AIBU: people calling it peri-menopause instead of menopause

[Joyful26]

ok firstly I know that technically you are in peri-menopause, then the menopause itself is literally the day your period stops altogether- then after that one moment in time you are post-menopausal.

But people always calling it peri-menopause is clearly to indicate that they are actually still really young and nowhere near the menopause itself yet.

I think that’s why it grates on me so much. Because on the one hand they’re championing the issues that affect women etc, but at the same time making it clear that they themselves are actually very young and youthful- yet not afraid to mention these issues.

for what it’s worth I can’t be bothered faux-impressing anyone and I just call it the menopause.

but every single one of my friends calls it peri-menopause or they’re simply’peri’. We’re all mid 40s.

just saw someone on LinkedIn purporting to do a Women’s rights post, someone in her 50s commented about the menopause, and the original poster replied but talked about peri-menopause.

AIBU or a people who call it peri-menopause just a bit vain? 😅

We’re not robots with on-off switches. Hormones fluctuate up and down rather than dropping smoothly, but there is a long term trend. You can still get pregnant during the peri menopause. You are officially in the menopause when you have had no periods for a year but even after that your hormones are fluctuating.

No, she isn't.

I get what you mean, it’s like when people say they have stage 4 cancer like they’re more special than the people who have stage 1 cancer. All cancer is serious, why do they have to make the point about theirs being such a big deal by announcing its stage 4. It would save them time just to say cancer.

Stage 4 is markedly different to stage 1, as I've said multiple times. People aren't just mentioning stage 4 "like they're more special".

Do you see how silly that sounds? Well so does your rant about peri menopause. Bringing correct, accurate medical vocabulary into every day speech is actually helpful to a lot of people and shouldn’t be discouraged.

For someone who claims to want "correct, accurate medical vocabulary" brought into everyday speech, she should check her facts, and so should all the posters telling me to read her dreadful post yet again.

That's inaccurate though. If you're having symptoms of menopause but still getting periods, it's peri. If your periods have stopped, it's just menopause.

Is Menopause not a label? I think its absolutely clear. Getting symptoms and still having periods? Perimenopause. Periods have stopped but still getting symptoms? Menopause. Somer women are going to have an easy ride and not need (or not choose to have) medical intervention, others will need (or choose) to use one or more medications. Still others might wish to use medications but it will be unsafe for them.

I am not sure how old you are, I am 74 and can tell you that "peri" as a term existed the mid 90's because I was there.

I genuinely can't fathom why some posters can't understand this post. Would it help you understand if the first paragraph was in speech marks or something?

She is saying how ridiculous it would be to say that people shouldn't differentiate between stage 1 and stage 4

it was called menopause when I was enduring it, peri came into commone usage during those years and then once through what i thought was the worst, bleeding started up again which GP referred to as PM bleeding and referred me for tests. However as it was less than a year since I'd had what i considered my final period it was just the final throes of peri and not cancer. That was when I became aware of the term, my take away from all this is that we need better information and clear explanations.

So the word menopause used by itself has no real use then?

Realistically its like the peak of Everest. You're there for a very short time.

I'm not 100% happy about this openness about menopause.
It's a double-edged sword.

I've a friend who's now post menopause whose overbearing abusive prick of a dh is pressuring her to go on HRT.
She has no desire to. Yet he goes in and on about it.
She's in tears as she tells me this.

It's just another stick to beat her with.
Any righteous concerns about his often disgusting behaviour are dismissed with oh you're not thinking straight any more, you need HRT.
The worse thing about this is his relatives view him as caring and in touch with women's issues.
Bollocks. It's just another stick to beat her with.

That doesn’t make any sense! I’m 41, my menstrual cycle still works like a clockwork but I definitely felt a lot of changes in the last 12 months: weight gain; random hairs in my chin that grow overnight; anxiety and lost of drive. It’s not vanity to show that they are still young - it’s righty assuming peri and menopause are two distinct stages! Women health is so complex, it doesn’t help when there is still women with this ignorant “oh they must be so vain” mindset.

but he'd be a shit anyway, he'd just be a shit about something else.

