Page 4 | He just walked into my room like it was nothing

GingerdeadMan · 06/10/2026 10:26

Sunbringer · 05/10/2026 22:45

I don’t think we have enough info. I wouldn’t be scared or upset if someone I’d got on with and who was vouched for by friend knocked and chatted to me from the door for example.

I wouldn be upset if he just walked in and approached me and tried to get me to sleep with him.

Of course you’re entitled to feel upset about either scenario but a more detailed description would be useful.

Edited

I wouldn’t be scared or upset if someone I’d got on with and who was vouched for by friend knocked and chatted to me from the door

Really? you don't think that's utterly inappropriate?

I would not be happy if some dude I'd only just met did this. Men don't knock on women's bedroom doors 'for a chat' after they've gone to bed.

You sound very naive.

In fact I'd find it weird and overstepping normal boundaries if a woman I didn't know well did this. When I say goodnight and shut my bedroom door, it means Im no longer available for interaction until I choose to come back out! They can fuck off with their chat!

Im sure Im not alone in this.

Namechangerage · 06/10/2026 10:27

Recharged1 · 06/10/2026 09:21

Oh my god, I will not report my friend to social services because a man walked into my room. If I had seen any dodgy behaviour towards her daughter I definitely would.

I will say it to her though regarding her DD just to be on the safe side.
I’m quite annoyed about the whole situation so still thinking about how I’ll raise it.

Genuine question - how do you or friend know for sure he wouldn’t do this to the daughter? Or would when she is a bit older?

He had never met you before and felt comfortable doing that. He clearly feels at home in your friend’s house and able to do what he wants…

Can you ONE HUNDRED PERCENT say that he hasn’t or wouldn’t do similar with the daughter?

If there is even a tiny niggle then please talk to your friend about it and go from there.

BunnyLake · 06/10/2026 10:28

Stopbeingsoridiculous · 06/10/2026 09:52

For Gods Sake what has happened to so many women on this thread, that find the OPs scenario ‘scary’ , feel the situation had her ‘cornered’ and made her ‘vulnerable’ ?
I see a man ASKING a woman if she’s interested in him, being told ‘no’ and that she found his approach uncomfortable and wanted him to leave… and did ! to be an absolutely bog standard way to start a relationship and have done so multiple times as a younger woman after enjoying the conversation earlier in the evening at a dinner party. I have equally rejected overtures where the interest in me has been misread - or that I was not free to start a new relationship.. and they have done exactly as this man has done. Made an advance, been told no.. and left .

The level of paranoia on here directed at your friends friend is off the scale. Far from an entire bunting of red flags, I see none. I see a man very comfortable in his friendship of your friend. A normal man who has spend considerable time looking after your friends place and a place he and she obviously feel comfortable being in.

Wheras OP and many posters sound like Victorian fainting violets utterly shocked by a man approaching them.. perhaps you should all sort out a family male guardian to prevent all these terrible men from even looking in your direction to save your ‘vulnerability’ .

As a 62yrs old and a relic of the woman’s movement, this level of drama and mistrust of men really saddens me.

I’m 65 and I don’t understand your post at all. Since when is entering someone’s bedroom an acceptable way to ask for a date? I think you need to take your username’s advice.

Junglejune · 06/10/2026 10:28

Stopbeingsoridiculous · 06/10/2026 09:52

For Gods Sake what has happened to so many women on this thread, that find the OPs scenario ‘scary’ , feel the situation had her ‘cornered’ and made her ‘vulnerable’ ?
I see a man ASKING a woman if she’s interested in him, being told ‘no’ and that she found his approach uncomfortable and wanted him to leave… and did ! to be an absolutely bog standard way to start a relationship and have done so multiple times as a younger woman after enjoying the conversation earlier in the evening at a dinner party. I have equally rejected overtures where the interest in me has been misread - or that I was not free to start a new relationship.. and they have done exactly as this man has done. Made an advance, been told no.. and left .

The level of paranoia on here directed at your friends friend is off the scale. Far from an entire bunting of red flags, I see none. I see a man very comfortable in his friendship of your friend. A normal man who has spend considerable time looking after your friends place and a place he and she obviously feel comfortable being in.

Wheras OP and many posters sound like Victorian fainting violets utterly shocked by a man approaching them.. perhaps you should all sort out a family male guardian to prevent all these terrible men from even looking in your direction to save your ‘vulnerability’ .

As a 62yrs old and a relic of the woman’s movement, this level of drama and mistrust of men really saddens me.

