AIBU: It’s a vegan one

[FiveMetresUp]

We have a work event scheduled for just before Christmas. All staff are invited along with their spouses and children. There will be food, Santa, games, etc. It sounds like a lot of fun. I am quite new to the company. I asked the organizer if our vegan family would be catered for and she said she “would try”. AIBU to be a little annoyed at this?

We have been vegan for a long time. I don’t talk about it unless it comes up in conversation or, as is the case here, we have been invited to an event. We are always grateful when people cater to us, but most of the time they don’t bother.

AIBU to just not go? It would be a shame because it sounds like a lot of fun, but if the organizer can’t be bothered to lay on a few bits of vegan food, then I don’t feel that my family and I are welcome.

AIBU?

Surely I’ll try is just a colloquial way of saying yes when you don’t know exactly what the form is yet. She might not know if there’s vegan options as standard or if they have to be properly ordered. Or she might be waiting for the caterer to guide her through the allergies and dietary requirements piece.

OP I don’t feel like you should have to, but I think you could offer to contact the caterer yourself. I often do this with work events, or big family meals out, because we have dietary requirements. Sometimes it is just easier to tell the caterer directly and have a chat about what they can provide, rather than rely on the organiser to relay the message accurately!

Asking to speak to the caterer would be massively overstepping. She is a bit prickly anyway. I imagine she would hit the roof if I contacted the caterers directly.

It's a work event with caterers and yes, there should absolutely be vegan options as part of the buffet if there are vegan staff attending. Where I work, if we're organising anything with food, we send out a form in advance for people to declare any dietary requirements and we make sure the caterer provides for them. I've done internal events for a few hundred people with buffets where we've had vegan platters, halal platters, kosher platters and gluten-free platters, for example. It's not even difficult to organise. Caterers do this stuff all the time!

So yes, the organiser isn't a very competent member of staff if she can't do this. Events like this should be as inclusive as possible.

I'm vegan. I'd go back to her and ask if she has managed to arrange some vegan food, just so you know if you'll be able to eat there.
If she says no then I'd eat before, after or take my own.
Its really unusual these days for vegans not to be catered for, but perhaps its outside of her experience.
Its not something I'd be taking umbridge over though. A lot of people have taken against vegans on principle (on here anyway, not my RL experience thankfully!) and make it their business to be eye rolly and difficult as possible, so I'd not be giving them the satisfaction of making a thing out of it for the sake of missing out on the possibility of some veganised beige stuff.

The caterers will definitely have vegan options.

do you know anyone in the HR team? If so id gently let them know that you couldn’t eat anything at the other event… maybe say you wanted to check whether in fact dietaries aren’t catered for and whether in future you should bring your own food? Then slip in that you’re thinking of not coming to the family event for that reason… and if they say oh just let X know you can say you have and she couldn’t guarantee it…

if it were a complicated set of dietaries it would be harder but vegan is pretty standard / easy!

Its around 35 years ago since I last went to a company event (husband's company, I worked in the NHS and everything we went to was bring a dish) Even then everybody invited got asked if there were any food requirements or allergies. They were all catered in local hotels and restaurants so they couldn't guarantee no cross contamination but definitely vegans would be catered for. Even then it was no big deal, invitees were asked, caterers were told, job done.

Since this is not the first time it's happened, why are you not speaking to your manager about this?

@Nopayrise I don't want to be seen to make a fuss. People really don't like vegans and I will just be drawing attention to myself. It's sad that my kids probably won't be able to go, but that's the world we live in.

It’s possible she didn’t mean it the way it sounded-pretty shit if she did, particularly if it’s catered, ffs! Can you ask her again? In any case it seems a shame to miss out on something fun. Go, and comment to the organisers afterwards so it won’t happen next year.

Actually, that's not quite true. I did come across a militant omnivore who had a problem with vegans, who huffed and puffed about supposing we'd have to arrange 'special food' for me. I just smiled sweetly and said "not at all. I'm here for the company. I can sort myself out". To which the senior person present immediately responded "No you won't." And insisted vegan food was made available.

As a vegan of 26 years I could expect all I want but it never has happened! Unless a green salad counts as a 'vegan option'!

The one exception for me was a work event where they had some vegetable samosas, labelled as vegan and instantly snapped up by everyone else. I got ONE.

Where did you get “people really don’t like vegans”?!
You seem to just want pity tbh as you don’t actually want to do anything about it, just want people to agree with you should be annoyed. “That’s the world we live in” is a bit much.

Wouldn't you find it an issue if you were invited to a work do and everyone was going to be catered for, except your family?

But on the 2026 consumer behaviour data only 1% of the population is vegan, so giving 99% their less preferred option seems a little bit excessive

Well that’s a jump isn’t it?

I am not vegan or veggie but my preferred option often is

And I think it’s more like 5 or 6% according to my favorite search engines top 10 answers

Don't make a martyr/victim of yourself. You're just playing into the stereotype. You either go higher and insist on your rights, or you use a work around so you don't create fuss, as I do.

And that’s why consumer purchase behaviour is more accurate, because people might say one thing is a survey but actually do another on a day to day basis

Wtf. Why should she?!

Yes this

go and have fun. She’ll probably have spoken to the caterer and they’ll have confirmed vegan available

If it’s catered through a company, I’d expect them to confirm that they can provide options. And tbh I’d assume most catering companies will do this.

I really felt for you up till this post as you clearly want pity and not support with solutions. Ridiculous.

Ooo because others have to pander to your needs!! There will be people allergic to nuts dairy wheat fish etc etc stop being precious and take your own food