To be appalled that parents need to be supported by government to potty train their child

[Wisefishswimpast]

That^^

Why are these parenting fails happening? - not potty trained for starting school, tooth extractions in young children, rising obesity rates….

Is there no accountability?
Why is this happening?

YANBU - parenting standards have declined which is terrible

YABU - this is how things are because….<explanation>

I know there will be exceptions to the above, for example certain health conditions, late maturation of signals between brain and bladder. I am referring to the more widespread rise in these instances.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

She didn’t. I think the fact that people working full time need government help to survive is a whole conversation that needs to be had on its own. But perhaps it’s another symptom of a wider societal problem that’s also affecting the quality of parenting.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

I used to be a playleader at our village playgroup and we didn't take children until the term in which they were 3 and they had to be potty trained. As we didn't take them if they weren't, it soon focused those parents who wanted a few mornings of cheap childcare.

Schools shouldn't have to take them, and the trouble with SEN children in mainstream schooling is that the lines get blurred. If a child can't toilet themselves then they shouldn't be in a mainstream school.

She might need nappies now and this not your fault or hers but autistic children can be surprising in my experience of my son and working with other autistic children. Sometimes, it is as if a switch turns on and they suddenly "get it," whether it be toilet training, riding a bike or a whole raft of things. She may suddenly get the idea and voilá. If she doesn't, the school will be aware of her issues and know it is part of her autism so there is no reason for you to feel guilty. This thread is not about children like your daughter.

Sorry about the repeated posts. Accidental, of course. Please put it down to my great age.

If they have spinal bifida for example but not a learning disability then I don't see why they can't be in mainstream?

On a seperate - but not unrelated - subject, parents really do seem to be reluctant to do anything that might upset their child these days as a consequence of the baby-led agenda that is pushed so relentlessly by online parents and the NHS.
It starts from birth when it's drummed into parents that their child must not cry, ever and you can read on here regularly about (usually) mums not daring to use the toilet themselves because the baby 'refuses' to be put down and might cry.
Then there are the cutsie 'nap trapping' and 'velcro babies' again who 'refuse ' to be put down and the insistance that waking up for night feeds beyond a few months old is 'entirely normal'. I won't even go there with bedtime routines.
The general direction of travel is the baby must not be upset. I was once called cruel for suggesting a bedtime for a six month old might be a good idea.
For these parents, attempting to potty train might be the first time they have to impose rules and neither parent or child is geared up for it.

It might be generational? I was born in the 1980s and didn't encounter any of mango lassi, mango chutney or mango sorbet until well into this century, in my twenties.

I did know what a mango was and had tasted one on several occasions but they were seen as a luxury tropical fruit along with melons, kiwi fruit, grapefruit (and avocado) etc - "basic" fruit for kids was apple, pear, satsuma, banana all year round, tinned pineapple/peaches, rhubarb/gooseberry in winter crumble and then some strawberries, raspberries and maybe foraged blackberries in season.

My own DS and his peers are much more used to mango/melon/pineapple/blueberries than I ever was, but wouldn't know a stick of rhubarb or a gooseberry if it bit them.

Go back 30-40 years ago very few mothers of toddlers/preschoolers would have been at work at all. Nowadays an “average” mum of a toddler/preschooler is probably working say 20 hours a week (taking account of the many who work full time, part time, and some stay at home mums).

In the UK and elsewhere, feeding the capitalist juggernaut was deemed more important that parents spending time with their children.

DW lol

Plus to get a place at specialist schools the child has to be severely disabled and places very limited. Not sure how many times this needs to be said?

I can only speak for 30+ years ago but this is an urban myth peddled time and time again on MN by younger parents who are convinced every generation has had it easier than them.
My son is 33 and I returned to fulltime work after my standard three-month maternity leave. As did all of my female friends, family and colleagues. There was no option to request hours to suit you, so most did.

Or shit parenting??

If we're going to bring out anecdotal evidence then I'll add mine. I am mid 30s and my mother didn't work once her children were born. I didn't know anyone with a working mother until I went to uni. I don't know if I think she had it easier than me, as such, because we were quite poor. But it's certainly easier to fit in potty training when you have nowhere to be in a day.

I work full time and potty trained my children at 2 fwiw.

There is a big difference with people being unable to have the time to potty train because apparently they are single mothers with no time, and people having no inclination to teach their child how to potty train which is what many of the teachers and childcare workers are saying consistently here.

You are putting 2+2 and getting 5 because it is not actually based on any actual research done one delayed toileting in school starters.

Disposable nappies are so effective at keeping wet away from the child's bottom that they never learn to be irritated, sore or disgusted at being in nappies.

I also think life is hard for a lot of people and it's easier for them to keep children in nappies than potty-train or having to find public toilets at the drop of a hat.

I don't doubt that it has got worse but when I started school 42 years ago there was no one still in nappies but the amount of children still having 'accidents' was high.