AIBU- Stuffed Toy in the office.

[2021x]

I work in a newly formed team in an office. We have our team admin who I am going to guess is at least 26-28 y.o. woman.

We did one of those "professional" corporate team-building tests, and she seemed really confronted by some of the feedback she got. Since then, she has started acting more childlike and dependent and constantly seeking feedback on things she clearly can handle herself.

Today, however, she started walking around the office with a stuffed toy. She brought the toy-a crocheted horse- into the meetings and had it on her lap, with the head poking onto the table while she was typing, and was hugging it to her body when walking back from meeting rooms like a child and talking to other team members.

She is getting married this year and has said she just wants to elope, as the cost and managing all the preparations are stressful, and she is dreading it because she will be the centre of attention. She is clearly very sensitive and going through a very tough time (none of her family lives here), but AIBU that this is a step too far, or am I just getting a bit too old/grumpy and should mind my own business as she isn't harming anyone?

Please quote me where I have advocated for cuddly toys for all.

Perhaps an OH assesment is required for all concerned
Sounds like she's carrying a heavy MH burden

At least she is trying to be in work, alot of people suffer from a variety of health conditions and simply apply for benefits so i think it's quite admirable for her to turn up at work each day clearly struggling with something
She would not have been employed if she wasn't capable of doing the job

She might have had one already.

My comments assume that adjustments and fair processes have been followed - which clearly in this case they haven’t. If there is a disability which qualifies under the EA210 that’s the starting point. There are also various processes which have to be followed before a PIP can be initiated if disability is suspected as the underlying cause.

I would be really rolling my eyes at that tbh

Honestly it’s ridiculous, would posters think it fine if she was cuddling a Barbie doll or tiny tears? what if it was a grown man walking round the office with his Action man clutched to his chest?

Totally unprofessional and ridiculous, she's not a child. She needs help and support from somewhere though.

Here comes the ageist comments…

How on earth would you know what adjustment is or is not appropriate in this situation ? What she can and can’t cope with unless carrying a teddy is between her and the manager agreeing to this as a reasonable step.

Well we’ve had a bellyful of ableist comments. So why not ?

Fair enough.

Absolutely this. You can’t win on here. At least she’s trying her best.

My ageist comment was responding to:

“I miss when people were resilient.
I'm so fed up of the pandering to this bullshit. Everyone has issues and triggers, they are NOT for the workplace.”

Sounds like an ableist view from a person nearing retirement age.

If someone can be ableist, they absolutely should be able to take an ageist comment. Y’know with all their resilience.

Once again, the OP did not say there was group feedback in some kind of forced team task.
We did one of those "professional" corporate team-building tests, and she seemed really confronted by some of the feedback she got
They all completed a test and presumably all got their own feedback which the cuddly toy woman was upset about.

No. You have apologist ideology to feed.

That you think 'pushing 60' without qualifying your 'probable' life experience is disingenuous in the extreme.

This 'young person' (she's not, the OP describes her as 26-28, not 16 - 25) has been offered the support and constructive advice you advocate which I cited in the very post you reference.

Please clarify how anyone on this thread has not offered some 'bloody constructive support'. Because the OP and others who think this person's reactionary behaviour is ill-advised are equally and inclusively worthy of constructive support. Everyone should feel comfortable in their workplace, unreasonable adjustments should not have to be made by to accommodate the unreal expectations of others.

Sounds like an ableist view from a person nearing retirement age

Sounds like common sense to me. If the person is unwell, I hope they can access help.

By "unwell" you mean not having a stuffed toy in the workplace.

I mean if the person is unwell, they should get help. The toy isn't the problem.

But she might be already, and the toy is a coping mechanism.

I didn’t realise there was a hierarchy of protected characteristics.

There isn’t. That’s the point.

Let's all do exactly as we wish, bring toys, weighted blankets, incense and wear furry suits.

Do you need them to cope?
If not, then what point are you trying to prove?
Would you use a rollator if you did not need one?

Sounds like YOU need some help if that’s what you want to do @bafta16