Giving up work

[Oksurething]

Hi all, I am asking here due to there being a lot of followers to this sub,

my partner receives benefits for his mental health, it’s the higher rate so I could qualify to be his caregiver, his rate and circumstances aren’t likely to change.

after calculating my income, I’d be the same off financially,

would it be wise to give up working full time to do this? I’m constantly drained from work and battle to keep on top of my household responsibilities.

So, my question is; if you could get out of the rat race, would you?

This.
we might all like to volunteer and be less tired but carers allowance is there for people who need 24/7 care. The welfare system is in crisis because people abuse it.

This.
we might all like to volunteer and be less tired but carers allowance is there for people who need 24/7 care. The welfare system is in crisis because people abuse it.

Having very little in life apart from being a carer for him will drain your mental health. Being a genuine carer is hard, although you haven’t said what
support He needs

I think you would do better to be more grateful for
the life you have, and try to improve what you don’t like. Your son is 15, get a job in London, live a bit

This is spot on!

Stay in work, work your way up. Life gets easier, you'll earn a bit more, you'll meet more people and have more opportunities.

Don't jack in the rest of your life for a boyfriend!

Giving up work to care for someone should be because they have the care needs and you need to care for them....

You don't even live with him. Do you know what you would be letting yourself in for? How is he managing without someone being his carer right now?
You also have a child to think of in all of this. What do they think?

You’re way too young to be talking like this. Thirties can be busy with work and a kid but it’s no reason to bail on contributing and funding your own family so you can live on benefits. He doesn’t need a carer. He can look after himself and others by the sounds of it. That money isn’t for hanging around with your boyfriend because it might cheer him up (it might just as easily make you both depressed). What on earth are you teaching your child?

Jesus Christ no. You don’t even live together.
I work in recruitment and trust me it’s difficult to re enter the workforce after a prolonged absence.

So you want to fraudulently claim benefits you're clearly not entitled to so you can "thrive" and play at Poundland Lady Bountiful.

What a wonderful role model for your teenager.

If you've got a job and you don't actively hate it stay were you are. If your partner has MH issues you'll need some reason to do something else for you, your NI contributions and sense of well-being.

Apart from all that what does he need you to do for him that he's not able to do for himself? You don't get it just because you want to spend time together.

Id also say that we are claiming dla for my youngest child, highest rate and carers allowance and child benefit and it's absolutely nowhere near enough to run a house on and we are in a cheap part of the world. If you aren't living together then you are running a household on carers alone, it really isn't a lot just from a practical point of view.

Also caring is hardwork and I fully support the carers allowance but you are meant to be doing 35hrs, will you be?

If he really needed a carer, wouldn’t he already have one ?
No you can’t give up work to be your boyfriend’s carer. The tax payers don’t want to pay for you to stay at home. I can’t believe you are asking. The fact that you are no worse off financially speaks volumes about the benefit system.

You want tax payers to facilitate you and the boyfriend spending your lives together, and to thrive being unemployed?

Never throw away your financial independence for anyone or anything.

(Sorry, I quoted that poster because I agree with them)

You need to be providing 35 hours of care for him a week to claim for Carers Allowance. Are you?

You are saying that you can give up full time work and be in the same situation if you this. Carers Allowance is £84 a week. How are you not better off working full time??

Yep this.
I know people who have given up work to be carers. It was never about the money. It was about the fact their loved one needs care and they simply could not provide that and work full time.
One person I know has become very isolated and depressed since giving up his job to care for his disabled son, but he literally had no choice. Yes, his kid is happier and better off for it, but he isn't.

Remember and check what the amount would be once your son moves out because it will reduce

“for me personally, it feels hard to thrive on just weekends and 25days leave a year, in terms of lifestyles”

Fuck me.

Absolutely. Bloody cheeky cow.
But if you mention benefit cheats on here it’s always denied , we all know people do this and lie and get away with it 🤬

I suspect it's a wind up.

I don't think she wants to cheat the system. I have read it is more she does not know what carers element is meant to be for.
It is not for moving a disabled person in so you can quit work, which it seems she wants to do.

She wants to claim carers allowance, he hasn’t got a carer now. She doesn’t care for him for 35 hours a week now.

People can and do have their care needs change where they need a carer when they did not before. So it does not really matter that he does not have a carer now. Many people who have one now, didn't at some point.

The issue here is that she wants move in with him and claim CA so she can have an easier life. That is not what it is for.

There are disabled people that work, we are burnt out too but we do it. He lives alone independently so clearly doesn’t need a carer. Honestly this is wild to me. This must be satire.

I am not saying it the case here, but I do know people with SMI and on the higher rates of benefits for MH that live alone. They do not have a carer as such, but a team of family members and MH professionals that all do their own small bit.

Not having a live in carer does not mean you do not need care.

That’s not what’s happening here. Why are you bringing other people’s real situations into this here situation? OP asked if she - an able bodied person, should give up her job and claim benefits to sit at home and care for her able bodied but mentally unwell boyfriend who hasn’t needed a carer and doesn’t need a carer but she wants more time with him and less time being a responsible adult. She wants to not be at work, basically, but have money to live freely and better than she feels she is now because she has no time.

My point was that that, is ridiculous! As a disabled single mum that is also entitled to higher rate disability allowance, yet works full time, and is often burnt out, I’m offended and I hope this woman gets a grip tbh. If only we could all just give up and cheat the system.