Page 10 | Fed up with ex working at my workplace

Scarlettpixie · 17/10/2026 13:02

As often gets said, you can't control what other people do, only how you react to it.

Your employer should have employed the best candidate for the job. That's how it works in my line of work. Personal relationships wouldn't and shoudn't come into it, unless they affect the parties ability to do their jobs.

If he is a driver, presumably he is usually out driving and you don't see him all that much? Similarly you don't see him if he is skiving in the canteen. Include the fact that you won't always be on the same shift, how much do you actually need to interact? Why are you checking to see if he is on the same shift and then stressing you might bump into him when he his. Just ignore him unless you need to discuss something work related.

Noone is saying you shouldn't be a bit pissed off that he has chosen to get a job there if you prefer not to see him but that isn't something your employers need to take into account. Since you can't change whether or not he works there, the only way out of this is for you to leave but as you say why should you? Just ignore him.

Original poster

OneGreyBiscuit · 17/10/2026 15:33

GreyCarpet · 17/10/2026 12:43

Claim the CMS!

She isn't going to. She isn't going to because it would be a benefit to him getting this job and she doesn't want to want to find a benefit because she feels that, if she does, that could lead to a positive outcome.

She doesn't want a positive outcome because she wants to remain a victim in this situation. If there is a positive element, she doesn't want it because then people might start to see her sitiation as not wholly negative and, at the moment, she can't face that challenge to her feelings.

Of course, given that one of her earliest complaints on here about him was that he doesn't pay maintenance, it would seem sensible to claim. But she won't.

She says she os worried it would give him more reason to contact her.

She doesn't have to speak to him; he already works at her workplace theres notich more he could do; if he contacted her maliciously or began actually harassing her, she would have genuine reason to complain to management about him. But she won't.

Thanks for answering for me! I spoke to the manager who I vented to on Tuesday this morning and said he'll hear no more from me and I've put on my big girl pants but I like to play the victim, cheers!👍

OP posts:

Whattodo1610 · 18/10/2026 11:10

Thecatspantaloons · 17/10/2026 06:05

😳.
OP, you don't think they're trying to manage you out of the company do you?

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Not sure why you tagged me and what your 😳 is supposed to mean?

BlueMum16 · 18/10/2026 11:21

OneGreyBiscuit · 15/10/2026 11:29

On another note if I go to CMS and he claims he can't do his job properly because of the stress of paying towards his child, are they going to see me as the problem again?

CMS and where he works are separate.

Claim for your child. He should be paying for them. Take some control back.

If he doesn't want to pay he might quit the job. Win. Win.

JHound · 18/10/2026 12:08

OneGreyBiscuit · 13/10/2026 10:37

For context - split with ex march 25, was told he would be working in my dept at work where I've worked for ten years as he'd applied for drivers job there. Understandably I wasn't happy but just asked if he could be kept off my shifts. This worked to begin with but lately he's been in on my shifts more and more. Im finding this really unfair and am still angry they took him on in the first place, knowing the history. The two in charge who took him on couldn't care less about how this would affect me, so I feel like I've got nowhere to go and have to accept this. Would anyone else feel the same?

YABU.

Why should you romantic life be of concern to your company’s hiring decisions?

JHound · 18/10/2026 12:10

OneGreyBiscuit · 13/10/2026 11:13

Just as an aside, this bloke pays absolutely zero in child maintenance for his 15 year old, it's all on me and you're all suggesting I should just leave my job because of him?

We’re not saying you should leave.

We are saying there is no reason your employer should care. If you don’t want to work with him you will have to leave.

Thecatspantaloons · 18/10/2026 14:24

Whattodo1610 · 18/10/2026 11:10

Not sure why you tagged me and what your 😳 is supposed to mean?

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I was trying to politely agree with you that the OP was coming off a little salty and if any of her replies were anything to go by, then maybe they don't care if she left.
I was trying to be subtle 🤭 obviously didn't work.

Whattodo1610 · 18/10/2026 14:29

Thecatspantaloons · 18/10/2026 14:24

I was trying to politely agree with you that the OP was coming off a little salty and if any of her replies were anything to go by, then maybe they don't care if she left.
I was trying to be subtle 🤭 obviously didn't work.

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Ahaha sorry, I was just totally confused 😂
I’m glad you agree 😁 There comes a time in life when you need to change your thinking and responses, otherwise you’ll go mad .. this is one of those times for OP.