I’m in my 60s and I absolutely think women should be more aware rather than less aware than in our day. Wish I’d had people like me advising me rather than the women I had like you who were dismissive and centring men’s needs and behaviours. I wouldn’t have had so many uncomfortable or borderline scary situations and people I know would quite possibly not have been raped.

The OP obviously wasn’t interested (she could’ve come and chatted to him if she wanted to signal interest but she didn’t) and didn’t want this random man coming in uninvited. If he absolutely had to try his luck he could have stood at the door and asked if she wanted a drink or a chat. But he didn’t he came into her bedroom uninvited and sat on her bed. That shows someone with a level of entitlement that could be risky.

Holidaymodeon · 06/10/2026 10:30

Stopbeingsoridiculous · 06/10/2026 09:52

For Gods Sake what has happened to so many women on this thread, that find the OPs scenario ‘scary’ , feel the situation had her ‘cornered’ and made her ‘vulnerable’ ?
I see a man ASKING a woman if she’s interested in him, being told ‘no’ and that she found his approach uncomfortable and wanted him to leave… and did ! to be an absolutely bog standard way to start a relationship and have done so multiple times as a younger woman after enjoying the conversation earlier in the evening at a dinner party. I have equally rejected overtures where the interest in me has been misread - or that I was not free to start a new relationship.. and they have done exactly as this man has done. Made an advance, been told no.. and left .

The level of paranoia on here directed at your friends friend is off the scale. Far from an entire bunting of red flags, I see none. I see a man very comfortable in his friendship of your friend. A normal man who has spend considerable time looking after your friends place and a place he and she obviously feel comfortable being in.

Wheras OP and many posters sound like Victorian fainting violets utterly shocked by a man approaching them.. perhaps you should all sort out a family male guardian to prevent all these terrible men from even looking in your direction to save your ‘vulnerability’ .

As a 62yrs old and a relic of the woman’s movement, this level of drama and mistrust of men really saddens me.

at bedtime, in her bedroom? The place she thought was private?
you describe yourself as a relic and here I would agree.
theres no place for defending this kind of behaviour , regardless of whether he knocked or not, the op was not interested, it was just a night at someone’s house, where they both happened to be staying, the op had no idea that a strange man would be staying at the same time, and clearly wasn’t that comfortable with the arrangement.
it was not a club or pub where a stranger harmlessly asked her out.
theres a time and a place and this was not it.

you might be 62 but you have a lot of growing up to do

Holidaymodeon · 06/10/2026 10:30

Stopbeingsoridiculous · 06/10/2026 09:52

For Gods Sake what has happened to so many women on this thread, that find the OPs scenario ‘scary’ , feel the situation had her ‘cornered’ and made her ‘vulnerable’ ?
I see a man ASKING a woman if she’s interested in him, being told ‘no’ and that she found his approach uncomfortable and wanted him to leave… and did ! to be an absolutely bog standard way to start a relationship and have done so multiple times as a younger woman after enjoying the conversation earlier in the evening at a dinner party. I have equally rejected overtures where the interest in me has been misread - or that I was not free to start a new relationship.. and they have done exactly as this man has done. Made an advance, been told no.. and left .

The level of paranoia on here directed at your friends friend is off the scale. Far from an entire bunting of red flags, I see none. I see a man very comfortable in his friendship of your friend. A normal man who has spend considerable time looking after your friends place and a place he and she obviously feel comfortable being in.

Wheras OP and many posters sound like Victorian fainting violets utterly shocked by a man approaching them.. perhaps you should all sort out a family male guardian to prevent all these terrible men from even looking in your direction to save your ‘vulnerability’ .

As a 62yrs old and a relic of the woman’s movement, this level of drama and mistrust of men really saddens me.

at bedtime, in her bedroom? The place she thought was private?
you describe yourself as a relic and here I would agree.
theres no place for defending this kind of behaviour , regardless of whether he knocked or not, the op was not interested, it was just a night at someone’s house, where they both happened to be staying, the op had no idea that a strange man would be staying at the same time, and clearly wasn’t that comfortable with the arrangement.
it was not a club or pub where a stranger harmlessly asked her out.
theres a time and a place and this was not it.

you might be 62 but you have a lot of growing up to do

NoisyMonster678 · 06/10/2026 10:42

You are right to be cautious, he should have understood that he should have respected your space, especially at night and barging into your room uninvited was absalutely not acceptable.

Your friend seems to have completely dismissed your concerns for reasons only she is aware of.

I think the guy has limited understanding of boundaries of women and until someone speaks to him about his actions that night, it could happen again due to his lack of social awareness.

