You're 8 now, old enough to do it yourself

[Angrycatnoises]

Do you agree?

Dd when she finished her bowl of pomegranate seeds on the sofa asked Dh to go and put it in the kitchen please. Each time this happens or she asks for a drink/snack, he says she should take it back herself etc. I tend to do it mostly for her, she's very independent, always has been, sorts her own school bag, homework, showers etc, but she's still only young and it's not too much that a parent brings her food and drinks, is it?!

Dh and I disagree a little on this

How much do you do for your 8 year old (or around that age)?

My 2 & 5 year olds return dishes etc to the kitchen counter, sink or dishwasher. However, I've been teaching them to do this since they could walk as well as put their dirty clothes into the laundry basket. 🤷‍♀️
So, I don't think 8 is too young for OP's child.

My 2 year old puts his empty bowls and cups in the sink himself 90% of the time. I would lol if he asked me at 8. And no I am not a cold hearted witch. V attachment focused still co sleep/breast feed etc. It is a simple task, isnt it. You aren't asking her to rinse it out, wash up/put in dishwasher etc are you? 😂

You said mostly in the OP.
I don't see the issue though. If you're happy to do it for her then do it, if your DH doesn't want to he doesn't have to. Why do you need to act the same as each other?

I'm going to don my hard hat and agree with some (very few) people above that there's nothing wrong with sometimes taking a child's bowl to the kitchen for them, especially if you're up anyway. (Not the same if it becomes an expectation on their part, though.)

And I don't get the outrage about pomegranate seeds. I just checked and 200g is £2.50 from Tesco, roughly the same price as berries...

My Dd is almost 24 and living independently, on a recent visit home we had takeaway and she ended up with a side table full of bits to be cleared, I told her to clear it before she went to bed, she said ' will you help me?, you do half' I absolutely refused. I would have helped her at 8 years old, but I can't help thinking did this make her assume I would always clear up after her, not sure 🤔

But obviously it was an expectation for her dad to take it. Mine would've also came out with the " what did your last slave die of" comment. My DD has been known to point out to her 5 year old" I'm your mother not your servant" if laziness occurs

wh I was younger than that it was usually me taking empty cups etc into the kitchen as well as being asked to make cups of tea. My own dc have disabilities my son does take to the kitchen. My daughter would but going in the kitchen seems to trigger her seizures. So unless she needs to go in there it’s usually me.

My four year old takes her empty bowls to the kitchen.

Does she have additional needs/mobility needs? Kids usually put their own plates away from being in nursery. Obviously if you're concerned about putting it in a dishwasher where there are sharp knives, ok, but most people get them involved in washing up/clearing way younger. At nursery parties, most of the kids clear up.

I'm with your husband on this, your 9 year old is old enough to bring something to the kitchen. My 3 year old grand daughter empties any remains into the compost caddy and puts her dishes in the dishwasher. They're never too young to learn.

Sorry, hubby is right. And she's old enough to get a drink herself aged 8.

Why is she asking DH to do this? Most would just get up and put the bowl away. I agree 1000% with DH

Interested to know OP at what age do you think it’s appropriate to expect her to start clearing her stuff away? Is there an age when you will tell her she has to clear up after herself? Or will it be a case of waiting for her to just start doing it herself? Because self entitled child will turn into a (nightmare) self entitled teen.

Very overheard in Waitrose!

The health visitor commented on my 2.5 year old being 'independent' when I told her her bowl of apple slices was in the kitchen and she went off to fetch it. I thought it was a strange observation as she was so obviously capable of fetching her own snack. That comment makes a lot more sense now if this is what's going on in some households with Key Stage 2 children 🤦‍♀️

Dunno why you’re getting hate for the pomegranate seeds.

my 2yo loves them & we have them all the time?

i am far from middle class. Dad was a builder, we didn’t have tonnes of money growing up. Etc

but I like them, he tried some so I started adding them to our shop now and then, seeing as they’re one of the few fruits he’ll consistently eat.

also, I’ve seen the shit ppl feed their kids after school. I’m quite happy to give those, some breadsticks and a bit of cheese.

I expect my 4 year old to return his plates/cups to the kitchen sink and I consider myself quite soft. I make his snacks but I do think it is important that children learn to clean up after themselves, I think it would be easy to get used to having someone else do it for them & then it is hard to undo. I also expect him to put his clothes in the laundry basket and tidy up his toys (with my help if needed), which I see as the same sort of thing.

Why? Pomegranate is delicious and very healthy.

My first Browni badge was hostess I believe (making cups of tea) closely followed by housekeeping (using Brasso to clean brass). Bringing and taking away food like this is fine for tiddlers and unfortunately teaching her to treat others as her own personal servants. The other children at school will not want to be her friend if she treats then like this.

Team DH, she's just being lazy

My 7 yo has been making her own sandwiches for months now. She’s been fetching things like apples or other snacks from the kitchen for years. I can’t remember an age where she didn’t put her own plate/bowl etc in the sink. Must have been when she was in a high chair? She used to have plastic plates and bowls so she could just chuck them in.

I am with your DH.

I can hear my dead mammy's voice reverberating in my head:

"What did your last slave die from, wee yin??"

😅