To be appalled that parents need to be supported by government to potty train their child

[Wisefishswimpast]

That^^

Why are these parenting fails happening? - not potty trained for starting school, tooth extractions in young children, rising obesity rates….

Is there no accountability?
Why is this happening?

YANBU - parenting standards have declined which is terrible

YABU - this is how things are because….<explanation>

I know there will be exceptions to the above, for example certain health conditions, late maturation of signals between brain and bladder. I am referring to the more widespread rise in these instances.

I heard a good theory which was that nappies are so good now the children never feel they’re wet - so don’t learn the unpleasantness of the feeling.

And when there were fabric nappies, everyone was very focussed on stopping using them as soon as possible because of the work involved in using them too…!

There’s a lot of exaggeration and hyperbole about this topic.

Well I had my dc at end of the 90s, and we both worked FT (only had 3 months maternity leave too) but we managed. That's not just anecdotal, or me patting myself on the back, that was normal.
Mine couldn't start playgroup until they were 2.5 and out of nappies. It was just parenting.

Married to a teacher… am informed a number of pupils have never even held books before, try to swipe instead of turning pages and try to zoom in on books.

Also incidents of phoning parents to be told that if something happens in school it’s the teachers responsibility not the parents so don’t bother contacting them again.

One of the boys in my son’s reception class regularly had a can of monster on the way in to school. Teachers had to confiscate on the gate and his mum always laughed. During the food tasting session I supported at they had MANY students had no idea what some fruit and veg were, even things I’d consider basic like a cauliflower or mango. Lots refused to try saying they never ate ‘this weird stuff’

How would punishing their parents help? Surely people need help not punishment, in the first place.

The role of state school in society is to make life better for the next generation and make society more equal, not to further entrench inequality that exists by the time the kids even get through the door.

but were blaming the parents of today for being shit parents, but surely the blame actually lies with the generation above who raised the "adult children"? so what went wrong two generations ago that these blue adults were failed so badly?

Some LAs have put out a "How to potty train your child book" and paired this with health visitors running drop in sessions specifically about potty training. Apparently it's made a real difference which suggests it's lack of knowledge for many families rather than just "can't be bovvered".

Do you not think people will be sick of changing disposable nappies? Much easier and cheaper to have a toilet trained child so I don't think banning disposables will make any difference.

This thread is very us and them, isn’t it? Lots of extreme examples of poor parenting and that sort of puts the person posting in the corner of what is right - we have mango, broccoli and papaya freely available, they have cans of monster and bars of chocolate. We read books, they can’t even turn the pages. (I still don’t believe this one.) We potty trained our children, they didn’t bother.

30 years ago I did work experience at a country park and several kids from a few miles away aged 7 and 8 didn't know what a sheep was. This stuff has always happened.

I've said that before too. This situation is a pretty good example of what happens when everything is accepted, justified and not tackled by professionals or just other members of the family/friends.
Once upon a time, a health visitor and/or older mother would have quite a lot to say about a four-year-old in nappies, but who would dare nowadays? You just need to read the many posts on MN to get the gist of what's acceptable today - your baby, your rules, just go NC, boundaries every time any criticism - no matter how slight - is mentioned.
What if ... yes but ... you don't know what's going on in their life ... he/she might have hidden disabilities ... just ignore them OP ... don't judge ... and so it goes on.
There's no shame, no respect for professionals, no respect for experienced parents.
I would have been utterly embarrassed to send my children to school in nappies, but as I said, no shame - and the knowledge that the school would not dare ask questions.
It really isn't progress.

It’s ridiculous but sadly it needs to be done, I know of two nine year old twins with no health/neurological issues that still wear nappies and won’t go to the toilet. Sometimes it’s just bad parenting and this will hopefully help! It should also help children that do have underlying issues get help sooner.

I think it's important to note that some of these kids are in nursery five days a week whilst the parents work. What is going on there?

Yes indeed. look at the date!

No that is not the role of state school, the role of a school is to provide education, not social engineering, or make up for crap parenting

This is not the first generation of children with two full-time working parents. I am 59 and I worked full-time, as did every one of my friends and family.

Well society has changed a lot in 2 generations tbf. I dont think a lot of parents today emulate parenting as practiced by their parents - they are told it's practically criminal and everything should be child-centred and child-led.

And? There are in fact good parents and crap parents, same as in any field. This pretence that all parents are doing their best and that is good enough is not helping anyine, let alone their children.

Agree. Usually with a side helping of 'but we know better now' 😡

I worked with a woman whose daughter started reception in nappies. The child didn't have SEN and the parents were both well-educated and otherwise very responsible. The reason the daughter wasn't trained was that the dad was very fussy and was worried about the child having accidents on the carpet. The mum thought it was easier to leave her in nappies. Unbelievable isn't it? She was trained in no time at school when she found out what she was meant to do.

People have lost their connections and communities. They no longer have aunts and grandparents living closer by who have btdt

People no longer trust themself. You see it on here where parents all for advice in supporting their child with reading and writing and then end up saying they'll leave it to the school in case they get something wrong.

We'll have govt agencies teaching our children how to walk next.

In what world is mango a basic fruit? I don't think I had any til I was in my twenties and I am not that old!

What rubbish. Surestart wasn't a thing when mine were babies and we used disposable nappies i managed to toilet train 3 of them. And they all could clean their teeth and use cutlery.

@Katypp Yes and so did we and we managed to do it, but we had a really good childminder. A poorly staffed nursery may be different. If you are both working FT you can do all you can, but if the nursery don't support it it will never work.

I also have a severe SEN child in special school who may always be incontinent and the school say he still isn't ready to be toilet trained. Trust me, wiping a primary aged child's arse six times a day is something I'd train away if I could. I think it is a bit more complicated than shit parenting, but it will be in some cases.

When I was in primary 40 years ago I sat next to a kid who was still sitting himself in Y3.