Original poster

Recharged1 · 06/10/2026 10:53

Namechangerage · 06/10/2026 10:27

Genuine question - how do you or friend know for sure he wouldn’t do this to the daughter? Or would when she is a bit older?

He had never met you before and felt comfortable doing that. He clearly feels at home in your friend’s house and able to do what he wants…

Can you ONE HUNDRED PERCENT say that he hasn’t or wouldn’t do similar with the daughter?

If there is even a tiny niggle then please talk to your friend about it and go from there.

Show quote history

I’ve said that I will raise the topic with my friend but I will absolutely not report her for anything (as some have suggested here)

OP posts:

JHound · 06/10/2026 11:14

Recharged1 · 05/10/2026 20:02

Didn't know where to post this so sorry if it doesn't fit, but it really bothered me and I just want to vent.

I stayed with a good friend last weekend. She is an amazing friend but maybe too trusting at times. Anyway, she said on Friday that another friend of hers would stay over that night and just crashing as he needed a place to stay and would be off again in the morning. I didn't like the idea initially because he is a stranger to me but he literally just arrived dinner time, we got on really well and went to bed at a reasonable enough hour.

Maybe 10 mins after I'd gone to bed he came to my room and quite clearly came on to me. Now we had gotten on well that evening but at no point had I been flirting with him at all (at least I don't think I did!). He didn't touch or corner me to be fair but it was still really unsettling and I felt really uneasy at night and pushed my bags against the door.

I told my friend the day after and she seemed confused and uncomfortable but it made me feel like she was trying to imply that I had misinterpreted what he had said.

The whole thing made me so uneasy. First of all his completely inappropriate behavior of coming into my room. Then the fact that he has a key to my friend's place where she lives on her own with her daughter. And her weird reaction which seemed like she was trying to brush it off. I get that they are friends but if a friend of mine had done this I'd be furious at least. He was gone the next day but apparently was back while we were out and she seemed happy that he had sorted some of her housework for her. I think it's been the most uncomfortable stay I have had in a long time!

I think there are two separate things here. Her having a daughter and him having a key to her place isn’t an issue in and of itself and not really your business.

Him just walking into your room to hit on you is disturbing and your friend’s reaction disappointing.

Rightsraptor · 06/10/2026 11:15

I also find your friend's minimising comments worrying, so similar to the 'are you sure he wasn't just being friendly?' that got trotted out by all & sundry in my youth, now aeons ago, when any man said wildly inappropriate things to a young teen (me).

JHound · 06/10/2026 11:25

Recharged1 · 06/10/2026 06:59

He came in asking if I was still awake, sat down at the end of the bed and asked if I wanted to spend some time with him. He didn’t touch me at any point so I can’t fault him for that.
I wasn’t sure what exactly he meant and asked and that’s when he edged closer and said that we could just spend the night together and I told him no and that he had to leave because he was making me uncomfortable. He simply said ok and left. Didn’t seem angry or argued.
He’s quite good looking so I assume that this bullshit has worked for him before.
I don’t think that he’s a predator as some people here suggested but definitely a cheeky fucker who was chancing it.

Show quote history

I am genuinely shocked there are MNers posting that they would not have an issue with a strange man simply walking into their bedroom while they were in bed. That would freak me out too even if we had been talking earlier in the evening. If he knocked and waited for an invite to come in I would see that as very different.

Pumpkinsaregrowingnicely · 06/10/2026 11:26

See mace should be a handbag necessity imo..
Fucking creep. Your mate is also an idiot.

Holidaymodeon · 06/10/2026 11:50

Rightsraptor · 06/10/2026 11:15

I also find your friend's minimising comments worrying, so similar to the 'are you sure he wasn't just being friendly?' that got trotted out by all & sundry in my youth, now aeons ago, when any man said wildly inappropriate things to a young teen (me).

It was recently said to me regarding a work harassment scenario, shocking and disappointing, especially when I have heard things like that said in the 90s about similar inappropriate scenarios

SomethingFun · 06/10/2026 12:01

Many women are raped or sexually assaulted in scenarios such as these - a friend of a friend who is just being too friendly or doesn’t understand being nice isn’t a come on or whatever bullshit excuse people come up with for sexual assaulters they know and like.

I cannot believe any actual human woman would be ok with someone she barely knows barging into her room and sitting on the bed she is in and asking for sex. If op froze with fear or if she was already fast asleep or a bit drunk would he have left her alone do you think?

LondonLass2026 · 06/10/2026 12:06

SylvanMoon · 06/10/2026 09:44

Might your friend have been setting you up with this man? That it was her intention to put the two of you together as she thought you'd get on?

