To think she should’ve offered to help?

[ForFairLilacHare]

I have two children, one in primary school and an 8 month old baby. DS had parents evening this evening so I had asked my mum to if she could look after baby so me and DH could both attend. We were only gone for around 15 minutes as the school is only across the road.

When we returned, we asked my mum is she wanted to staying for dinner. Once we had finished around, she just got up from the table and said she had best get home. She said bye to the children and then just left leaving everything still on the table. As you can imagine, there was quite a bit of mess as DS2 is weaning and had dropped most of his dinner on the floor.

AIBU that she should have offered to help me to clean up or at the very least brought her plate and glass to the sink?

I thought that at first then as I read more I began to think it's serious. Takes all sorts.

Yes!! I was going to say the same.

People putting dirty dishes, cups etc into the sink drives me mad!

I am always in 2 minds i have been around long enough to be suspicious, in general I mean, and also long enough that nothing surprises either

Can you imagine how crushing it would be to stumble across this thread as the parent of the OP and have the horrible realisation that your adult child is nothing but an ungrateful pedant. Please OP for the sake of your own mother, ask for this thread to be deleted.

You said you didn't say it!

The problem is she was in the middle of doing the last favour you asked of her. Ironic that you're commenting on house guest etiquette when you've clearly no manners. Rude and ungrateful.

If she got up when your DH was still eating maybe she wasn't feeling well

I'd want to know so I could keep my favours and help to myself in future, or for those who appreciate it.

He was finished (post 1) and taking the child up to get bathed (post 2). It's only after people didn't agree with her that OP said he now wasn't finished.

Nobody has ever said that to me

Agree with others: weird and a bit rude to leave your stuff on the table, unless perhaps it was utterly chaotic and a general shitshow in which case even I wouldn’t have known where to start. I think I would have felt taking my own stuff to the sink and leaving the mess would be even more rude! Sounds like she just wanted to get home tbh, and may even have felt she was doing your a favour by staying on a bit. It will have been the witching hour, weaning baby, tired primary kid, food everywhere…I’m not long out of it myself and the thought sends shivers down my spine now!

At least it'd give the mum chance to change her will

Or with the alternative version the OP is now offering (the husband was still eating at the table), maybe OP's mother felt she'd outstayed her welcome and obliged to leave because her daughter was clearing up - ie indicating the free babysitter had outstayed their welcome and time to clear off

🤣

Some mums do, my mum always leaves my house in a better state than she finds it and I couldn’t love that women more and to be fair so does my MIL, it might be folding and putting away clothes out of the dryer, loading/unloading the dishwasher.

Or if she knows I’ve had a busy week she will come round with dinner. She’s the Mum I want to be to mine when they are older ❤️

And you must be a terrible host to clear away while someone is still eating (version 2 of your account).

And how does DS2 magically appear in two places at the same, both in the bath upstairs and downstairs being minded by you. Maybe it's like the magical parents meeting that is over before the magic wand is waved

💯

So really you were doing her a favour by permitting her to spend time with the baby 😉

It’s only one extra plate, your toddler would be dropping food everywhere even if she wasn’t babysitting earlier.

I don’t know why you’re getting so hung up on the parents evening. That really wasn’t the point of the thread 😅

i never said DS2 was in the bath upstairs. I said he was getting fussy as he wanted to go to bath and bed.

@Franjipanl8r - I expect the mother already knows what sort of a daughter she has and has the OP's measure. But yes, this thread would be the cherry on the cake (or is it icing on the cake?)

You are definitely an odd one if you cannot believe a yr2 child’s parent would not take only 5 minutes. When you live directly opposite the school too, you would be there and back within 10 minutes. It takes around 30 seconds door to door.
would you like to check my ring doorbell to check the timings are accurate? 😅
What would I get from lying after the parents evening when that wasn’t even the point of the thread.

get a life

I’m still laughing. I’m clearly doing something wrong because I’ve been teaching 12 years and still haven’t managed to get a parent to vacate their chair within the 10 minutes of allotted time. This woman was through the hall, signed in and out, managed to look at books on display (not mentioned so can only assume it must be a shit school or parents aren’t interested in looking at their work 😂) given an update on the child’s progress and over the road twice all within 10 minutes. She doesn’t need help with cleaning up. She’s basically a magician. Not surprising, her husband can be eating his dinner and taking a child upstairs for bath and bed simultaneously.

This.

Oh dear! We arrived at the hall, the books were on display but the teacher called us over straight away as she was free 😅

You literally said: "DH usually baths DS2 when I tidy up downstairs while watching DS2"