To be appalled that parents need to be supported by government to potty train their child

[Wisefishswimpast]

That^^

Why are these parenting fails happening? - not potty trained for starting school, tooth extractions in young children, rising obesity rates….

Is there no accountability?
Why is this happening?

YANBU - parenting standards have declined which is terrible

YABU - this is how things are because….<explanation>

I know there will be exceptions to the above, for example certain health conditions, late maturation of signals between brain and bladder. I am referring to the more widespread rise in these instances.

It's the Reception staff I feel desperately sorry for - their job is hard enough as it is.

I agree I can’t believe the news saying about sending out potty training info it seems ridiculous

YANBU my daughter works in reception class. There has been talk of the children brushing their teeth at school also. Some of the things she sees are beyond belief. Obviously a lot of parents are doing a great job and there seems to be a lot of children who have SEN who will be the exemption but it definitely does seem like there are a lot of children turning up to school who just aren't ready when it comes to toileting, hygiene etc.

is it not a consequence of some parents raising their kids using screens for hours a day as a pacification method and not actually developing their skills in lots of areas.

I think we need to bring back shame. Because a lot of people's behaviour is pretty damn shameful.

It's an entitlement issue.
Parents think everything is someone else's job.

I don't think social media is helping. As much as I understand parenting is hard and it's ok to give your child chicken nuggets sometimes, it's also creating a culture of 'don't worry if you're failing to -insert basic parenting task here- , parenting is so hard' culture which just makes it easier for the most feckless to do no parenting at all. As is the whole 'wait until they're ready' nonsense.

My friend is a TA, she says they have children who have never sat at a table for meals, no idea how to eat with a knife and fork, in nappies at 5 years old, don’t know how to look at a book and several who can’t dress themselves at all.

Ban disposable nappies? Then parents will be so sick of washing nappies they'll be desperate to potty train their children. That's why children were trained much earlier in the past - disposable nappies didn't exist or at least were not the default.

There could be exemptions for disabled children.

People will be along soon to blame poverty.

Which is insulting to all the fantastic parents living in poverty, who manage not to neglect their children.

I agree with all points made so far. Where has the motivation gone to do these thing s for your child, is it laziness or lack of parenting skills.

It must be awful being in reception having to pick up the pieces, these poor kids too…

Screens as pacifiers yes I get that but don’t know how that translates to excusing parents from teaching these basic self care…imagine if these basics aren’t done then we’ve no hope for, pro social behaviour, manners etc.

What an absolute avoidable drain on public resources and tax payers money - it think its disgraceful

Well, this is what a lot of people wanted. Big state, lots of hand holding; no shame.

This is where it ends up. Adult children raising children.

It is terrible for NT children to still be at nappies at 4. Is it actually getting worse though? I swear this is in the news at this time every single year.

Completely agree with you re the adult children. It's practically an epidemic. So many people these days can't cook, clean or even talk to people properly.

Some areas have rolled out support groups and have seen an improvement which is why it’s in the news again. Why you need a support group is beyond me.

It's already happening in Scotland.

https://www.childsmile.nhs.scot/parents-carers/toothbrushing/toothbrushing-in-school-and-nursery/

My daughter is a secondary teacher and she says the kids with manners stick out a mile because they are so few and far between. She says when she rings home about a child’s behaviour or lack of homework the parents will
more often than not ask her what she wants them to do about it. I should mention she is working in a big city in England and she said this is the worst behaviour she has seen having worked all over the uk.

The scheme sounds like a good idea to me. All these problems are because the Tories cancelled Surestart and the like.

I've said on other threads that when I was working I had a responsibility for primary liaison in the '90s. My primary colleagues had children refusing to sit at the dining room tables, use cutlery etc then.

I absolutely agree. Standards have fallen so far.

I do wonder if it’s because parents are so busy now - most families need two working parents just to survive.

If you have limited time with your DC, doing the hard stuff like potty training and cooking and enforcing a healthy diet/exercise are all less appealing.

Tbf, this was very common in my Reception classes when I started teaching in the 1980s. None of that is new. It is just a shock to people who never taught in certain areas.

Though the not toilet training children didn't seem to start until around 2005, and has got steadily worse since then.

Even just 17 years ago when my DS started preschool this wasn’t an issue. Admittedly, he never used a potty, poor kid always had really long legs* so went from pull up pants straight to the big loo with a stool and a little insert seat.

*Tried a potty once, his knees were up around his ears and it was all just too awkward. Unsurprisingly, he’s now well over 6ft.

While I agree abandoning Surestart was a bad idea, parents managed to potty train their children and teach them to eat at a table and look at books for hundreds of years before Surestart came into existence!

If I'm being kind, I would say that - for a great number of years- there has been this myth peddled that "children will train when they're ready" and that, if a child is ready then training will be effortless. So a lot of parents have inadvertently missed the training window waiting for the child to declare readiness, or go through this hopeless start/stop cycle when kiddo doesn't get it in 3 days.

I agree disposable nappies don't help in all sorts of ways. And some parents are reluctant to teach their child to do anything that they don't want to do (see also table manners, saying please and thank you).

I’m a Reception teacher and honestly, it’s an absolute nightmare. I have 5 children in class now that aren’t potty trained 😔 Of those 5, only one potentially has a developmental delay which would make it understandable in his case. The other 4 are chatty, bright children who can tell you when they have wee’d or pooed, they just don’t see the need to use the toilet. Frankly, it is lazy parenting and when you have this many children that need changing on a frequent basis, it makes teaching almost impossible!

And don’t even get me started on the toothbrushing! I have to support my class to brush their teeth every day, after lunch. The amount of children who have no idea how to use a brush or even gag and heave because they’re not used to the taste of toothpaste is ridiculous. I despair, as school seems to be becoming the default provider for these basic life skills, which takes so much teaching time and then people wonder why education standards are dropping!! Because we’re doing the parents job before we can even begin to teach them anything else!

What’s the scheme?