Oh yes, op, a "friend" did to me 20 years ago. Albeit not when I was in bed!

I'd gone to her house for the evening, and she kept grinning and I didn't know why. I was single and had previously told her I'd like to meet someone.

The smirks continued, and then in walks her cousin. A massively overweight guy, looked older than me, and just sat next to me. Totally shook me, especially when she made herself scarce.

I politely chatted to him (I was younger and much less confident) and then asked her for a lift home as I was really upset. I never talked to her again.

I canmot even imagine anything happening if I had been in bed, as I did used to stay round her house sometimes. I hope you're OK. This is horrible.

Makebelieveanotherlife · 06/10/2026 12:08

DaisyDooley · 06/10/2026 00:44

Bloody fucking men.
What did he expect? For you to say ‘oh yes strange man I’ll jump into bed with you in someone else house’.
The sheer nerve of the man!
I would have screamed and told him to get the fuck out,
Hope you are ok. He’s a twat and I wouldn’t be staying with your friend anymore.

What about this stupid woman who gave him a key to her house which her minor daughter lives in? Stupid woman, she’s probably desperate for him or something.

Original poster

Recharged1 · 06/10/2026 12:26

NoisyMonster678 · 06/10/2026 10:42

You are right to be cautious, he should have understood that he should have respected your space, especially at night and barging into your room uninvited was absalutely not acceptable.

Your friend seems to have completely dismissed your concerns for reasons only she is aware of.

I think the guy has limited understanding of boundaries of women and until someone speaks to him about his actions that night, it could happen again due to his lack of social awareness.

I somehow don’t think that it was ignorance or lack of awareness but rather entitlement. He is even a people manager so should be used to basic social etiquette which makes me think that he just choses to ignore them. But maybe I’m just bitter.

OP posts:

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 06/10/2026 12:33

Stopbeingsoridiculous · 06/10/2026 09:52

For Gods Sake what has happened to so many women on this thread, that find the OPs scenario ‘scary’ , feel the situation had her ‘cornered’ and made her ‘vulnerable’ ?
I see a man ASKING a woman if she’s interested in him, being told ‘no’ and that she found his approach uncomfortable and wanted him to leave… and did ! to be an absolutely bog standard way to start a relationship and have done so multiple times as a younger woman after enjoying the conversation earlier in the evening at a dinner party. I have equally rejected overtures where the interest in me has been misread - or that I was not free to start a new relationship.. and they have done exactly as this man has done. Made an advance, been told no.. and left .

The level of paranoia on here directed at your friends friend is off the scale. Far from an entire bunting of red flags, I see none. I see a man very comfortable in his friendship of your friend. A normal man who has spend considerable time looking after your friends place and a place he and she obviously feel comfortable being in.

Wheras OP and many posters sound like Victorian fainting violets utterly shocked by a man approaching them.. perhaps you should all sort out a family male guardian to prevent all these terrible men from even looking in your direction to save your ‘vulnerability’ .

As a 62yrs old and a relic of the woman’s movement, this level of drama and mistrust of men really saddens me.

I'm 60. Are you one of the few women that haven't been terrorised and assaulted by random men in the street and men in positions of trust?

Are you even aware of the horrifying rape statistics in this country?

Either you are abysmally ignorant or you are a callous (internalised) misogynist: these can be the only explanations for why you think that the OP and PPs here are being hysterical about what was clearly INAPPROPRIATE boundary-stomping behaviour by a man who had sex on his brain and is likely twice as strong as OP.

GingerdeadMan · 06/10/2026 12:39

Gods Sake what has happened to so many women on this thread, that find the OPs scenario ‘scary’

Sexual assault and harassment, that's what!

Even if you think 'scary' is too strong a word (and I don't), it is fucking inappropriate. A man that transgresses boundaries is a dangerous man.

OP, you aren't bitter, you're sensible!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 06/10/2026 12:45

Recharged1 · 05/10/2026 20:02

Didn't know where to post this so sorry if it doesn't fit, but it really bothered me and I just want to vent.

I stayed with a good friend last weekend. She is an amazing friend but maybe too trusting at times. Anyway, she said on Friday that another friend of hers would stay over that night and just crashing as he needed a place to stay and would be off again in the morning. I didn't like the idea initially because he is a stranger to me but he literally just arrived dinner time, we got on really well and went to bed at a reasonable enough hour.

Maybe 10 mins after I'd gone to bed he came to my room and quite clearly came on to me. Now we had gotten on well that evening but at no point had I been flirting with him at all (at least I don't think I did!). He didn't touch or corner me to be fair but it was still really unsettling and I felt really uneasy at night and pushed my bags against the door.

