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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You're 8 now, old enough to do it yourself

287 replies

Angrycatnoises · Yesterday 19:02

Do you agree?

Dd when she finished her bowl of pomegranate seeds on the sofa asked Dh to go and put it in the kitchen please. Each time this happens or she asks for a drink/snack, he says she should take it back herself etc. I tend to do it mostly for her, she's very independent, always has been, sorts her own school bag, homework, showers etc, but she's still only young and it's not too much that a parent brings her food and drinks, is it?!

Dh and I disagree a little on this

How much do you do for your 8 year old (or around that age)?

OP posts:
Original poster
Angrycatnoises · Yesterday 22:37

Freshrain · Yesterday 22:11

@Roomview Why are you harassing the OP ? Hmm

She asked if she was being unreasonable. Overwhelmingly people have agreed with her dh, and she has taken that on board.

Surely that is the point of finding out if people generally think YABU or YANBU.

It is quite refreshing on this board, to have a poster who takes on board what other people think and reconsider what their original opinion was.

Thanks!

So frustrating as what was there to argue with me about-just bizarre

OP posts:
AutumnLoverButNotYet · Yesterday 22:54

MiaKulper · Yesterday 19:11

Why is she eating on the sofa?

Because it's their house and their rules, not your house and your rules.

It was a bowl of pomegranate seeds not a four course meal.

EvieBB · Yesterday 22:58

BeardySchnauzer · Yesterday 19:05

I find it really odd that she would ask him to take it back tbh unless he was already going. To me that’s teaching her to be disrespectful of other people’s time

also, be careful eating too many pomegranate seeds

What's wrong with eating too many please? 🤔

vladimirVsvolodymr · Yesterday 22:59

My 5 year old daughter puts away her used dishes a lot of the time. In our case, her dad does it for her and if she forgets when I’m there, I remind her to take it to the sink. She now does it most of the time.

AutumnLoverButNotYet · Yesterday 23:03

Hankunamatata · Yesterday 19:33

Agree with dh. She is more than old enough to return it to the kitchen and put in dishwasher or wash it. Surely just encourages her to ask people to do things she is perfectly capable of doing.

My response would be 'what did your last slave die of'

Edited

Exhaustion!!

or a flogging for being so disobedient!!

🤣🤣🤣

I'm amazed it took so far through the thread for someone to say it!!🤣🤣

AutumnLoverButNotYet · Yesterday 23:06

twothingscanbetrue · Yesterday 19:38

Am I perfectly capable of taking my own dirty dish/cup/glass to the kitchen....yes. Is it lovely when someone who cares for me does it for me? Absolutely. And I'm nearly 40.

It's my kids (7&5) job to clear the table after meals, load the dishwasher etc, but sometimes DH or I do it instead because honestly it's just nice as a family to do things for eachother sometimes... right?!

You say she's switched on doing all sorts of other things so presumably she's able to take her own bowl, if you want to do something nice for her that's also fine?

Not sure there's an issue really.

Edited

But this isn't entirely different this isn't someone just doing something to be helpful or nice. It's a child asking parent to get up to specifically take her used bowl into the kitchen for her., something she's more than capable of doing for herself and her dad wasn't offering or just taking it on his way through.

Miniatureschnauzers · Yesterday 23:18

Angrycatnoises · Yesterday 22:03

Yes after dinner from the table sometimes

Show quote history

Omg this is giving me food for thought. I am always doing things like that for my DD and tidying up after her; yours does masses more than mine does. At times she has been known to refuse to put her orange peel in the bin!

pinkpony88 · Yesterday 23:19

My DGS is not 4 yet and takes his pots into the kitchen. 🤷‍♀️

Han2006 · Yesterday 23:23

Agree with your DH.
My 1 year old takes her plate/cup/rubbish into the kitchen as she’s copied her 5 year old brother who has been taught to do this.
It’s a good lesson, Your DH did a very good job at parenting your dd, you should be very grateful.

Bellie710 · Yesterday 23:38

Why are there so many parents that treat their children like princes/princesses? There are some things that kids can't do like cutting up fruit or using a sharp knife but WTAF are you teaching your children by not getting them to clear away their plates or get their own drink. My kids from about 4 were putting things in the dishwasher, if DH was passing to the kitchen then maybe but to expect the little princess to have her dishes collected and dropped off in the kitchen is nuts! Although the fact that you have felt the need to say her pomegranate seed bowl rather than just her plate/bowl suggests it might not have actually happened!

Original poster
Angrycatnoises · Today 00:04

Bellie710 · Yesterday 23:38

Why are there so many parents that treat their children like princes/princesses? There are some things that kids can't do like cutting up fruit or using a sharp knife but WTAF are you teaching your children by not getting them to clear away their plates or get their own drink. My kids from about 4 were putting things in the dishwasher, if DH was passing to the kitchen then maybe but to expect the little princess to have her dishes collected and dropped off in the kitchen is nuts! Although the fact that you have felt the need to say her pomegranate seed bowl rather than just her plate/bowl suggests it might not have actually happened!

What on earth are you on about? It happened, why wouldn't it have. I said that because it had literally just happened and I suppose there wasn't much to put away as it only had seeds and remains in, why would that mean it didn't happen!

OP posts:
Mumtobabyhavoc · Today 00:12

I'm always genuinely baffled to return to a thread with a seemingly tame topic to find multiple posts deleted. What is wrong with some people? 🤦‍♀️

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