You're 8 now, old enough to do it yourself

[Angrycatnoises]

Do you agree?

Dd when she finished her bowl of pomegranate seeds on the sofa asked Dh to go and put it in the kitchen please. Each time this happens or she asks for a drink/snack, he says she should take it back herself etc. I tend to do it mostly for her, she's very independent, always has been, sorts her own school bag, homework, showers etc, but she's still only young and it's not too much that a parent brings her food and drinks, is it?!

Dh and I disagree a little on this

How much do you do for your 8 year old (or around that age)?

I've not done a 180, I put it on for others opinions and the consensus seems to be overwhelmingly that most would not take the bowls/plates. It's made me think about it and reconsider that she should take herself. Isn't that the whole point of asking opinions?
You're very invested and very keen to be nasty, I don't understand why

Maybe she could also be taught to take anybody else’s bowls, plates, mugs etc out to the kitchen too and stack in the dishwasher.

Read above-what would even be wrong with that anyway? As I said I am open to opinions and not afraid to reassess if things can be done differently. Looking at the overwhelming difference in opinion, obviously they can be done differently!
What is wrong with this?

Nope. I'm infertile and can't have more.
Took 8 years of struggles, losses and IVF to have her.

Something mean to say about that too?

You really have nothing better to do, do you.

I tell my 3 year old to put his Apple cores in the bin rather than handing them to me. Couldn’t imagine being a servant for an 8 year old!

This is what I was thinking.

Does she do this, OP?

Yes after dinner from the table sometimes

I’m sorry for your fertility struggles ❤️

I can imagine all of that heartbreak may have subconsciously made you want to ‘look after’ her more when she finally arrived x

@Angrycatnoises Does your Dd have age appropriate chores that she has to do regularly? You should be teaching her that she has to help out around the home like any other family member. You can see from the replies here that it's normal and healthy to teach children to pitch in.

My friend has just started the toddler on being expected to take her bowl and put it by the dishwasher. Having realised they'd fallen into the trap with her and her older sister of just doing this stuff for them. Set the expectation early that you clear up after yourself.

My 7 years old has known to put her dirty plates away for at least 2 years now. We're working on her putting her dirty laundry in the basket now...Sometimes, I'll take someone's plate away just because it's a kindness we do for each other. Otherwise, we're responsible for our own clearing.

My mum says this too, but I don't know
Thank you for the kind words Xx

@Roomview Why are you harassing the OP ?

She asked if she was being unreasonable. Overwhelmingly people have agreed with her dh, and she has taken that on board.

Surely that is the point of finding out if people generally think YABU or YANBU.

It is quite refreshing on this board, to have a poster who takes on board what other people think and reconsider what their original opinion was.

It’s not often I’m Team DH 🤣 but I think he’s absolutely right.
The longer you leave it, the harder it is going to be to get her to pull her weight around the house when she’s older.

My 4 year old DGS takes his empty plate to the kitchen and his rubbish to the bin.
I bring him drinks and snacks, if help is needed, but if its an apple from the fruit bowl, he asks, i say yes, and he goes to the kitchen and gets it.
So I'm team DH here.

It sres

Old wives tale re the pomegranate. DB and I used to eat 3 or 4 a day when they were in season, so approximately 60 over a 3 week period. Neither of us have suffered any side effects.

OP, 8 is old enough to carry your own bowl into the kitchen. It’s old enough to be making your own sandwich even, that’s being independent.