

When he got there the salad contained egg mayonnaise and the bread was buttered. I found it all a bit thoughtless that they couldn't leave some salad without dressing and a couple of slices of bread aside for him. So, all the poor bugger ate was his veggie patties by himself.

I am dairy intolerant and would sometimes struggle to eat at events if no one was aware or as has happened on occasion alternatives are offered but not to the general standard of the catering - like an afterthought.

Instead of waiting to be offended I ask in advance if catering will be available, in your case she has said she will try… give her time to do so. Check back in a few weeks before the event to clarify. If it’s not possible ask what is being catered and take along a few alternatives for your family to be plated up.
We went to a pumpkin patch with friends at the weekend, I knew my DC would want to toast marshmallows and friends family are vegan so we took a bag of plant kitchen marshmallows and asked if they had a vegan alternative or was it ok to use these. They could not have been nicer and said no problem we will ensure to stock them next year.

Im a caterer and would ask for dietary requirements. I would then provide labelled platters for those guests. Any decent caterer would do the same.

I am gluten free and veggie. I always take my own food to events like this and then am pleasantly surprised when I find something I can eat on the buffet. Veggie is usually catered for but often includes pastry (veggie sausage rolls, quiche etc).
Just take along a couple of boxes of food you and your family can enjoy alongside the activities.

@Dartmoorcheffy the caterer probably did ask.

The whole point of the event is to show what a wonderful, family-friendly organisation we are. Expecting an employee to take their own food for their kids completely undermines the whole thing, IMO.

She said she'd try - so why not just take her at her word?

Either way, it seems silly to me to not go. Surely if your kids would enjoy it it'd be better to go and take your own food as backup rather than not go at all? The kids would miss out on everything then, rather than just missing out on some buffer food.

I would mention it again. Ask whether she had any luck. I can't imagine any reputable caterer wouldn't have vegan options. Even when our local church does a coffee morning there is always vegan and gluten free options. It is standard.

Hi OP I agree it is very poor, can you get pizzas delivered to the venue on this occasion, I know you should not have to though, and it may also attract unwanted attention possibly

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all - it's a fairly standard dietary requirement nowadays. If a company is providing food to their employees/families, it's fairly standard practice to ask for dietary requirements/allergies and then cater accordingly....

And technically vegans wouldn’t die if they eat meat.

But you just distract them from that. At these type of events my kids weren’t really interested in the food anyway! They’ll enjoy themselves with the activities anyway and given what kids buffets are like I’m sure there’ll be carrot sticks and fruit they can eat at a minimum

I would take some vegan sweets though as I imagine they won’t even think that would be a problem

a meat eater won’t die if they were only served vegan food either

To be fair, she said she’ll try as she’ll have to ask the caterer what their arrangements are. If it’s a proper one they’ll have something in place, and/or you can contact them to check. If it’s not then I’d suggest taking stuff you can all eat when others are eating. I usually take extra snacks in case the offerings are shit, but the emphasis here seems to be the occasion, not the food; I would just enjoy it for what it is.

They may be dairy intolerant, like my friend I described earlier.

And you wouldn’t die if you ate a dog, but would you? If that was all that was offered?

i would be physically ill and deeply distressed. You sound lovely. 🤬

You've been lucky! Latest event I went to the vegan buffet option was green salad sandwiches. I appreciated them giving me something of course as opposed to nothing.

It's not difficult to provide some non-animal based options. I'd leave it for a bit, ask if she's had any luck and if not ask for the caterer's details. If my family were to be singled out to not eat, I wouldn't go. And I'd tell anyone who organised the event why I didn't.

Not unreasonable.
Work events should cater for all dietary requirements.
Colleagues should be treated equally no one should be spending their own money bringing food or eating beforehand at a catered work event.
Veganism is neither new nor hard. A catering company should be able to provide vegan options without any issue.

Exactly this! Vegan food is just food.

I would be annoyed too. I'm not vegan. I'm also only newly vegetarian. I think it's really easy to make loads of really delicious vegan dishes and then add some plates of drumsticks, sausage rolls and salmon bits for the meat eaters

YABU to be annoyed at someone saying they would try to accommodate your dietary choice. She would need to go away and speak to the caterers to find out if they could accommodate you. She can’t promise in their behalf.

I’d expect the buffet will have vegan options by default. You can take the position you’re outraged and pissed off or you can take the position the woman is trying to do something nice and has said she’ll try. If you’re new to the company is this the issue you want to take up? You’ve come onto mumsnet to have a moan so you’ve done the former.

I’d assume they’d ask about kids given risk of allergies anyway otherwise they’re just leaving themselves open.

I think it’s a bit rubbish that her response was dismissive (which it sounds like maybe it was).

I would wish a few weeks and then ask again - did you have a chance to request some vegan options from the caterer?

you could also offer to speak to them if she’s busy. Might come across as helpful.

id assume other allergens are catered for - nut, gluten and dairy?