Fed up with ex working at my workplace

[OneGreyBiscuit]

For context - split with ex march 25, was told he would be working in my dept at work where I've worked for ten years as he'd applied for drivers job there. Understandably I wasn't happy but just asked if he could be kept off my shifts. This worked to begin with but lately he's been in on my shifts more and more. Im finding this really unfair and am still angry they took him on in the first place, knowing the history. The two in charge who took him on couldn't care less about how this would affect me, so I feel like I've got nowhere to go and have to accept this. Would anyone else feel the same?

They have to recruit using a policy & process. If they bypassed that process to recruit someone they knew or refused a job because it was someone another member of staff didn't want them there would be serious consequences for that manager in terms of employment law.

The recruitment process is designed to prevent that.

@OneGreyBiscuit- several things can be true. It’s true it’s shitty of him to get a job at your place of work. It’s true it’s shitty of him to not pay child support. It’s also true your employer has no duty to consider your feelings when picking the best candidate for a role they need to fill.

Think carefully, has he done anything wrong at work? Not with you, but at work. If not, they have no reason not to treat him the same as any other employee. They may well have decided he’s more important to them than you.

You need to do several things, not just be angry.

firstly- go for child support, don’t leave it to his choice. You can get that taken directly from his wage and you know where he works. (This might make a petty man quit). Do not feel the need to discuss it with him.

secondly, ask your manager again if you can avoid being on the same shift as him.

thirdly start looking for a new job. He has no right to know where you are going and when you resign state clearly you don’t want your new employer to be public knowledge at work and say you are resigning because you feel your employer has not supported you.

Well, you know where he works so chase up the CMS and seek payment of arrears. That’ll probably get rid of him.

Change the things you can change.

Yeh he is a arse. He did it to spite you. But you are bothered by it. Either put up with it or leave. They are gunna sack him or manage his shift just cos it’s what you want.

Because as horrible as it feels for you it doesn't matter why. Nor does the child maintenance matter in relation to work. As long as he is polite to you and doesn't mess about at work he is ok to work there.

With regards to childmaintenance that is a separate issue not directly involved in where you both work. If he doesn't pay report him and get the money taken directly out of his wages. That is one of few times your work will get involved.

Why aren’t you claiming via CMS?

Surely this means you can chase him for child support now? I'd say something along those lines 'hey Steve, it's great to know exactly what hours you work now and how much you get paid so I can review your child support with the CSA'. That'll make him quit!

This @OneGreyBiscuit make it work for you - put in a CMS claim and keep quiet and bide your time, don’t let anyone in the office know anymore, keep your powder dry.

In an ideal world your Employer would be in a position to consider your feelings. But it’s hard to get reliable staff in a lot of roles nowadays. So while I get that you’re annoyed (and of course if he has done this on purpose he is a twat) the company just wants to get someone in the role. It is hard but I’m afraid there is not much to be done.

If he sees you ignoring him, he’ll soon get fed up. But keep your boundaries “yes we work in the same place but we’ll stick to texting for child arrangements etc”

Yes.

It is not your employers responsibility to sort this out- this is your private life, it has nothing to do with your work and unless he has broken work rules which you said he hasn't then its utterly ludicrous to expect your employers to be acting like your bloody parents.

If you dont like working with him then be a grown up and get another job.

Good grief. The things I read on here.

I can understand why you're a angry about it and he's clearly an arse. Its your personal problem not your employers. On the a good note you know hes working and what he earns. Put in a new cms claim.

Employers really don't care about your personal life. As my old manager used to say 'you need to leave these things at the door'. You need to suck it up and just get on with your work. Does you role require you to talk to him? If not, just ignore him. If it does keep it short but civil.

yes it's annoying. But they have done what they have done.

what if you were to decide that it's not going to bother you?

You could also take every opportunity of seeing him to remind him that he owes you maintenance for his son, loudly enough that everyone hears

Christ don't do this it's so unprofessional. You'll just be making yourself look childish, it won't reflect well on you.

Now you know exactly where he works and what he earns to get CMS involved. Tell him you are going after back payments and hope he quits.

I don’t think anyone disagrees that it is weird that he applied for a job working with you if the relationship ended poorly.

However, this information isn’t something that can affect a recruitment decision. Employers need to be fair in hiring. This is what is legal.

If you don’t like working with him you need to leave and find a new job or just ignore him. Your response to this, is a little immature.

Yep, this is almost definitely par of her ex's plan, "get job there, wind her up, my continued presence will cause her to lose her rag in front of her long-standing employer and colleagues, I then get to look the reasonable one by comparison"

Her employer could then go full corporate HR and view this as "long-standing employee having issues with new employee".. even though that doesn't remotely describe the situation for OP personally.

Its a shit situation to be in

As others have said, best thing to do is quietly weaponise it against him behind the scenes by alerting Child Support he's earning and continue on as normal with an IDGAF face.

You never know, they may promote her to be his manager and she finds performance reasons to sack him

No one would be okay with it, but the firm won't have grounds to dismiss him or to rearrange his shifts.

I can think of umpteen cases where teaching staff had to encounter an ex at work. Not pleasant, but they had to get through it.

Frankly your personal life is not your employer's problem.

If there was a history of abuse and you had concerns for your safety that would be a different story.

But the fact that you dated and broke up with someone in your workplace does not give you the right to dictate when and where someone can work.

All you are going to achieve is annoy your employer.

If your ex isnt paying maintenance then put in a claim through CMS. If he still doesnt pay then your employer will be contacted and asked to organise payments directly off his wages. So they'll know he's a shit.

That sounds good, but I'd be tempted NOT to tell him. Report him to CMS and get him into trouble with them, but do nothing that can be used against you at work, @OneGreyBiscuit .

I’m not quite sure what you expect your employer to do? Your personal life should not be a consideration in their hiring process. I would hate it too, but you have two choices - either suck it up and ignore him as much as you can or find a new job.

People don't pick their employment and livelihood just to mess with their ex. Your reading way to much into it. Your employers don't care and they shouldn't, as long as his job performance is good.

while workplaces and personal life are USUALLY separate things, with employers expecting employees to work with people they don't like or get on with, without having to act as pseudo-parents to adults...

your post seems to be missing the word empathy

Just ignore the cunt. He will leave when he realises you just don’t GIF

At least you can claim CMS through his work now-every cloud and all that