I didn’t let my husband eat the meatballs, AIBU?

[dancebabybee]

My husband is an incredibly fussy eater. Basically, he will only eat beige foods and sugar. This makes going out to eat very difficult as well as cooking for him at home. There have been times in restaurants when he will complain there is NOTHING he likes on the menu (despite the menu being extensive) and he ends up eating a bread basket. I am giving you this history as it is important for what happened this evening…

I made meatballs, tomato ragu and spaghetti for dinner. Due to my husbands extreme fussy eating, I don’t usually cook for him and he is left to sort himself out. Me and the children had this for dinner. When I went into the kitchen afterwards, he had started picking at the sauce left in the pan, scooping the meatballs out, scraping the tomatoes and sauce off. I asked him whether he wanted me to make him some pasta, he said no he just wanted to eat the meatballs. I told him to please not, as it will just leave a load of sauce that nobody will want to eat without meatballs in it, and I wanted to save the spare for lunch or dinner tomorrow. He then got annoyed about this and sulked off…

AIBU?

She offered to make a meal using the meatballs. He didn't want a meal he wanted just the meatballs because he wanted the best part of the food and to leave the rest to go to waste whilst he then had more food later. The whole thing is incredibly wasteful. If he wanted to eat a meal then he could make his own dinner rather than eat a small part of the left overs and then more food later.

Nope, he cooks separately because he's fussy. Leftovers are full meals for those that are cooked for...not him. OP has now got pasta and sauce and another thing to think about.

Being a fussy eater is such a massive ick! Just wondering how you managed to date/marry someone like that. You’re not being unreasonable.

It’s such an immature trait for him to pick over food and leave behind so much waste!

To all the posters saying "just let him, poor man" please read this update from the OP.

The man has told her he doesn't like her cooking and doesn't want the meals she cooks. He buys and cooks his own beige crap. OP presumably plans, buys and cooks all the family meals for her and the kids, so that's always on her.

The plan was to have the leftovers for lunch.
But on a whim old fussypants has decided, without checking if it's going to spoil the meal planning OP shoulders on her own, to help himself to the best bits as a snack, dipping around in the pan with his grubby mitts. OP offered to make more pasta, presumably to pad out the leftovers and leave enough meatballs for a smaller lunch but no, he wanted what he wanted and tough shit to anyone else. So now rather than having a nice easy preplanned meal for lunch, it's OP who has to buy/cook something else or go without the nicest part of the leftovers.

That's why it's selfish and thoughtless. It's creating more labour for her. How would he like it if there were no nuggets and oven chips left because OP fancied giving them to the kids for an easy tea and didn't bother telling him or replacing them. I bet he'd sulk about that even more!

But are making the assumption that the meatballs are the best part. He clearly prefers meatballs but they are not the automatically the best part.

Of course they are the best part. It's also the reason he picks out the chicken and the fish from the pie. Why are you making excuses for his selfish behaviour.

What a terrible example he’s setting for your children, skipping nutritious family meals and instead having just bread or unhealthy expensive takeaways.

This is mental to me. He’s an adult. And a fussy eater. This is not immature - that’s just an unpleasant attempt to put him down imo. He may well have issues from childhood, not that that is any of our business. My partner is a fussy eater. I’m similar. As I’m an adult who pays for her food etc, I eat what I want to eat, and not what I don’t. So does my partner. I find his food quirks amusing if anything and don’t lose sleep about it. Or about food waste come to that..

It’s the part HE likes but it is not automatically the best part is it? Growing up when we had a roast I’d swap my meat with my brothers roast potato’s because we both had a different best bit. It’s easy to accommodate preferences within a meal to minimise waste

Freeze the sauce

OP has explained they are the best part for her family. Didn't you read the bit where she said no one will want to eat just leftover pasta and sauce for lunch if there are no meatballs.

did you read the post? she said and i quote ‘asked him whether he wanted me to make him some pasta’ - so you saying ‘nope’ is a bit odd as it’s a direct quote from the op. Oh and surely the thing to make when she says she’ll have to think about lunch tomorrow would be the pasta, that she already offered to make. Then she can have the pasta snd sauce tomorrow, which is a perfectly acceptable meal.

I find that so odd but fair enough..

Not acceptable to him though?

I can’t understand why you married him tbh

Then she can have the pasta snd sauce tomorrow, which is a perfectly acceptable meal.

Isn't that rather a slap in the face for OP. She plans and cooks the meal. He decides pasta and sauce doesn't suit him. But "perfectly acceptable" for OP to be lumped with the remains of a meal she considers inferior? Nice!

I offered to make him pasta so he could have it as part of a meal, rather than just picking the meatballs out (he was planning on eating all of the ones left), and just leaving sauce. The sauce would have then either ended up getting chucked, or I would have had to do further shopping / cooking so that it was then a proper meal for someone to have the next day…

Considering that you said this above:
I’d swap my meat with my brothers roast potato’s because we both had a different best bit. I'm surprised you find it "odd" that other people like the meatballs best even if you don't.

Maybe ask your brother what he thinks 😂

Also, it's potatoes not potato's. (Sorry but this one really bugs me!)

so as i said before she’s more than happy for him to have them if she decides what he has them with, she was happy to see them go but only on her terms. She’s moaned about him being fussy but then as soon as he tries something she’s moaning again.

so as i said before she’s more than happy for him to have them if she decides what he has them with, she was happy to see them go but only on her terms. She’s moaned about him being fussy but then as soon as he tries something she’s moaning again.

God I would hate that. In our house you eat what the cook has made or you sort yourself out.

His diet sounds awful. How does he not have scurvy?

YANBU. I guess he had already had something to eat too?

My DH will eat crap all day and then try to start on my (expensive) diet food. He then looks like a sad puppy when I tell him not to. Fuck off and eat your own food.

I stopped cooking for my dh very early in our relationship. Once we had a child with ARFID, I realized that was my husband’s condition as well.

I would have told him if he was going to make more work for me, it would be his job to make a substitute meal. It is so hard to feed myself and my child already. If he wanted to take part of the leftovers, it would be his responsibility to fix.

This. Picking bits out of food? How old is he? I would be embarrassed to go out to meals, etc, if my DH behaved like this. He sounds painful and immature.

he’s a fussy eater and wanted the meatballs, the meatballs the op was happy for him to have…..as long as she could decide what he had them with