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Original poster

School residential

130 replies

Pops2651 · 08/10/2026 07:47

Hi,
just posting on here for traffic.
I have a nearly 11 year old son who is due to go on his school residential tomorrow for 2 nights.
he has recently been diagnosed with separation anxiety, health anxiety, ptsd and ocd type worries. Without drip feeding, he was seriously ill when he was 7 and then lost his dad shortly after.
this makes it hard for him to be away from me, he still can’t sleep in his own room and even a night down my mums every once in a while causes him a great deal of stress.
we are under CAMHS and he is being referred to a psychologist.
my issue is, he is in two minds about going and it is actually making him ill. I know he will be fine during the day but it’ll be the night time. It’s 3 hours away so I wouldn’t be able to just collect him if he didn’t settle.
im at a loss at what to do, because I know if he doesn’t go he will be stressing all weekend about missing out but then I’m so worried he will make himself ill when he’s there as I don’t think he will settle at all. He was shaking just talking about it this morning and saying he felt like he was going to vomit.
any advice would be massively appreciated. I think this could be life changing for him if he goes but at the same time I know the intensity of his anxiety and I don’t want to make things worse.

thank you xx

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 09:59

Pops2651 · Yesterday 09:57

Thank you for all your comments, some a bit harsher than others but I appreciate them all the same. And thank you for your kindness too 💖

too answer some questions, he isn’t adopted and he isn’t in a private school. Weekends are quite common in my area with junior and comp, although this differs if they are going longer obviously.

he called me last night and was a bit upset- he didn’t ask to come home just said that he missed me.but he did do it and there is photos of them all enjoying breakfast this morning! My best friend is on stand by tonight if we need anything!

I know some people don’t agree with me sending him but it was his choice. I would have preferred him not to have gone at all. His teacher said he had a wonderful day yesterday and it was just a little set back at bed time.

im so proud of him and his bravery as this is a massive deal for him xx

You did the right thing OP and im so glad he managed the first night! Even if he comes home tonight he’s had a huge win

egyptsbest · Yesterday 10:09

Pops2651 · Yesterday 09:57

Thank you for all your comments, some a bit harsher than others but I appreciate them all the same. And thank you for your kindness too 💖

too answer some questions, he isn’t adopted and he isn’t in a private school. Weekends are quite common in my area with junior and comp, although this differs if they are going longer obviously.

he called me last night and was a bit upset- he didn’t ask to come home just said that he missed me.but he did do it and there is photos of them all enjoying breakfast this morning! My best friend is on stand by tonight if we need anything!

I know some people don’t agree with me sending him but it was his choice. I would have preferred him not to have gone at all. His teacher said he had a wonderful day yesterday and it was just a little set back at bed time.

im so proud of him and his bravery as this is a massive deal for him xx

He did it OP, that's wonderful. Best possible outcome, well done you both.

Readingallthetime · Yesterday 10:49

This is such an achievement. He'll be so proud of himself!

HikingHippo · Yesterday 13:22

Pops2651 · Yesterday 09:57

Thank you for all your comments, some a bit harsher than others but I appreciate them all the same. And thank you for your kindness too 💖

too answer some questions, he isn’t adopted and he isn’t in a private school. Weekends are quite common in my area with junior and comp, although this differs if they are going longer obviously.

he called me last night and was a bit upset- he didn’t ask to come home just said that he missed me.but he did do it and there is photos of them all enjoying breakfast this morning! My best friend is on stand by tonight if we need anything!

I know some people don’t agree with me sending him but it was his choice. I would have preferred him not to have gone at all. His teacher said he had a wonderful day yesterday and it was just a little set back at bed time.

im so proud of him and his bravery as this is a massive deal for him xx

I hit the "watch" button when I read this last night in anticipation of this update. Massive well done to Pops Junior, and to you as well @Pops2651 👏 I know that anticipation and anxiety of that first night away all too well, and it would have been so easy for you to have kept him home. But look what he has achieved!

You must be so proud. I hope you can have a restful day today, as you no doubt didn't sleep too well last night!

Growingaseed · Yesterday 13:29

Love the updates OP! He's doing brilliantly and it's great he's survived the night. 💪

ToadRage · Yesterday 13:33

Would you be allowed to go along as a chaperone? At least then you would be there if he needs you.

Lamelie · Yesterday 13:49

I am so happy for you both.

Original poster
Pops2651 · Yesterday 14:01

These responses have made me cry, thanks guys! I think I’m very emotional haha!

im hoping tonight is easier for him but regardless he’s done one night and he’s overcome his fears!!!xx

OP posts:
murasaki · Yesterday 14:05

Sounds like he's doing brilliantly, and having a good time. It was brave of him to go, and it seems so far it's paying off and good that he had the freedom to make the choice himself. I'm sure he'll have lots to tell you when he gets home!

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · Yesterday 14:10

That's amazing. Tell him how very proud you are of his bravery. Well done to both of you.

DisappearingGirl · Yesterday 15:36

That's brilliant OP! I'm really pleased to hear that.

