Do not enter-you are a s**t mum

[Getthosesquishiesoutofthehouse]

This is what my 8 year old wrote on her door handle thing, that you can hang over your door.
Following another argument about not being allowed on YouTube, she stormed upstairs, shut the door and put this sign on the handle, she then fell asleep.
We were travelling lots at the weekend and are all lacking sleep. Dh says to just leave it, but I find it upsetting and was shocked she'd written it.
None of us have mentioned it yet.

What would you do?

No, she's not in my family.
However, there needs to be very basic rules about language, courtesy and respect, which I think it's what the OP is trying to do. We all know this child is 8. She has been given all manner of excuses by pp. There's no need to be punitive, but she must understand what she did was wrong. No nasty notices, no culture of offensive terms, that's not right. You're upset? No excuse. We talk about it. You want to go on YouTube? Here's why you can't, and that won't change. Let's move on.
ps "not the crime of the century" is a very low bar! 😉"!

I have never sworn at my parents ever. I still don’t swear in front of my mum now! My dc have never sworn at me. I didn’t hear them swear until they were in their teens.
I can’t believe people minimising this and saying leave your concern for the bigger things. Wtaf? Calling your mum a shit parent at age 8 is big. I don’t believe in shouting but I do believe in explaining how hurtful and disrespectful this is (but she knows that anyway otherwise she wouldn’t have done it) and there would be a consequence. Definitely no you tube access at all until she could consistently display respectful behaviour.
Also worrying that your kids will be scared of you is not a reason to let things slide. You can parent effectively without scaring your children.

You've already received good advice re the note, however with regards to Youtube, when the social media ban came in, we told our two boys (7 and 4), that YouTube is now illegal until they're 16, (technically true!) and it's worked a treat! After a week or so of not watching it (also had to delete the app from the tv's), they stopped asking for it.

I agree, good points.

Why in front of her teacher? It happened at home.

You and I have very different perspectives.

Didn't ypu know? Teachers are meant to fix everything these days. Well, according to mumsnet they appear to be responsible for raising kids, not the parents.

And, I'm not being funny, but most teachers have seen and heard far worse than this.

I'd just ignore it and not enter, she can get herself up, put herself to bed sort out her clothes.
Eta is seems the word shit most people are upset with, l cant imagine most 8 years,dont know this word

Why would you ignore such rudeness from a child?

So in other words let the brat get away with it?
Boy.
I hope you are there to pick up the pieces when she is 12!

Because she probably wants a reaction? Yes its rude but hardly the worst thing in the world.

Not the worst thing in the world.
Not the crime of the century.
So much minimising of poor behaviour.

I think some parents just don't want to tackle behavioural issues, perhaps they don't have the will or the energy? Who knows. So they minimise.

Calmly tell her we dont use hurtful language in this house. Remove the sign for 3 days (dont go massive on punishment at this point

Better yet, why doesn’t OP gift the sign to you so you can wear it around your neck with the words “I am a doormat”

😂😂😂

Give a consequence or a sanction that will have a large enough impact to put her in her place and never, ever behave like that again.

On top of that, she also needs some strong words from you.

Yes is poor behaviour, but even adults don't always show best behaviour, we cant expext an 8 year old to not lose thier temper, honestly shes not being physical with people not screaming swear words, its just a note to try and make her mum feel bad, sge was probably tired and grumpy, so l stand by ignore it.

My Dad once gave me lines because I called my mum a cow. It was a slip of the tongue, and not language I generally used for anyone, I was trying to be funny. I'm not sure what I meant to say but it wasn't that.

I remember it as one of my worst childhood punishment, not because of unfair treatment, but because of the way disrespecting your mother would absolutely not be tolerated.

I know misogyny is nothing new but it does seem to be a growing problem and if this can be dismissed as nothing, maybe that's why. In those days, (in my respectable world) only men in string vests who spent the housekeeping in the pub would accept DC speaking to their wives like that.

So, you only deal with things that are more extreme and escalate?
I think it's a good idea to deal with disrespect, offensive notices and lack of self regulation when they're young.
Then they develop better habits and develop skills to self regulate and behave in appropriate ways.
Not the crime of the century, not the worst thing in the world, but then very few 8 year olds commit arson, murder and large scale fraud.

Which is a mistake - they are building up trouble for the future.

Absolutely 💯

You’re telling me- I used to work in a PRU- got called a cunt on a daily basis.

I do something similar to what this poster suggested. Please stop focusing on the consequence for a minute, you've both lost your cool. Try sincerely apologising for losing your temper, it shows that being sorry for your actions can bring things to a close. She's 8, she isn't a mature person yet, we've got to shown them how to do that.

What normally happens after a period of removal?
Its not a difficult concept

She gets the sign back.
If she repeats the behaviour it goes away for 6 days. Etc

I have to say, at 76 years old and not generally foul-mouthed, I never knew saying 'shit' was swearing. When I was young my parents would have considered it a 'rude word' but surely we have moved on since then.