I told my friend the day after and she seemed confused and uncomfortable but it made me feel like she was trying to imply that I had misinterpreted what he had said.

The whole thing made me so uneasy. First of all his completely inappropriate behavior of coming into my room. Then the fact that he has a key to my friend's place where she lives on her own with her daughter. And her weird reaction which seemed like she was trying to brush it off. I get that they are friends but if a friend of mine had done this I'd be furious at least. He was gone the next day but apparently was back while we were out and she seemed happy that he had sorted some of her housework for her. I think it's been the most uncomfortable stay I have had in a long time!

If I were your friend, I too would feel “confused and uncomfortable”.

‘Confused’ because a friend I trust to the extent of giving him a key and pretty much free run of my place would behave by coming on to my friend in an invasive way (entering her bedroom) and causing distress and alarm. I would be very confused if a male friend of mine behaved this way to another female friend when both were staring at mine.And ‘uncomfortable’ - well, he’ll yeah

JHound · 06/10/2026 13:03

Makebelieveanotherlife · 06/10/2026 12:08

What about this stupid woman who gave him a key to her house which her minor daughter lives in? Stupid woman, she’s probably desperate for him or something.

Show quote history

There is nothing wrong with her letting her friend have a key to her house. Stop spinning his inappropriate behaviour onto her.

JHound · 06/10/2026 13:06

Stopbeingsoridiculous · 06/10/2026 09:52

For Gods Sake what has happened to so many women on this thread, that find the OPs scenario ‘scary’ , feel the situation had her ‘cornered’ and made her ‘vulnerable’ ?
I see a man ASKING a woman if she’s interested in him, being told ‘no’ and that she found his approach uncomfortable and wanted him to leave… and did ! to be an absolutely bog standard way to start a relationship and have done so multiple times as a younger woman after enjoying the conversation earlier in the evening at a dinner party. I have equally rejected overtures where the interest in me has been misread - or that I was not free to start a new relationship.. and they have done exactly as this man has done. Made an advance, been told no.. and left .

The level of paranoia on here directed at your friends friend is off the scale. Far from an entire bunting of red flags, I see none. I see a man very comfortable in his friendship of your friend. A normal man who has spend considerable time looking after your friends place and a place he and she obviously feel comfortable being in.

Wheras OP and many posters sound like Victorian fainting violets utterly shocked by a man approaching them.. perhaps you should all sort out a family male guardian to prevent all these terrible men from even looking in your direction to save your ‘vulnerability’ .

As a 62yrs old and a relic of the woman’s movement, this level of drama and mistrust of men really saddens me.

If a strange man barged into my bedroom, at night, while I am in bed I absolutely would be unnerved. Especially if he then sat on my bed (uninvited) and propositioned me for sex.

And yeah I think it’s very weird you think walking into strangers bedrooms and propositioning them for sex is a “typical way to start a relationship”.

JHound · 06/10/2026 13:09

Itsthewoluff · 06/10/2026 10:00

That pretty much sums up how I feel and said a couple of posts before yours. I’m also the same age as you. A pretty familiar scenario to me too, in my youth.

As long as he knocked!

Show quote history

He knocked and barged in. OP did not invite him in. And I can well behave this was more common when you were young. So were many things that are seen as relics of a dinosaur age.

outerspacepotato · 06/10/2026 13:15

Your friend is a dumbass.

This guy is extremely predatory, needs a place to stay so is homeless possibly, and she's given him a key. She invited him to stay when she was having you stay.

Don't stay at her place again, meet up away from her home. She's not amazing, she's not taking you seriously when you told her what happened and she has a daughter. I'd keep an eye open for changes in the daughter's behaviour.

Check that you have all your stuff.

GingerdeadMan · 06/10/2026 13:19

JHound · 06/10/2026 13:03

There is nothing wrong with her letting her friend have a key to her house. Stop spinning his inappropriate behaviour onto her.

Show quote history

Its not her fault the male friend was inappropriate, true.

But giving him a key when she has a child in the house and either a)she clearly doesn't know him as well as she thinks, or b) is happy to let him get away with dodgy behaviour - that's on the friend! She needs to take responsibility for keeping her child safe. That's not making her responsible for his behaviour, that's taking reasonable precautions. The biggest risk for childhood abuse is living with a man not related to the child.

ETA - now she knows this man's behaviour is inappropriate, she IS responsible for dealing with it - not simply shrugging it off and potentially putting her child at risk.