Because some women have started attributing everything to it. I think it actually dilutes the issue. There are women at work who never shut up about it. Unfortunately I think other people then find it tedious. That might be unfair but the reality is that most people don’t want to know about your peri menopause symptoms.

But peri-menopause can last for up to 10 years so your friends could be 10 years away from actual menopause. Do you see the distinction? These symptoms for 10 years or so are debilitating for some. Peri is accurate description.

Maybe but this is a very useful stick to beat her with.
Oh she's not thinking straight etc.
Oh you're so caring thinking about her health and well being.

It's not automatically a good thing to make out everything is about hormones.

No, that's just the negative connotations you associate with it.
Perimenopause is the active transitional phase leading up to menopause, while menopause is a single point in time confirmed after 12 consecutive months without a period. So when your 'friends' say they are perimenopausal, unless they haven't had a period for a year, they are correct.

Yes. I think the problem is that the increased willingness to name and awareness of peri symptoms has pushed the term menopause (which now is used to mean a shorter phase than latterly) into “old” territory.

Well I’m incredibly grateful that women nowadays have been given the words to describe their bodies and what is happening to it. It wasn’t long ago that women didn’t even know what parts of their bodies were called. My mum didn’t even know about periods, how you got pregnant or where babies came from… when she had her first period she thought she was dying!
So no I don’t agree with you, not only is peri menopause the correct term, but I also think women have earnt the right to label what their body is going through however they wish!
if saying peri is purely to feel younger and delay feeling old then kudos to them - it’s hard enough without feeling old and dried up too!

Women attributing everything to it mean that men can attribute everything to it, too.
Clearly she's not capable of doing this job any more because of her hormones.
Not her fault, she can't help it nevertheless...

I’m in the minority here but agree with you OP, so many of my friends claim ‘ peri ‘ but facts state if you haven’t had a period in 12 months you’re in menopause , which I am aged 47 .

No, you're annoyingly wrong.

Peri is when your periods start to act totally sketchy, you get two in one month for example, and they can last 2 weeks, meaning you're bleeding all month round, (which has been my reality for 2 years now).

And no, menopause is not "the day you don't get a period". It has to be a year of no periods.

You're mocking a very real and distressing condition, but you do you.

Can't believe you said "faux impressing". Who would be impressed by month-long bleeding and soaking through bedsheets every night?

Actually, you're a disgusting person.

Same for me!

Try reading the whole post again, and maybe then you'll see what the poster is actually saying.

Perimenopause and menopause are not the same thing.

Nothing you’ve said makes sense. 😂 I call it perimenopause because that’s literally the phase I’m in. I’m 46 and have had one period in the last year. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s not menopause or post-menopause because my periods haven’t stopped yet (as far as I know). Honestly, I don’t really talk about it because I feel fine. I do have other chronic health conditions and maybe they are masking things. It’s hard to know what causes what. But I don’t feel like I have any perimenopausal symptoms other than the periods that have gone from 12 a year to 4 to now 1. 🤷🏻‍♀️

True. And if you’re in the phase before that, which can last for years, where your periods are changing (but you are still having them), and you’re suffering a number of additional specific symptoms, then you’re in peri menopause.

YES, thank you! Please do talk about it!
My my periods stopped completely at 35. I still remember the white hot anger I got at 31 - and all my sudden suicidal episodes I had, thanks to Peri-Menopause (which due to my age, the doctors were totally flummoxed by!).

According to the stats women I'm not a complete abnormality, but I am so grateful when someone does mention early Menopause, because it makes me feel not quite so alone.
Anyway, back to the topic - the majority of posters are correct, the stages are: Peri-Menopause
Menopause
Post-Menopause.

But, if you really desperately prefer to say 'Menopause' for the entire cycle, then go for it.

So she’s married to a prick but you’re going to blame openness about women’s menopause for him being a prick?