AIBU- Stuffed Toy in the office.

[2021x]

I work in a newly formed team in an office. We have our team admin who I am going to guess is at least 26-28 y.o. woman.

We did one of those "professional" corporate team-building tests, and she seemed really confronted by some of the feedback she got. Since then, she has started acting more childlike and dependent and constantly seeking feedback on things she clearly can handle herself.

Today, however, she started walking around the office with a stuffed toy. She brought the toy-a crocheted horse- into the meetings and had it on her lap, with the head poking onto the table while she was typing, and was hugging it to her body when walking back from meeting rooms like a child and talking to other team members.

She is getting married this year and has said she just wants to elope, as the cost and managing all the preparations are stressful, and she is dreading it because she will be the centre of attention. She is clearly very sensitive and going through a very tough time (none of her family lives here), but AIBU that this is a step too far, or am I just getting a bit too old/grumpy and should mind my own business as she isn't harming anyone?

If the crutches were covered in teddy bear stickers and had little cuddly toys hanging from them then we might be a bit more comparable. If not, they are very different things. There are mental health comforts that don't mean a cuddly toy in a professional workplace.

As I said before I work in a professional workplace, I doubt many people here actually do. It is a place to make a living and earn money, not a social outreach project.

There are people who truly need support and they are supported.

People acting like this probably wouldn't pass probation because it's clear that they wouldn't be able to deal with stressful situations or with clients. That is the harsh reality of the workplace.

I recently went on a course with a young woman who carried a stuff toy everywhere and cuddled it during meetings - I'll admit it was very jarring at first but she was lovely and worked very well with everyone.

So lovely in fact, that I didn't bat an eye when she spent one day only communicating through her tablet, with no context at all. I didn't question it at all - none of us did 😳. I hope she's doing ok, bless her.

Giant straws in their Giant cups

Stuffed toy on desk- fine. Carrying it around in the workplace- very unprofessional.

She does need a lot of help, firstly in how to take criticism in the workplace. I do hope someone pulls her up on this otherwise she'll turn herself into laughing stock and will never integrate into the team properly. She'll always be known as Stuffed Toy Girl behind her back.

I wouldn't go as far as saying its disturbing, you're being dramatic there. Clearly, it isn't normal though and I'd bring it up with her manager but in a 'have you noticed Ann seems to be having some kind of mental health crisis and needs support?" kind of way.

To be in touch with your inner child is a great thing. I think it's something which we loop around to when adults and have conquered all challenges in life. Maybe you are a little envious that you haven't reached that stage yet.

I cringed reading that 😳

But op is her colleague and with the amount of annoyance it is causing her, concluded from her arguing with those who tried to challenge her, I think she could be the kind of colleague you are complaining about. If you lack empathy, you can never be a genuine team person and are out for yourself.

I would be worried it was the sign of an incipient MH breakdown. Can you pass it to her line manager?

Agree, it appears the stuffed toy she using in meeting is for sensory reasons- it sounds the feedback has made her anxious and she is self-soothing with the stuffed toy, highly sounds like she is neurodivergent. Instead of being grumpy and judgemental I would try and get to know her and see if she needs any support- if she feels well supported within the team she will likely do less of these behaviours

Why does it matter to you?

Of course it's unprofessional and weird, a grown arsed woman dragging a crochet soft toy around the office. The very fact she thinks this is in any way appropriate.

Her line manager should sit her down and tell her that if she is having issues coping then they suggest she sees her GP, takes up the company's wellbeing helpline if there is one, refers her to occupational health, gives her clear expectations of her conduct.

You do wonder what goes through some people's heads when they decide that it's perfectly normal to act like a primary school child at WORK.

Attention-seeking. Sounds unemployable.

🤣

I doubt op is envious of someone having a teddy bear in a meeting at work 😂

That is the harsh reality of the workplace.

I bet you wouldn't be able to say what you wrote in your organisation as you know you would be reported to HR.

Gone are the days of corporate slavery and if you had a hardship or needed extra support you were told to suck it or get out.

You need to be more understanding or just learn to ignore the horse toy. She clearly has something else going on and workplaces need to be inclusive. If she’s managing the work just try and see past the toy.

Better for her to be in work with a toy than at home unable to come in.

My neck is aching 24/7 from the amount of shaking it does, reading here about contemporary problems and behaviour. I’m ‘perma-boggled’.

No. There are boundaries of acceptable behaviour in any workplace and this oversteps a line in the OP's workplace.

People cannot just behave however they like and use words like "inclusive" to excuse any weirdness. If it's a medical/emotional problem then there are appropriate ways of working through that. This idea that colleagues and managers have to tolerate or ignore all manner of quirks and weirdness because inclusivity is very damaging.

Yeah exactly this, I teach in Primary school & the kids are not even allowed bring in toys from home unless it's the last day of term

I remember when someone appeared online with those acne stickers on their face, and I told them they had a sticker on, and they were so embarrassed I had noticed.

this made me laugh I'm afraid to say @2021x 😂

Its literally for one day as feedback given was on Tuesday and op has made it sound like her op as if it has been going on for a long time. She even responded to another poster that this colleague has dumped all her trauma. How much trauma can she dump in one day? She may have opened up about her struggles after the feedback and that's a trauma dump for op.
I think op has a habit of exagerrating. This person does not have a family around, going through a stressful period according to op, she took this feedback too personally and for one day she brought crochet animal with her to meetings.

There's a long road between corporate slavery and allowing someone a teddy bear to cope with the realities of the working world. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

"Classic workbitch jealousy". Why on earth would the OP be jealous of this woman?

Sounds neurodivergent. I teach adults and have taught ND adults who have comfort toys/teddies they carry everywhere.