Do I give off slutty vibes

[Nottodaybob]

Or are all men absolute wankers?

I know you can't really answer, as you don't know me personally but I need help to understand something.

I'm by no means gorgeous. I'm mind 40s and pretty average in most ways. I'm quite personable and friendly but I certainly don't intend to be flirty in any way. I'm a happily married mother of 2.

This month alone, one of DHs 'friends' has made a pass at me, as has a colleague and a friend of a friend put his hand on my waist in an over familiar way.

These aren't isolated incidents. I've had it happen periodically over my life from being about 17 - my dad's friends, my friends boyfriends, colleagues. Is this normal? Are men just awful humans? Or is it a vibe I'm giving off? It can happen when on nights out, in my home (I.e. when we've had parties) but not necessarily involving drink, and I don't really drink alcohol. What is it I'm doing that's causing this?

You are obviously very attractive OP!

Assuming you aren’t wandering round in revealing tops and short skirts wondering why men look at you, I’d assume it’s a them problem, not a you problem. They probably mistake your friendly small talk for flirting / interest.

This is not something I’ve ever suffered from but I am quiet, brown-haired, nerdy and don’t wear revealing clothing! I’m not often on my own with other men, come to think about it.

Can I just say that not all men are pigs. No you are not slutty, it says more about the men than about you. You should tell them to not very politely go away.

Used to have this issue, found the only solution is to be standoffish and make it very clear I'm not interested. As a teanager I used to wear a fake engagement ring or get friends say they were my gf. Also had older male friends as "protection".

Men are awful, I'm sure they'd claim if you don't ask you don't get but a lot really push that too far

There are many men who try it on like this. I had advanced from two separate builders who were working in my house when I was about 50. I think I’d been daft enough to make them a couple of coffees! I’m over 60 now, and they’ve stopped 😄

No you're not. There's just a lot of creepy men out there unfortunately 😕

100%

Actually lots of “decent men” do. They’re just not as decent as you think. And this is the sad reality.

I would say don't be over friendly with them if you are worried
and tighten your boundaries
also look at what behaviour you will and won't accept from people (in this case men)

slutty is the wrong word to use here
but i think it is wrong to call a woman slutty anyway in any context

I can be quite introverted around men who I don’t know or know very well, for this very reason.
If I feel uncomfortable around a man, I avoid direct eye contact. This is because in the past when I’ve been friendly, it’s been misinterpreted as being flirtatious, and that they’re in with a chance, so I just be polite but keep conversation to a minimum. And I just give a faint smile. But I know it’s not all men, just the arseholes out there who think they’re god’s gift.

if you can, stand up for yourself when these things happen. Firmly say,
"Excuse me! I don't like that can you stop."
"Don't touch my arm /waist. I don't like it."
"Get your hand off my waist etc.

sometimes men can do things harmlessly
because they do it to everyone
sometimes they are deliberately trying it on see if they can
get away with it
no respect for personal boundaries and don't/ know their place
creep behaviour
i wouldnt put myself in the company of these people if you can avoid it.
Obviously if happens with strangers make it clear where you stand on that and don't be too friendly.

👏👏👏