To think she should’ve offered to help?

[ForFairLilacHare]

I have two children, one in primary school and an 8 month old baby. DS had parents evening this evening so I had asked my mum to if she could look after baby so me and DH could both attend. We were only gone for around 15 minutes as the school is only across the road.

When we returned, we asked my mum is she wanted to staying for dinner. Once we had finished around, she just got up from the table and said she had best get home. She said bye to the children and then just left leaving everything still on the table. As you can imagine, there was quite a bit of mess as DS2 is weaning and had dropped most of his dinner on the floor.

AIBU that she should have offered to help me to clean up or at the very least brought her plate and glass to the sink?

This isn't what I thought you was going to say OP. It doesnt sound like your mum wanted to baby sit in the 1st place!

Honestly, feeling the need to start a thread on Mumsnet about this is pathetic. Don't you have more interesting things to occupy your mind with?

I think you're making too much out of nothing. We're talking about a basic family dinner with one extra plate. Maybe she just wanted to get home. I'm sure there have been other times when she has helped out, but today she didn't. It's not a big deal.

She did you a favour and you are complaining about her. Hope she says no next time.

Perhaps she doesn’t like commuting in the dark? I know my Mum doesn’t and would be anxious to be home safe and sound before dark.

Either way you’ve little to be worried about!

Your miffed she didn’t take her plate to the sink. Do you think she was ungrateful for your hospitality?

after she’d done you a favour.

I can’t get my head round your thinking. Let alone starting a thread on MN.

I hope she never catches wind of this thread. I’d be incredibly hurt if I were her.

You offered her the dinner you were going to be cooking for yourselves anyway, which most people would take as a thank you for looking after your child. She should have put her plate in the sink but it is a bit entitled to think she should help you tidy up especially when it sounds like her whole evening has gone. sounds like she saw how the evening would go (cleaning up, helping out at bedtime) and she wanted to get out

Why didn’t you ask her to put her plate in the sink?

It's funny I wash up at my parents house but never ever let them wash or clean at mine. I always felt that they were my guests.

She had already looked after your baby while you were away, you then gave her some food - you didn't cook dinner just for her. Yes, she should have taken her plate and glass to the sink but she doesn't have to tidy your house for you as well!

Or, she considered the dinner a thank you for keeping the time free just so you could both go to something you really don't both need to go to. She doesn't then have to thank you back by cleaning up. You were having dinner anyway, she's only added a single place setting worth of stuff to clean.

Maybe she felt ill, had a sore stomach and needed the loo, was exhausted....who knows ....but she did help you out..Isnt that enough.

A really petty thing to get annoyed about in the scheme of things.

She came round at the shittest part of the day, why would she not want to rush off?

My brother used to say I could do bathtime like it was a treat! God no! The time between 6-8pm with young kids is the worst 😧

What a first world problem 🙄

So she did you a favour and you are still complaining

I hope she reads this and doesn’t bother helping you out next time you ask.

So your mum did you a favor and you come on mumsnet to bitch because she didnt offer to clean up after dinner? Wow. Nice daughter you are.

Maybe she wanted to get home before it got too dark? Was she in a car? Did you offer to take her home?. I wouldn’t even notice if a guest did this .I’d maybe just think they were in a rush. She’s your Mum , cut her some slack

Pressed the wrong button.

YANBU

Does she normally take her plate to the sink after dining with you? I would tend to ask if anyone wants help clearing up but I wouldn't think otherwise if someone left it there either as people have their own ways of doing things. I especially wouldn't mind if she helped out to babysit as she did her bit there.
I know it might be a bit different but if I "host" I wouldn't expect guests to clear anything, I would probably even do the clean up once they have gone but appreciate this is a bit more of a casual arrangement.

Can you honestly say that if it had been your brother or dad you would be similarly pissed off that they didn’t stay and clear up?

Perhaps she was tired

If I were invited for dinner I am not sure it would occur to me that I needed to tidy up after a child whose parents were both there. Especially if I’d already been helping out by babysitting. So I think yabu to expect her to do so.

Agree, talk about making something out of nothing

She helped out by babysitting your child?!