AIBU for refusing primary school homework apart from reading?

[AntiPrimaryHomework]

My dc are 7,9 and 13. We’ve never done any homework at primary school. I strongly disagree with it all except reading.

The school aren’t happy but my dc all have ASD and ADHD diagnosed and they are too exhausted every weekday and at weekends we let them play and relax and take them out.

At secondary school we believe homework is necessary and ds1 happily does his but for primary we just don’t agree at all.

Does anyone else feel the same ?

Yep you prioritise play over learning. Great example to install in your kids...education isn't important.

Your kids have enough barriers to overcome, other parents are employing tutors to improve their children's chances in life. However you know better than all the experts. Crack on. In a few years you'll be back on here moaning your kids aren't trying for their exams

Priorities!

Is your eldest just starting school?

They have homework.

https://www.visitedufinn.com/what-is-the-finnish-approach-to-homework-and-student-workload/
Finnish students receive significantly less homework than their counterparts in most other countries. Primary school students (ages 7-12) typically have about 30 minutes of homework per day, often less in the early years. Secondary school students (ages 13-16) usually have between 30 minutes and an hour daily, while upper secondary students may have slightly more depending on their course load.

Well yes everyone has different priorities, but 'housing' and 'food' are quite important ones. We'd also prioritise lots of outside time (which is also learning) and things like visiting a museum or gallery which provide a wider education.

Play is learning by the way.

So you're out of time for homework. Priorities.

Our primary has a completely optional homework system because of how strongly many parents and teachers agree with you, so I don’t think you’re unreasonable. Perhaps you can influence the policy for others.

How much homework do they get? My daughter is y5 primary and she gets about 20 mins homework a week, along with some reading a day (which she’d do anyway).

As long as the school isn’t demanding a huge amount I think it’s good to get them used to managing homework, in preparation for secondary.

I think if you so strongly do not agree with the school policy you should stop wasting teachers time and just home school your children.

Yes.
Homework exists for a reason. Im sure they can spare 30 mins-1h on one day a week. Even if it isn't all completed, at least make an effort (or ask if homework can be reduced or differentiated more).

Not speaking about you op and your situation, but as someone who works in education the amount of parents who moan about homework for no reason other than laziness grind my gears.

Unless they go to a private primary the chances are we’re talking about a few weekly spellings and some timetables / maths questions.

It’s the perfect way to ease your kids into the homework routine before it really picks up in secondary school. Routine is important especially if your kids have ADHD. You sound like you’re just opting out cause you can’t be bothered.

I’m in total agreement. My two didn’t do homework in primary and they are both A grade high schoolers. School should be for schoolwork. Home is for play at that age.

It's not about the learning. It's about self-discipline and organisation.

On top of that, you're teaching your DCs that they are entitled to opt out of responsibilities they find inconvenient. Nice.

My view is a bit more nuanced. I don’t think there should be homework for infant aged children. I do think some homework to reinforce learning from years 3-6 is not unhelpful as a runway towards secondary. However, I think this homework should be something that the child can do independently and won’t take them that long.

What I really don’t like is homework that requires a lot of parental involvement as it is beyond the cognitive abilities of the child. My eldest’s teacher went through a phase in year 4 of setting project based homework. Eg child go and independently research x topic and design a poster about it. I don’t believe 8 year olds have the skills to sift internet searches effectively at that age to distill the key points (not should they have access to the internet without supervision). These projects used to take hours and hours as my daughter was so ott about presentation and often ruined our entire weekend.

She’s now at a prep where she actually has a lot more homework but it is time limited and self directed. She’s become very good and just cracking on and handing in the next day. It actually reinforces existing learning and I have no issue with it.

They can’t dictate what you do outside of school hours.

You can of course make any decision you feel is right for your children. We refused tablet work and instead got paper homework.

However, I would just ask that you consider the potential cumulative impact of that decision when it comes to overall grades. Not every student will be a top performer, and that's fine. Some will be wothout homework, and that's fine too.

Just don't kid yourself that everyone else is of the same mindset because I'm sure loads of your parent friends will agree with you to your face while actually making their kids do the homework to avoid an awkward disagreement.

I remember as a teen i assumed all my friends were doing the same as me - no revision or GCSEs prep- so it came as a shock to find out they had been revising and did much better than me because everyone had acted far too cool to study and I remember feeling really shocked.

And the impact was actually felt long after: my parents didn't care about education and didn't study themselves and saw themselves as doing ok (I'm sure that's not you) but it was only when I was about 20 that I realised what I wanted to do and I just didn't have the grades or support to go back and study at that point so that was the stage I started feeling resentful that my parents hadn't pushed me, because i was more than capable. I had to assuage myself thst they did their best; I'll do it differently.

So what I'm saying is don't be surprised if other parents do similar in terms of telling you what you want to hear to keep the peace and know that ultimately you have to decide what's best for your kids and stand by that decision.

100% agree. I don’t want to teach my kids that work life bleeds into home life. I don’t want the additional stress it puts on our family. I want my kids to have time to explore and play and rest. 30 hours a week is enough.

My children are grown up now but we only did reading until they got to secondary. I didn't believe in excessive homework for young children. I preferred them to play. They were all so exhausted from being at school all day I felt they were better doing non school stuff after school.

You do you OP…nothing anyone on here says will change your mind will it? 🤷‍♀️

Do you do anything to help with learning?

Showing an interest in my kids study, doing some work with them, learning alongside them teaches them that their studies are important. Not just something they do at school that has nothing to do with home or real life.

When they think its important, that learning is a positive opportunity not a tedious necessity then they embrace it and will likely excell.

Personally I hate the endless times table and spelling practice.

But the projects which include English, Maths, Science, usually some History or Geography AND most importantly creativity are invaluable.

School is important, but it's not the only important thing.

Id rather they play sports in a team, read for pleasure, walk the neighbours dog etc than sit and build a castle out of cereal boxes just because they've been told to do it for school, rather than for the enjoyment of it 🤷

But you can actually do a little of all of that. Mine play sports, do theatre clubs, take part in Scouts, climb trees, play games with the family, have friends round to play and go to friends houses.....and they do homework relevant to the subjects they are learning about.

Done right homework can help to engage children in a love of learning, allows parents to demonstrate their own investment in what their children are doing, and the importance of their lives outside the time that the parents are controlling it. But it requires engagement from both parents and children not resentment.

I disagree with you OP. Obviously I can’t comment on your individual school, but all the homework I have been sent from primary school has been relevant to my sons learning to help him embed it further and help him to learn new things - phonics, numbers etc. Helping your child do homework is a great way to bond and shows them you are interested in their education and what they get up too at school. It also allows you as the parents to understand what they are being taught and if something comes home they really aren’t understanding it helps you to then have a conversation with their teacher and get them extra support if needed.

Would I be sitting there every day doing hours of homework - no. But I also wouldn’t not do anything with them!

Our school doesn't set homework outside of reading apart from isolated projects maybe 2-3 times a year. It's not necessary.

I don't agree with homework at primary age either, but have always encouraged ours to do so - primarily because I don't think it's right for them to assume they can opt out of things that others still have to do. Ds has adhd, and we managed homework on the whole. He's doing GCSEs this year and doesn't have an ehcp. Dd (9) actually has it written into her ehcp that no homework is to be completed. This is because it's always been absolutely torturous for us and her, and she's now also recovering from autistic burnout, 9 months of school avoidance etc. I well understand the challenges of school work, neurodivergence and the impact on family life but lots of others on here won't op.