Neighbours complained about Autistic Son

[NatureandBee]

Just found out that my next door neighbours have complained about my autistic DS. The complaint was related to him shouting in the garden(he’s non verbal and he vocally stims) and how he sometimes has no clothes on in the garden and their grandchildren can see him.

They put in a complaint to my HA and I wish they had spoken to me first. I do understand how loud he can be and I try hard to keep him dressed. The fences are high but they can see into my garden from their bedroom windows.

He’s not out there from morning til night, only in the school holidays and after school for a bit. I also work and he stays with his Dad for part of the week.

I feel so on edge now and feel like I can’t have him in the garden in case they complain again, I’m also a single parent and it makes me feel vulnerable that they have an issue with us.

They are an older couple with an immaculate garden/house. I do understand how they like to enjoy peace and quiet in their garden and obviously they deserve to not be disturbed.

I’m ashamed to say I cried when I was told of the complaint, I’m embarrassed now 🙈

In the summer he was out in the garden til maybe 6.30/7 (not all day though) and now he comes in at 5.30 for his tea/bath. He doesn’t shout continuously but when he does it is loud. He wanders around a lot, playing.

Can you put up one of those sail type sunshades at an angle so it blocks at least part of your garden from view of their upstairs windows? I don’t think you should have to (I am subject to seeing my neighbours sunbathing almost or actually naked every time I open my bathroom window on a sunny day, but I’d never say anything as they’re in their own enclosed garden) but it might reduce your stress a bit.

The noise is less easily dealt with, but as long as it’s not at antisocial hours, I don’t think they have an upholdable complaint.

It sounds like you’re justifying his nudity because he was in a swimming pool. I think any sign of clothes off and he’s indoors. He’s far too old to be running about naked.

Yes.

Ours is in 14-15 clothes and I buy the M&S adaptable onesies, they zip up the back and go up to 15-16.

But how many hours per day in the summer- 1, or 8?

Thanks! I’ll look into those ☺️

How many hours are everyone else’s kids allowed to play in their garden?

If a non-disabled kid is allowed to spend x amount of hours in their own garden playing in the warmer months, so are ours.

End of story.

Them talking to you first would have changed nothing. Unless you say you would have done something about it.
Hearing someone yelling and screaming in a garden is not nice. And the naked bit is inappropriate too.

Why does that matter? He's disabled not a werewolf.

Honestly - game changer.

I actually bought them for bed because he kept stripping and wetting the bed.

They’ve got a full zip up the back, and a securing button at the top, he is unable to get out of it.

People will complain if there is excessive noise- whether the kid is non disabled or disabled. 1 hour a day is more bearable than 8 hours a day.

I know the struggle my 16 year old is severley autistic and likes to strip
School have got him some Unitards to try and maintain his dignity
Unfortunatley many people just wont get it.

If he is non verbal at 10 he is obviously on the very severe end of the spectrum. He wouldn't understand the concept.

So for the other 7 hours she locks him in the house? Jesus christ.

I would conterclaim that your neighbours apparently think it is appropriate of them to peer into your garden at your undressed son. Somebody should be asking questions of the father that's for sure.

Don’t be absurd- is “locking him in the house” the only other option?

Well yeah but he doesnt know that
And is no doubt compelled ro steip.

Quite!

He's only 10.

The OP said that he is not yelling and screaming. He is an autistic child who is stimming. You cannot just tell him to “keep the noise down or you will upset the neighbors”. He deserves a chance to enjoy himself.

Def not 8 hours especially with all the heat waves we had! I take him out a lot, we go on holidays and I work too so definitely not all day everyday of the summer holidays but if it was, so what? He is entitled like any other child to enjoy their own garden. There are kids and families all around us and I hear kids crying, screaming, playing etc all the time.

Kids playing in their garden isn’t excessive noise, provided it’s not at unsociable times.

Which to be clear, legally means between 11pm and 7am.

I think we all understand that but a compromise needs to be made as the neighbours still have a right to peaceful enjoyment of their own property. I would absolutely sympathise with a child who has a disability but that doesn’t out trump or completely remove everyone else’s rights to peaceful enjoyment of their homes.

Yoive done nothing wrong op. Some people are clueless regarding the needs of people with complex needs.

You obviously have no experience with ND people. He is naked in his own garden, not running up and down the street. They should not be looking into her garden when he is there.