Who was wrong

[PerhapsPerhapsMaybe]

I’m in the supermarket with my boyfriend and looking for a self serve till. I spot a free one and am about to start scanning when a woman walks up and “tells us off” for queue jumping. She points at a large line which I hadn’t noticed and rants on about it. So my boyfriend tells her to calm down which makes her even madder. I start laughing at her ridiculousness. Then a member of staff comes over and apologises - to her!

I mean I get that we didn’t realise there was a queue but talk about an overreaction!

Was me and my boyfriend wrong to laugh at her?

𝐀 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐌𝐍𝐇𝐐.
𝐓𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐏 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

I don't think laughing at her was appropriate or needed. An apology, as in 'I'm sorry we didn't realise' So, yes, it was wrong and uncalled for by you and your boyfriend.

We would have apologised if she’d calmly told us that there was a queue but she started off really rude with her tone telling us “there’s a massive queue” quite angrily. That’s why my boyfriend told her to calm down

Yes, you and your BF were wrong and very rude into the bargain.

Laughing at her was incendiary and uncalled for. It makes it seem like you were doing it on purpose and didn't like being caught out (not saying this is the case, more how it could reasonably look to everyone else).

How did you not notice the large queue? Queue jumpers are annoying and people wandering about oblivious to the world and just focused on what they want are also annoying.

I think we were just more taken aback by HER rude tone and responded as such

Because it started behind an aisle

Telling her to calm down was the first mistake - did he really, seriously think that was a useful thing to say?

But many other people managed to spot it.

I don't blame her for being annoyed. The supermarket must have been busy if there was a large queue and it makes the shopping experience stressful. So seeing queue jumpers is really annoying. And she may have been in a hurry herself.

Both you and your bf reacted badly when you were challenged.

I'm quite impressed that the supermarket employee apologised to her. Well done her for doing her job well.

Do you expect people to say this especially politely? It sounds like you projected your embarrassment and got nasty.

I get that it's an honest mistake, but you could also have been CFs. Your attitudes appeared to confirm CF status so I bet everyone in the queue was silently cheering her on for having said it.

So I take it you've never made a mistake in your life.

Yeah yabu. In all honesty, to look for a self serve machine and fail to check for a queue, as well as telling someone you have annoyed to calm down are both quite daft things to do.

Laughing at her probably cemented her view of the two of you as rude and stupid rather than someone who made a silly mistake.

Best you could have done was a genuine short apology and take her frustration with you on the chin.

Jumping the queue then inflaming the situation by laughing, yep you were in the wrong.

Surely as someone who is old enough to shop on their own you know that? How would you feel in that queue watching your behaviour?

I’m amazed that you couldn’t figure out on your own that you were unreasonable in this situation.

The supermarket worker clearly knew who was in the wrong, but you need to ask on Mumsnet??

You should have apologised profusely. Learn some manners.

This ^
‘Calm down’ followed by you stood there giggling, that’s like adding an accelerant!

Telling someone to calm down is never a good idea. Laughing at them isn't, either. Apologising, gathering up your items, and heading to the back of the queue was the only appropriate reaction.

You were obviously wrong. Ok you didn’t mean to annoy her by jumping the queue but laughing in her face is purposely winding her up.

Did you take your stuff and go to the back of the queue?

You behaved really badly. Embarrassing.

You were incredibly rude.

Your cheeky BF needed to calm down and as for laughing at her how old are you ? You need to grow up

Yes, you were (not 'was'), very rude. Are you kids?

Yep. She went batshit over a nothingburger. She could certainly have said something, and then you'd have said "Oh, I'm so sorry". But she chose to throw a hysterical tantrum, so she gets whatever reaction she gets.

She has very definitely made similar mistakes in her life, no doubt at all, and she'd have gone absolutely apeshit if someone had approached her shouting and carrying on about it.

Laughing at her was great, actually. There is nothing better than just cheerfully laughing at someone going off their head about nothing. Puts them firmly in their place and ruins their attempted moment of bullying glory.

It's kind of standard to expect queues in supermarkets, and to be aware of other shoppers waiting to pay as well; but yes, if you make a mistake, you apologise and correct it.

Mockingly laughing at somebody for informing you of your quite easily avoidable error really is rather nasty. It's a bit like the equivalent of asking the police if they don't have any 'real criminals' to catch, if they pull you over and ask if you realise that you were speeding; rather than apologising and promising to be more careful.