I didn’t let my husband eat the meatballs, AIBU?

[dancebabybee]

My husband is an incredibly fussy eater. Basically, he will only eat beige foods and sugar. This makes going out to eat very difficult as well as cooking for him at home. There have been times in restaurants when he will complain there is NOTHING he likes on the menu (despite the menu being extensive) and he ends up eating a bread basket. I am giving you this history as it is important for what happened this evening…

I made meatballs, tomato ragu and spaghetti for dinner. Due to my husbands extreme fussy eating, I don’t usually cook for him and he is left to sort himself out. Me and the children had this for dinner. When I went into the kitchen afterwards, he had started picking at the sauce left in the pan, scooping the meatballs out, scraping the tomatoes and sauce off. I asked him whether he wanted me to make him some pasta, he said no he just wanted to eat the meatballs. I told him to please not, as it will just leave a load of sauce that nobody will want to eat without meatballs in it, and I wanted to save the spare for lunch or dinner tomorrow. He then got annoyed about this and sulked off…

AIBU?

A picky eater who sulks!

What a prince. Sorry OP, YADNBU.

Scurvy 😂

I massively have the ick.

I feel like some of the posters on this thread are just saying you're unreasonable to be contrary.

Everything you've posted has made it completely clear his behaviour is not only self centred, rude and a terrible model for you children but also that he has little to no respect for his wife.

Your dynamic is interesting. You perform the labour of making a meal with leftovers for tomorrow. He does nothing but stand over the pan picking at the best part of the meal leaving only a sauce that nobody will want. But instead of you being upset, it’s him acting wounded and sulking. So not only does he have the palate of a 3 year old, he sulks like one and has the emotional intelligence of one too. As one does with sulky 3 year olds, ignore him.

Careful, you’ll pull a muscle with the reaching you’re doing there.

When we go out, he will request things are removed, we went out for a Thai recently and he ordered a pad Thai but got them to remove everything so it was just the noodles and chicken. If the restaurant can’t accommodate he will just eat things like bread or prawn crackers. It’s incredibly frustrating, also because it shapes where we can and can’t go for food (although I do insist that we try new places and tell him to suck it up). He doesn’t have an eating disorder or autism or such other condition, I would have more sympathy then. I just think he’s over-indulged himself for years on frankly shit junk food. He keeps moaning he wants to lose weight too but won’t touch a vegetable or fruit.

Terrible, not nice at all, because the kids would go why can’t I just have meatballs and not sauce?

Men with toddler palettes are very, very unattractive.

Just my opinion.

OP, I couldn't (or rather wouldn't - but easier to say than do when you're in the situation, I do realise) tolerate this.

YANBU.

Why are you married to him? Why did you marry him in the first place (unless you were unaware he was a child in an adult body)?

If he is this immature about food, he is likely the same in other aspects of your life together.

My spouse avoids a very few types of food, and ONLY due to gastrointestinal reasons.

Does he have ARFID?

If we have fajitas, for example, he will eat all the chicken out of the pan, leaving only peppers. These then end up being thrown out as nobody wants a plate of peppers the following day. I made a fish pie earlier in the week and he picked out all the fish. It means food gets wasted that could be eaten as another meal
Oh, God. You have married a horrible brat. You should NOT be putting up with this.

God it all just sounds deeply, deeply unattractive 😬

What’s he like on holiday?

What is his dynamic with his parents? Does he pick apart his parents’ cooking?

What about your parents—does he pick out the bits of their meals that he wants?

Does he do this at work dinners and weddings?

Same. Instant dealbreaker for me.

I would not even have the bandwidth to think about this

He at least was eating something

I would just add something else to the pasta and sauce for someone else to
eat tomorrow- ham, bacon, chicken, more meatballs…

Please be grateful you have so little shit going on in your life that this even occupies a brain cell

Edit - have RTFT and it’s a little annoying yes - but you know what he’s like - so if he’s otherwise ok, just buy double the protein to save your sanity

so your man child of a husband doesn’t eat vegetables?
was he always like this?
What an ick 😬

What does your husband cook when he cooks for the children, or the whole family? Does your children like what he cooks for them?
Does he cook together with the children?

No surprises he’s overweight with a diet of takeaways, meat and bread. This would infuriate me - criticising your cooking, too lazy to cook for his own children, palate of a toddler and a nightmare in restaurants. What a terrible example he’s setting, hope your children are more like you.

Reminds me of the thread about the bodybuilder coming to dinner who wanted just a plate of meat. Your husband clearly doesn’t need the protein as it sounds like that’s basically all he eats along with simple carbohydrates. It’s pure greed to pick out all the meat and leave none for the person who actually cooked for not only herself but for your shared children.

Hope this thread has reassured you that you’re absolutely not in the wrong OP. You shouldn’t have to do this but if it would help cut short his sulking, maybe put the leftovers straight into a Tupperware in the fridge before you eat, so he can’t start grubbing around for the best bits. Picking the fish out of a fish pie is next level though!

“He at least was eating something” he’s not a starving orphan. He clearly gets more than enough to eat, though he’s probably pretty nutritionally deficient given he’s too fussy to eat vegetables.

Oh - this is like in the olden days when the Man got the protein and the wife and kids had bread to dip in the sauce.

Quite. According to the OP he is overweight and moans about it. So no need to worry about the poor fellow wasting away like a Victorian urchin. Definitely does not need to be snacking on meatballs.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. He went for the good stuff, the meatballs and sauce, and rejected the offer of pasta.

Take it as a kind of compliment but the backstory about his eating history is weird.

She is not happy with the waste. They both decided to have separate meals.

I was going to say this - if my borderline ARFID child touched a meatball I would be so delighted I wouldn't care about my lunch. However I can understand your general frustration as I do find the restrictive eating stressful and limiting

God this is so so unattractive.
I would not be able to live with someone this pathetic about food as an adult. Even not eating as a family would be a red line for me tbh! I think he’s destined for hideous health problems (for which your whole family will suffer to some degree) and I also think he’s setting a shit example to your kids about healthy eating habits and food behaviour.
I have major ick just reading your post op!