Fed up with ex working at my workplace

[OneGreyBiscuit]

For context - split with ex march 25, was told he would be working in my dept at work where I've worked for ten years as he'd applied for drivers job there. Understandably I wasn't happy but just asked if he could be kept off my shifts. This worked to begin with but lately he's been in on my shifts more and more. Im finding this really unfair and am still angry they took him on in the first place, knowing the history. The two in charge who took him on couldn't care less about how this would affect me, so I feel like I've got nowhere to go and have to accept this. Would anyone else feel the same?

All people are saying here OP is that your failed relationship with him has NOTHING to do with your employers at all. You are hurt and angry, but you are acting very childlike in expecting your employers to put your love life ahead of their hiring system.

Sorry but its simple. This is not your employers problem.

Don't tell me, these people are your friends? Then they're just saying what you want to hear. You must have known you'd get a variety of opinions on MN.

If he's been there a while he's obviously good at what he does. No one is going to sack him because you feel uncomfortable.

I understand your frustration and annoyance at the situation, and yes, of course he is doing this to get back at you. But as PP have said, there is no requirement for your employer to make adjustments around your personal life. However, he has handed you a gift on a silver platter - go straight to CMS and ask for backpay (if this is possible) and a formal arrangement for monthly payments. He can't say that he hasn't been / isn't employed - he clearly is, and you have irrefutable evidence of this.

Ultimately, YANBU to not like otnpr be fed up about it; YABU to expect your employer to take employee's relationship history into account when hiring. Unless, as others have said, there is a restraining order, abuse or something tangible they can respond to.

And, yes, get on to CMS. You know where he works, after all.

Grey rock and chase him for maintenance, OP.
Living well is the best revenge.

I'd hate an ex to turn up at my workplace if he'd applied out of spite - but there's naff all you can do about it since he was recruited formally and in line with policy, you're being unreasonable to expect your employer to manage schedules to suit your personal feelings. I havent read all comments so not sure if there is abuse or DV related to your break up, but if there is you could use that to plead your case.

You've got to be a troll surely...

Presumably because he's a driver & they needed one?

Did he quit a job to take this one?

I think we all understand being angry at the situation - ex getting a job where you work and paying no maintance..

However - it's not the companies issue - it's a professional place of work they will not hire based on your social life and expecting shift to be organised around it is already doing you a massive favour.

You can find a new job -ie remove yourself from the entire situation and you can claim maintance through CMS.

You can not ask your employer to sack another employee just becuase you do not like them working there and shift adjustments can be asked for but I do not belive they have to be accomodated.

He's a dick for getting a job there and a dick for not paying maitance but the employer doesn't have to care about any of that.

I think you’re getting some harsh responses on here OP. I completely understand why you’re annoyed and you’ve worked there a long time so if there were other candidates for the job that were suitable you’d hope your employer would have your welfare in mind if they were aware.
If he’s only started there to annoy you he might get fed up and leave if you show him you aren’t bothered even though you are - and I would be.
I hope he buggers off somewhere else soon.

I see why you are annoyed, however it’s not ultimately your employers problem and he has employment rights now, you can’t expect them to sack him as you’re unhappy?

Go after him heavily via CMS and live your best life. Ignore him, have fun with your other colleagues, look like you’re thriving! Don’t let him eat up valuable energy.

Now that CMS know where he works you can claim it?

would be good to stick it to him, if he kicks off you can do a deduction from earnings

I get why you’re irritated by it. Have there been any issues at work with him harassing you or similar? If so, report it. If not, you need to take control and make a decision about whether you stay or go.

I understand why you’re contextualising this as “why should I have to go” but the truth is that you absolutely don’t have to, you can stay there unhappily and stressed out, or you can make a decision to change that.

There’s no point in expecting things of other people when you have an opportunity to change it for yourself.

You’re coming across in your responses as quite immature. People are just responding with the realities of the situation. If you’re super unhappy you should try to leave because your employer just wants the best people for the job - or learn some coping strategies. Obviously he’s a complete arsehole for not paying for his child.

Surely if he pays no maintenance for your child, you apply to the CMS and they garnish his wages?

You are being ridiculous- why would your/his employer care about this?!

OP, you don’t seem to be getting that this is not your employers’ problem. I imagine it’s not fun for you, no, and I entirely understand why you’re annoyed, but you are the only one who can change the situation by leaving, if you decide his presence outweighs whatever it is benefits you in this job. You can’t force your ex to quit or your employers to fire him because you don’t want him there, any more than your employers can compel him to pay child maintenance.

This

Probably not, but I would understand that my relationship wouldn't have a bearing on who they choose to hire. Otherwise where would they draw the line? If there had been abuse or a recorded history of DV, that would be different. Is it possible to request that you are on different shifts again, especially as that worked for you before?

Why don't you open up a claim for maintenance then? You know where he works. Your employer doesn't have to run their hiring decisions by you. If you don't like who they hire - you have a solution available to you - leaving.

That’s irrelevant to him working at the same place as you.

No you can't recruit like that.

You have to work with people you don't like

They can't organize shifts around who people do/do not want to work with.

If you don't like it then it's up to you to find a new job.

If he genuinely only took the job to annoy you then he will soon get bored & move on.

Id there is DA involved then ask your IDVA for advice as they may well be able to support with contacting your employer.

Now you know he's in work then you have something to challenge with child maintenance.

You need to claim CM now that you know exactly where he’s working.

Its horrible that he’s taken a job at your workplace and I know that I wouldn’t have wanted to work with any of my exes. Unfortunately, none of this is your employers problem. I suspect if you go after him with the CMS he will leave the job fairly quickly if he has money deducted directly from his wages.

He changed jobs, you could do the same if you feel so hyper sensitive to his being in the same place.