Do not enter-you are a s**t mum

[Getthosesquishiesoutofthehouse]

This is what my 8 year old wrote on her door handle thing, that you can hang over your door.
Following another argument about not being allowed on YouTube, she stormed upstairs, shut the door and put this sign on the handle, she then fell asleep.
We were travelling lots at the weekend and are all lacking sleep. Dh says to just leave it, but I find it upsetting and was shocked she'd written it.
None of us have mentioned it yet.

What would you do?

This is what my 8 year old wrote on her door handle thing, that you can hang over your door.

Is this a reusable sign? I was basing my comments on one like a chalkboard or whiteboard?

I'm not sure what a pru is, but sorry you were called a cunt regularly.

Pupil Referral Unit, for those suspended from mainstream.

I worked in a PRU too. Best job I ever had, but we didn't tolerate that.

Sure

I didn’t direct it directly to my mum aged 8 though

For me, your husband’s lazy response is what the thread should be about.

You are adamant your child never has unsupervised access to screen. Has it dawned on you that maybe she doesn’t when dad is in charge @Getthosesquishiesoutofthehouse ?

This is quite typical for an 8 yo, bar the language!

Tbh I'd just put the note in the bin and start tomorrow with a clean slate.

Maybe have a chat to say you've noticed she seems overly attached to YouTube and for now it's being taken away completely until she adjusts to life without it.

And it is the language that the Op is upset about

Yes, but she lost her temper, wrote it down and regretted it. She knows she shouldn't have done it, OP knows she shouldn't have done it, so I'd avoid piling anymore shame on the situation.

Fair enough.

All I know is that my own kids were always well behaved and I could take them anywhere. People/teachers would always pick them out as the sensible well behaved kids. We were a family with very high expectations but also a sense of humour (and we were quite sweary). I would’ve took the piss and milked the ‘shit mum’ thing for years if this had been my kid.

My point was you said very normal
it is
and if she hadn’t had sworn at her mother but sad “bad” or similar… the Op wouldn’t have started the thread

Fucking hell if I’d done that and upset my mum my dad would have fucking bollocked me and probably described in detail what an actual “shit mum” is. Even after they split up he still would have been furious if I’d said that to my mum, let alone committed to writing it down. Idk if this is just the way I was brought up but your husband saying to leave it and acting like it’s not a big deal is so weird to me.

Judging by your flowery language perhaps they should have allowed you to get it out of your system as a child. 😉

Yes, this need to be “calm” at whatever provocation is very strange. It’s ok to be angry! Your child won’t be scarred for life…. allowing them to be a brat without real consequences will be far more damaging for them.

Thank goodness you're here to advise those with respectful and successful adult children, how to go about raising children!

It's also ok not see your child as your adversary. Try to think beyond your default position of what you would do and everything else is just wrong.

Im saving all these tips for when I have grandkids. Their parents are bound to be bratty on account of their upbringing.

Pretty regular way of viewing things I think.

😂

Oh come on, by basically existing??

Do you honestly believe 8 year olds have never heard swear words? Hell, mine heard most of them at home by then!

OP a good motto to have with kids. Especially as they get older is
All feelings are alowed but all behaviours are not

I'd stop the YouTube not as a punishment but as an issue that means they have trouble managing emotions around it

And just to say my seven year old when very angry will sometimes tell me or write me a note that I'm the worst mum in the world- same thing- she doesn't mean it, she's just angry. So I don't pursue it with punishment just give her lots of love and understanding when we talk about how emotions are ok but not ok to be unkind to mummy.

If you clutch those pearls much tighter, you’re going to garotte yourself.

Calm down, dear 😆

I would be inclined to show her how 'shit' a mum can be by not doing any of the nice little things mums do for their children. No favourite meals, no shopping trips together, no little kindnesses, and if she notices tell her 'I'm being a shit mum!'