Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to say no to sisters request for no alcohol over Xmas?

507 replies

ChristmasDrinking · Yesterday 03:29

My sister has been in a relationship with a man since May. He used to have alcohol issues but has apparently been sober for 3 years. He seems nice and they seem happy.

We take it in turn to host Christmas and this year is our year. Everyone usually comes on Christmas Eve and goes home on Boxing Day. We have a party on Christmas Eve which includes alcohol, Christmas Day which includes drinks with dinner and a few drinks through the afternoon/evening and then a chilled out Boxing Day, which is usually a long walk with our dogs and a late lunch before everyone leaves.

My sister has requested that there be no alcohol this year due to her partner. I’m not particularly bothered as I don’t drink much, but my husband, adult children, my brother and his wife and my adult nieces would like to be able to have a drink.

I have suggested that my sister and her partner just come for Christmas dinner and we’ll have it with no alcohol, but she wants to be here for as long as everyone else. She is saying her partner is family and we should all be willing to have no alcohol for him.

AIBU to say no to her and that they can either just come for an alcohol free dinner, or accept that there will be some alcohol around due to it being our house, Christmas and other people wanting it.

OP posts:
MonsterRottenLoony · Yesterday 23:22

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · Yesterday 21:35

Well it is actually. More important than having one extra partner involved for several days, rather than the alcohol free meal he was invited to. If 9/10 people want to enjoy alcohol over the Christmas period then their wishes trump the 1/10. Don't forget he was invited for dinner and offered for it to be dry, but the sister says that's not enough for some reason.

I think it’s sad if the value of the holiday is more linked to alcohol than who’s there. You’re welcome to think differently.

Shloopie · Yesterday 23:25

Not a hope I'd entertain the sister's request.

Notonthestairs · Yesterday 23:27

MonsterRottenLoony · Yesterday 23:22

I think it’s sad if the value of the holiday is more linked to alcohol than who’s there. You’re welcome to think differently.

You make it sound like the Op hasn’t offered a dry Christmas lunch - she’s extended a workable compromise and been rejected. Save your criticisms for her sister.

MissSookieStackhouse · Yesterday 23:30

Your sister doesn’t get to dictate that every one has a ‘dry’ Christmas just to accommodate some bloke she started seeing in May. As for her saying he’s ‘‘family” that’s bonkers after such a short time. If she doesn’t like it, she and the boyfriend can make their own arrangements. Why spoil the entire family Christmas for some Johnny come lately they barely even know!

CruCru · Yesterday 23:37

If I had been seeing someone since May and found out that they’d told their family that I am family, I’d run a mile. It’s too intense too soon.

PollyBell · Yesterday 23:41

MonsterRottenLoony · Yesterday 23:22

I think it’s sad if the value of the holiday is more linked to alcohol than who’s there. You’re welcome to think differently.

Which post said this?

Letsgonowthen · Yesterday 23:47

bostonchamps · Yesterday 22:46

Tell me you don’t understand alcoholism without telling me…

ps nobody is an ‘ex-alcoholic’. You can be in recovery, but you’re still an alcoholic.

What's your point? If I "understood" alcoholism would I be more likely to say everyone should drink around them without qualms?

If they are always recovering and never cured surely that is even more reason to not drink around them.

Would not drinking around them harm them? No. Would drinking around them harm them? Possibly, if they are tempted surely.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread