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AIBU?

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TooBigForMyBoots · 07/10/2026 20:36

TooBigForMyBoots · 07/10/2026 20:28

Men are also abusers of their close family. As the statistics show.Sad

When i worked as a therapist, most of my clients were victims of male violence. Women, men and children fucked by Male Violence.

Devilla · 07/10/2026 20:49

shuggles · 07/10/2026 19:52

All of the men I see who have most success in relationships are masculine men.

Most of them may not appear to be aggressive - but they typically have the particular traits and characteristics which feed into aggression.

I don't see placid and passive men having many relationships.

What type of man are you @shuggles ?

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/10/2026 20:56

AppleKatie · 07/10/2026 20:09

Got any stats on that? Because it’s certainly not true in my social circle!

It's code. For I can't be bothered. Blame it on height and masculinity and it's all unfair.

But then you see shilpit men with hotties. And variously they are funny or kind or rich or charming or interesting or interested or they can dance or they are great company. Prince was 5 foot and wore purple velvet and I bet the man was knee deep in offers his whole life.

Men just want not to try and get women who do nothing but try.

fashionqueen0123 · 07/10/2026 21:02

I’ve just been reading that her husband tried to blame it on a burger. Has he not heard of Caleb Flynn and how that’s worked out for him?

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/10/2026 21:07

TooBigForMyBoots · 07/10/2026 20:36

When i worked as a therapist, most of my clients were victims of male violence. Women, men and children fucked by Male Violence.

Yup. Worked in a treatment centre, and with men leaving prison. About a third named CSA in theor groups and sessions. That excludes people who didn't disclose. And all other violence. About 90% of the men in prison had witnessed male violence as children. That and traumatic bereavement were the two most common antecedents.

Cheese55 · 07/10/2026 21:09

shuggles · 07/10/2026 19:29

No.

Men are protectors of their close family. No one else.

I have no idea where you got this idea from that men protect other men. From first hand experience, I can tell you that men hate other men even more than they hate women. The men I know would not give a shit if something bad happened to me, or if I died.

Men protect the behaviour of other men by not calling them out on it. They do this because it's in their interests to maintain the patriarchy and not to get frozen out socially.

fashionqueen0123 · 07/10/2026 21:11

Thewonderfuldollypartonsbra · 07/10/2026 11:51

At work alone,I the last ten years (food retail)

I've been sexually assaulted 11 times

I get at least one sexual comment a shift

I've been slapped/punched/sworn at

Flashed at more times than I can count-they come through the drive thru wanking away (making sure we can see their penises

Went to give a bloke his food,he waved his phone in my face,it was hardcore porn and he asked if 'you'd be up for that?' before driving away and laughing

We call the police and they walk in with an air of 'what a waste of our time'and don't even bother to check the cctv,let alone 'have a word'

In my day to day life,at least once a week,some bloke do or say something

(the last one was me crossing a road on a zebra crossing and he was driving a bus-i got a gob full for daring to cross at that point and within two minutes,another bloke threatened me for not diving out of his way)

I've been raped,put up with assault from my school days onwards ('but boys will be boys!he most likely fancies you!' or my mother and her 'what did you do to set him off?') and even taken crap from workmen in my own home

It's everywhere-its Ingrained in our everyday lives and nothing is done about it

We need attitudes to change and action to be taken

I'm not holding my breath

Wasn’t that what Wayne couzens did- at a McDonald’s or similar? How are the police not aware!

shuggles · 07/10/2026 21:13

Devilla · 07/10/2026 20:49

What type of man are you @shuggles ?

Unmasculine.

Devilla · 07/10/2026 21:15

shuggles · 07/10/2026 21:13

Unmasculine.

So not doing well at work and no relationships?

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 07/10/2026 21:16

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/10/2026 21:07

Yup. Worked in a treatment centre, and with men leaving prison. About a third named CSA in theor groups and sessions. That excludes people who didn't disclose. And all other violence. About 90% of the men in prison had witnessed male violence as children. That and traumatic bereavement were the two most common antecedents.

Exactly this.
Kids need to be kept away from these men, not given ever increasing excuses to be made to see them. As I said earlier, fathers who kill their wives still get PR for their kids. This needs to be put through faster than it is, alongside the peadophiles who still have PR even when convicted against their own kids.

The system is so broken it feels like women need to look at different ways of operating on a more female community basis as men get increasingly more sex obsessed and violent.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/10/2026 21:17

Just a note on the idea that teaching girls to choose or be safe is an answer...

Male violence is a perfect self-perpetuating system. Men beat and rape women, who then have children. Those children witness violence and/or are victims. They either stay in the home, worse and worse. Or go into care, still worse. They act out, self medicate, have sexualised behaviour. Then some predator picks them up. Hands them around. They then have a child...

I can teach my DD to be slightly safer. But that just transfers the violence to her mate. Whose mum threw her out and now she's living on sofas. Who tells her to choose wisely.

It has to be men changing or being locked up to protect us.

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 07/10/2026 21:20

fashionqueen0123 · 07/10/2026 21:11

Wasn’t that what Wayne couzens did- at a McDonald’s or similar? How are the police not aware!

I used to work in one of these places and the male managers always put women on tills and laughed when the local flasher used to come up and even pointed them to the tills of the new recruits. The security guards knew them by sight but always seemed to just let them in to flash, then take them away belatedly. It really was seen as just a normal thing to have to go through in the 90's. Now it feels like every bloke would do it to shock a woman who had a role to serve him if he thought he wouldn't get filmed or cancelled. Oddly the old fashioned flashers don't seem to like being filmed these days... The weirdos have been out-weirdo'd.

fashionqueen0123 · 07/10/2026 21:25

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 07/10/2026 21:20

I used to work in one of these places and the male managers always put women on tills and laughed when the local flasher used to come up and even pointed them to the tills of the new recruits. The security guards knew them by sight but always seemed to just let them in to flash, then take them away belatedly. It really was seen as just a normal thing to have to go through in the 90's. Now it feels like every bloke would do it to shock a woman who had a role to serve him if he thought he wouldn't get filmed or cancelled. Oddly the old fashioned flashers don't seem to like being filmed these days... The weirdos have been out-weirdo'd.

Yup nowadays they’d be on cctv!

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 07/10/2026 21:27

fashionqueen0123 · 07/10/2026 21:25

Yup nowadays they’d be on cctv!

It seems like even when they are they can't get arrested - see Wayne C as mentioned above.
Just a blip of course, in an otherwise unblemished...oh no, it wasn't. Could it possibly be men protecting other men that results in women being abused and killed? Of course it is. Every time. There's always a man who knew or at the least suspected and decided not to do anything.

fashionqueen0123 · 07/10/2026 21:36

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 07/10/2026 21:27

It seems like even when they are they can't get arrested - see Wayne C as mentioned above.
Just a blip of course, in an otherwise unblemished...oh no, it wasn't. Could it possibly be men protecting other men that results in women being abused and killed? Of course it is. Every time. There's always a man who knew or at the least suspected and decided not to do anything.

Edited

Yes it infuriates me he was doing that and likely the fact he didn’t get caught thrilled him and led him to worse

purpleflowersfordays · 07/10/2026 21:41

Naunet · 06/10/2026 19:04

I read a comment recently that said something like: Men are protectors, but they're protectors of other men, not women.

I think there's a lot of truth in that.

They only protect what is valuable to them imo

Duncantoldme2 · 07/10/2026 21:52

Ain't men great

Duncantoldme2 · 07/10/2026 21:53

Duncantoldme2 · 07/10/2026 21:51

3 years he got. For attempting to kill her with an axe.

Greenseawitch · 07/10/2026 22:08

I just read about a democratic candidate in the USA being raped while she went out to repair and election placard and the latest vile details of the Andrew Tate case that are all over Twitter/X tonight.

Everyday there are more stories of violence and perversion coming out.

At least women speaking out and some of these men facing criminal investigations is welcome but I am truly sickened by all of this.

Thewonderfuldollypartonsbra · 07/10/2026 22:19

fashionqueen0123 · 07/10/2026 21:11

Wasn’t that what Wayne couzens did- at a McDonald’s or similar? How are the police not aware!

They are aware

They just don't care enough to give a fuck

They laugh at off until a woman is murdered and then it's 'lessons will be learned'

They never are

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 07/10/2026 22:23

BBC News - Man jailed for killing ex days after early release
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8040lwewkepo

OsfameronTanamoril · 07/10/2026 22:24

So sorry @Thewonderfuldollypartonsbra for what you have to put up with.
Every time something like this happens- which is daily- I walk around furious for the rest of the day. Not at all productive and only shortening my life, but I can't help it.