Just to warn you, mine cried when they got home from residential but it was just from sheer exhaustion. After a night or two's sleep they told me about the great time they had.

murasaki · Yesterday 15:38

Good point, he'll be exhausted when he gets back. I'd get his favourite tea in, and just settle down with an easy movie or something and let him talk at his own speed.

Besidemyselfwithworry · Yesterday 15:40

Pops2651 · 08/10/2026 07:47

Hi,
just posting on here for traffic.
I have a nearly 11 year old son who is due to go on his school residential tomorrow for 2 nights.
he has recently been diagnosed with separation anxiety, health anxiety, ptsd and ocd type worries. Without drip feeding, he was seriously ill when he was 7 and then lost his dad shortly after.
this makes it hard for him to be away from me, he still can’t sleep in his own room and even a night down my mums every once in a while causes him a great deal of stress.
we are under CAMHS and he is being referred to a psychologist.
my issue is, he is in two minds about going and it is actually making him ill. I know he will be fine during the day but it’ll be the night time. It’s 3 hours away so I wouldn’t be able to just collect him if he didn’t settle.
im at a loss at what to do, because I know if he doesn’t go he will be stressing all weekend about missing out but then I’m so worried he will make himself ill when he’s there as I don’t think he will settle at all. He was shaking just talking about it this morning and saying he felt like he was going to vomit.
any advice would be massively appreciated. I think this could be life changing for him if he goes but at the same time I know the intensity of his anxiety and I don’t want to make things worse.

thank you xx

I’d either cancel him going or
book a hotel nearby and let him sleep at the hotel with you and enjoy the activities in the day

nomorecheese · Yesterday 15:45

Oh OP! Well done you and your DS! He (and you) will feel on top of the world when he comes home. Both my very anxious DSs went on residentials and had similar feelings but 100% loved it. DS2 is going on another this year and he can’t wait. It’s a huge step for him and will give him so much confidence.

HikingHippo · Yesterday 15:48

My son doesn't have the trauma that your son has experienced, but he is autistic with ADHD and we dont have a "village", hes 8 and we've used a baby sitter twice in his life, he doesn't have grandparents/aunts/uncles to stay overnight with etc. But scouting has been amazing for him. He started at 6 years old and has done several whole day trips, overnights and full weekend camps, its helped his confidence, independence and resilience hugely and I would definitely recommend.

littlemousebigcheese · Yesterday 16:20

My daughter didn’t go on her residential. No drama or big deal, she just wasn’t ready. I’m her mum, I decided. It was right decision as she cant cope without me at night and I didn’t want to put her in a situation where she would be anxious and have a meltdown.

Original poster
Pops2651 · Yesterday 19:36

Just another update- he’s just called again- he says he feels absolutely “perfect” and he’s had the best time. I hope it continues for bedtime as they are just off to do one final activity.
his teacher has said he has done amazing all day and that he is really proud of him and he’s been like a different kid today. I’m keeping everything crossed that it goes smoothly tonight. But this is such a massive achievement for him and he sounded so, so happy.
im hoping I might get some sleep tonight 🤣🙈

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · Yesterday 19:40

This warms my heart!

TheSoapyFrog · Yesterday 19:45

This is so good to hear!

ForFluentLimeFatball · Yesterday 19:58

Break down the steps. At 10, he should really be sleeping in his own room. Time to start progressing forward. Maybe the above would be a starting point? Needs to begin gaining independence.

MellonFellon · Yesterday 20:03

What a brave lad, he should be so proud of himself. Hope he has a restful night and you do too.

Ineffable23 · Yesterday 20:11

He should be so proud of himself! What a massive success ❤️

deedee176 · Yesterday 20:14

Having enjoyed going on the Year Six residential in June with the school where I work, I’d say really chill out. Every year the cohort is different and sometimes challenging but they’re all brilliant! The stress is yours. You don’t need to say in a hotel nearby! That’s asking for trouble. Just let him enjoy his residential, in his own way. Have a day off

Kepler22B · Yesterday 20:24

That is a fantastic update. Sometimes doing something very different is easier than a small change. I’m glad he had a great time and hope the last night goes well.

JC89 · Yesterday 20:34

Pops2651 · Yesterday 09:57

Thank you for all your comments, some a bit harsher than others but I appreciate them all the same. And thank you for your kindness too 💖

too answer some questions, he isn’t adopted and he isn’t in a private school. Weekends are quite common in my area with junior and comp, although this differs if they are going longer obviously.

he called me last night and was a bit upset- he didn’t ask to come home just said that he missed me.but he did do it and there is photos of them all enjoying breakfast this morning! My best friend is on stand by tonight if we need anything!

I know some people don’t agree with me sending him but it was his choice. I would have preferred him not to have gone at all. His teacher said he had a wonderful day yesterday and it was just a little set back at bed time.

im so proud of him and his bravery as this is a massive deal for him xx

That's amazing OP, what a great outcome and he's done so well! Hopefully tonight will be easier too, now he knows he's done it once