AIBU for telling my son that who I date is none of his business?

[OneJollyTealLemur]

To keep it short, I was recently approached by a guy at the gym, and we just hit it off from the start. We're both really into working out, exercise in general, sports and that sort of thing. I'm having an absolute blast with him as my fitness buddy and boyfriend. The thing is, he's 27 and I'm 53. This past weekend, he was staying over at my place when my son turned up for a visit unannounced. I've kept this relationship private because I've never been one to make a big deal out of my dating life, so my son had no idea. To say my son wasn't happy about my new boyfriend would be an understatement. When we were alone, he said he'd really appreciate it if I ended things with this guy because he finds the whole thing embarrassing and weird. I told him that it was none of his business. He's 31, has a girlfriend and a life of his own, and he can do as he pleases, just as I can. He just scoffed and said, "Whatever." I've been thinking about the whole thing ever since, but I honestly can't see why I should have to justify my personal life to my fully grown son.

I don't think YABU. My dad's current wife is 5 years younger than me and it didn't bother me at all, not that I'd have said anything if it did. They're both grown ups and they were happy.

If your son was a child and living at home, then I would take it into consideration, but he's a full grown adult, with his own life, who doesn't get an input as to who you date when it doesn't affect him in any way, except that he finds it a bit icky.

Just be discrete…

Your son shouldn’t be letting himself in with a key, so you need some rules around that.

I can't imagine that would be an issue again. There's no way I'd drop by unannounced ever again in his place. Probably better for all involved.

You're jealous!

Eeeew.

You'd never have visited your father ever again because he was dating an adult you decided was the wrong age?

I can understand him feeling mortified but you’re correct - you can date who you like .
Id be very concerned about my DM dating someone almost half her age but I’d have to accept there’s not much I can do do about it

We are talking here about finding people younger than your children sexually attractive. For me, that's a big No-No. Huge ick factor.

I’m not even going to try explain that to you. Pointless

@User3353821614

i am! OP sounds like she is having fun, looking after herself and her appearance, lots of fitness, enjoying sex, and not worrying about what her son or anyone else thinks… actually when I think about it all things that a lot of women on here abhor from other women
🤣

There both adults and there is nothing wrong with it at all !
2 people having a connection doesn't have anything to do with with age as long as their adults and both enjoying themselves!!
Op your son should stay out of your business
Good luck and enjoy yourself 😁

@Makebelieveanotherlife

Cos you know it’s really not the big problem you’re making it out to be

Ha, I wonder what age the posters who think this as revolting are compared to those who think it's fine?

I bet the ones who are against are mostly young.

Keep that fkn shit out of the family home! What the Hell is wrong with you?

Women tend to go for personalities, things to connect over, other than just looks though.

This is the most misogynistic thing I’ve read in a while. Even the ‘warnings’ are barbs wrapped in concern.
op it’s not his business, enjoy things! If worst comes to worst tell ds you’re ’friends’ now hahaha

You haven't done anything wrong as far as I can see.
You haven't flaunted your new friendship/man friend so I really don't think your son can complain or judge.
He showed up unannounced, maybe he should let you know he's on his way next time?
If there are no issues with you or Mr Gym bunny that would prevent you from legally consenting to a sexual relationship then crack on.

The age gap isn't for everyone, people will judge. Its human nature.

@ByWittyLimePoet

eh? It’s OP’s house! She can do what she wants in it so long as it’s legal

Shagging someone four years younger than your son, in the family home, and being upset that your son finds it weird...IS WEIRD!

No ones saying you cant do exactly what the Hell you want, but..

There are lines I would not cross and that's because I have a DEEP respect for my children's emotional wellbeing and realise that, as a Mum, there are certain behaviours I just could not entertain in the family home.

Just because you can do whatever the fuck you want, does not mean you should in the FAMILY home. Find a fucking hotel for that shit!

Nope!

@ByWittyLimePoet

it’s not the family home though. Her son has his own home.
and respect goes both ways.
he is old enough to respect his mother and her autonomy

@ByWittyLimePoet

lol as if Op is gonna fork out for a hotel when she is an empty house they can use! Nah

Yuck.

Snap! Can you imagine if OP was saying her 53 year old ex was with a new GF that much younger?